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It only works if everyone does it, or if you're really well prepared and have irrefutable evidence of something. If you're the only one (or even part of a small

It only works if everyone does it, or if you're really well prepared and have irrefutable evidence of something. If you're the only one (or even part of a small group) calling them out you just get buried. You're basically a naive amateur working against someone who has spent their life focused on getting and exploiting power. It's literally what they live for. Imagine a random guy wandering into an MMA cage and punching Connor Mcgregor in the face. Calling out sociopaths is the social version of doing that. They're prepared, they'll have pawns that do all their dirty work, they'll have built up a network of obligations around themselves, they'll have taken control of whatever channels of information dissemination exist within the group and be actively shaping the narrative within the organisation. Standing up and pointing them out will get the whole apparatus focused on steamrolling you. It's nasty business. Maybe it is better to try before walking away but there's a pretty big personal cost. I've done it and wasted huge amounts of time and energy and i have no idea whether it really made any difference in the end. I think there is an endless sea of problems and you only have a finite life and aren't responsible for everyone else's decisions. If everyone else is going to tolerate BS then who am I to try to change it? There are so many people, so many organisations that you could find a hill to die on every day of the week and probably make no difference to anything. I've come to the conclusion that I'm better off just dodging that stuff when it comes up and focusing on building up healthy, loving relationships among my community rather than trying to tilt against windmills in these hierarchical social organisations. I think my motto is basically 'eh, fuck it, I'm off' when it comes to this stuff now. I think that's how you really beat it, don't play the game.

bruthafez 8y ago
There is no "not playing the game." Exit the game and find yourself simultaneously entering a larger meta-game with the exact same social dynamics at play -- and this time it's even harder because you have even less knowledge of the game's mechanics. There is no winning, there is no losing, and there is no exiting the game without simultaneously entering a larger game that is even harder to comprehend. There is only play. What role do you choose? That's the only relevant question. You've already chosen a role unconsciously, and changing that role starts with conscious effort but must continue with years of unconscious functioning until you no longer recognize what you once considered to be "you." You look back and realize that one role is just as good as another, and the power of choice that felt so good to exert at the time holds zero value to look back and reflect upon. The MOPlike narcissism that fueled your choice has been obliterated and there is no narcissistic fuel left in your tank even to feel proud of your role-switching retroactively. Is the effort of choosing a new role for yourself worth the cost of assuming that role and rendering your prior role meaningless? Doubtful IMO. Few can change roles at all, and those who do neither regret nor relish their choice — they simply look back on the choice that once felt so good to make and go "Huh. I chose that once. Okay." Again: There is no winning, there is no losing, and there is no exiting the game without simultaneously entering a larger game that is even harder to comprehend. There is only play. You can switch roles within that play if you want, but the cost is non-zero and the benefit could be precisely zero. Good luck.
dreamcompiler 8y ago
Your comment has expanded my thinking about this issue. It's one thing to learn to identify sociopaths, but the next step is even tricker: Identifying their networks in the organization. You're absolutely right that sociopaths immediately surround themselves with a web of hangers-on, toadies, enforcers, and adoring fans which make them very difficult to take out. If you're the CEO charged with healing a toxic organization, it requires not only ejecting the sociopath, but also most of his or her entire support network probably needs to be ejected at the same time.

bruthafez 8y ago

There is no "not playing the game." Exit the game and find yourself simultaneously entering a larger meta-game with the exact same social dynamics at play -- and this time it's even harder because you have even less knowledge of the game's mechanics. There is no winning, there is no losing, and there is no exiting the game without simultaneously entering a larger game that is even harder to comprehend. There is only play. What role do you choose? That's the only relevant question. You've already chosen a role unconsciously, and changing that role starts with conscious effort but must continue with years of unconscious functioning until you no longer recognize what you once considered to be "you." You look back and realize that one role is just as good as another, and the power of choice that felt so good to exert at the time holds zero value to look back and reflect upon. The MOPlike narcissism that fueled your choice has been obliterated and there is no narcissistic fuel left in your tank even to feel proud of your role-switching retroactively. Is the effort of choosing a new role for yourself worth the cost of assuming that role and rendering your prior role meaningless? Doubtful IMO. Few can change roles at all, and those who do neither regret nor relish their choice — they simply look back on the choice that once felt so good to make and go "Huh. I chose that once. Okay." Again: There is no winning, there is no losing, and there is no exiting the game without simultaneously entering a larger game that is even harder to comprehend. There is only play. You can switch roles within that play if you want, but the cost is non-zero and the benefit could be precisely zero. Good luck.

dreamcompiler 8y ago

Your comment has expanded my thinking about this issue. It's one thing to learn to identify sociopaths, but the next step is even tricker: Identifying their networks in the organization. You're absolutely right that sociopaths immediately surround themselves with a web of hangers-on, toadies, enforcers, and adoring fans which make them very difficult to take out. If you're the CEO charged with healing a toxic organization, it requires not only ejecting the sociopath, but also most of his or her entire support network probably needs to be ejected at the same time.