> I agree disagreement is practically unavoidable, but a disagreement need not become a fight. To some extent I think we're just using the words differently.

> I agree disagreement is practically unavoidable, but a disagreement need not become a fight. To some extent I think we're just using the words differently. What I would say is that a fight doesn't have to get ugly. It's still a fight, though, if one person wants one thing to happen in the relationship, and the other wants something different to happen; it's more than just a factual disagreement — it requires resolution. This may be a matter of one person recognizing that they're being self-centered and backing down, or it may require both people pressing their arguments until a compromise or, better, a creative resolution is found. A fight doesn't require shouting, but it may require saying "I'm angry about this". Compassion and empathy are critical for fighting well, but they don't eliminate the need to fight, on occasion. Nor do fights have to be about the same things over and over — they do tend to be repetitive, though, when people fight dirty, as nothing is ever really resolved.