7 ms·

"I don’t care what anyone says. Having money solves a lot of issues. There are a lot more “ands” than “ors” - we don’t have to argue about doing this or that -

"I don’t care what anyone says. Having money solves a lot of issues. There are a lot more “ands” than “ors” - we don’t have to argue about doing this or that - we can do both." Yes but the essence of a relationship is how problems get solved. You are avoiding the problems! That's cheating, but if you got the cash, all power to you!, just hope you guys don't disagree at some point, because cash doesn't solve EVERYTHING :)

scarface74 8y ago
There is more to the story.... I was both trying to dig my way out of the disaster of what was my real estate side business and trying to get my career back on track. I had a five year plan to do it. My wife and I discussed this before we got married. But talking through it in practice and living through it, is entirely different. I never gave her any reason not to trust me, but I didn’t “have a resume.” She trusted me intellectually but not emotionally while we were going through. 5 years, 4 jobs, $45K more in salary and a nice house in the burbs later. I’ve built a resume. This time around with 5 years under our belt, she has a lot more confidence in my leadership (for lack of a better word).
- laythea 8y ago
  yeah but you sound like she is an investor not a life love. I'm not in a my marble palace b the way, I have my own complications! :)
  - scarface74 8y ago
    She’s very much a life love. But a marriage is an investment. You invest your heart, your financial well being and if it goes bust, the other gets half. Marriage is a risky investment. We are both much better off in every way - including financially than we would be separately. Married couples statistically build wealth faster than single people. As an example, my wife working a stable government job with good benefits has allowed me to aggressively change jobs and chase after risky opportunities. When you are in your mid 30s and you are your second marriage (we both are) no matter how positive you are, you can’t help but to be a little more jaded starting out and you both have a lot to prove. It took a lot more of a leap of faith on her part to believe all of the things I was telling her and a lot more faith on my side that she would be thier through thick and thin. When you are in your thirties getting married, there is a lot more practicality and lot less looking through rose colored glasses.it took us both almost a decade to recover from our previous divorce. Neither one of us were willing to risk that happening again. We prioritize our marriage before anything else.
collyw 8y ago
Pretty sure I recently read that money is one of the main causes of relationship problems. If you can remove those problems it makes sense that you are more likely to have a better relationship.

scarface74 8y ago

There is more to the story.... I was both trying to dig my way out of the disaster of what was my real estate side business and trying to get my career back on track. I had a five year plan to do it. My wife and I discussed this before we got married. But talking through it in practice and living through it, is entirely different. I never gave her any reason not to trust me, but I didn’t “have a resume.” She trusted me intellectually but not emotionally while we were going through. 5 years, 4 jobs, $45K more in salary and a nice house in the burbs later. I’ve built a resume. This time around with 5 years under our belt, she has a lot more confidence in my leadership (for lack of a better word).

laythea 8y ago
yeah but you sound like she is an investor not a life love. I'm not in a my marble palace b the way, I have my own complications! :)
- scarface74 8y ago
  She’s very much a life love. But a marriage is an investment. You invest your heart, your financial well being and if it goes bust, the other gets half. Marriage is a risky investment. We are both much better off in every way - including financially than we would be separately. Married couples statistically build wealth faster than single people. As an example, my wife working a stable government job with good benefits has allowed me to aggressively change jobs and chase after risky opportunities. When you are in your mid 30s and you are your second marriage (we both are) no matter how positive you are, you can’t help but to be a little more jaded starting out and you both have a lot to prove. It took a lot more of a leap of faith on her part to believe all of the things I was telling her and a lot more faith on my side that she would be thier through thick and thin. When you are in your thirties getting married, there is a lot more practicality and lot less looking through rose colored glasses.it took us both almost a decade to recover from our previous divorce. Neither one of us were willing to risk that happening again. We prioritize our marriage before anything else.

collyw 8y ago

Pretty sure I recently read that money is one of the main causes of relationship problems. If you can remove those problems it makes sense that you are more likely to have a better relationship.