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> You missed one more option: "we can discuss a problem without involving emotions...” How exactly do you have no emotions in a marriage disagreement? Most arg
by dpark 8y ago
> You missed one more option: "we can discuss a problem without involving emotions...”
How exactly do you have no emotions in a marriage disagreement? Most arguments are about emotions. No one argues about things they aren’t emotional about (unless it’s a proxy argument for something they are emotional about).
- ivm 8y agoEmotions have causes that produce them, so you can ignore emotions and discuss causes. If the cause is something unavoidable like a bad weather, then a partner who's suffering from it needs compassion and support. There's nothing to fight about.
- dpark 8y agoThis makes no sense. No one fights about the weather And you cannot divorce emotions completely from the things that cause them. This is absurd, and akin to saying that someone with a phobia should just rationally analyze it and the problem will go away.
- ivm 8y agoIt's the basics of mindfulness: being aware of your emotions and not feeding them by redirecting your attention to something else. If both partners focus on being kind and understanding towards each other, their negative emotions can't get too strong.