4 ms·
Kindness appears to me as the decisive element for a successful relationship. It’s not the only one of course since there are many other factors that must be ha
by Renaud 8y ago
Kindness appears to me as the decisive element for a successful relationship.
It’s not the only one of course since there are many other factors that must be handled successfully (managing sexual satisfaction, financial stability, common life goals, ability to raise kids, etc) but kindness to each other is a determinant; it’s the ‘sauce’ that binds everything together and make it hold.
And it must be reciprocated.
If you are in a relationship where there is no way to get that, and counselling isn’t helping enough, the future will most likely be bleak: full of accrued resentment, feelings of being trapped that get worse as time goes by, bitterness and pettiness will rule your life.
People always hope that things will get better and if the relationship is worth it, it’s essential to fight to overcome the struggles, but if there is no foundation of kindness, I’m convinced the only outcome is misery.
We shouldn’t stay with someone out of fear of being alone.
- mmsimanga 8y agoI want to add that kindness should be paired with gratitude. I know that people shouldn't expect anything back from kind acts but sometimes being kind isn't so easy. When someone is grateful for your kindness it makes things it easier. In long relationships showing gratitude is even more important.
- EGreg 8y agoAgreed. But you can do it the other way. You can be grateful FIRST for your partner and that will bring out your kindness.
- mmsimanga 8y agoNo disagreement with your sentiment. To expand on my parent comment, I find once off acts of kindness easy. I can buy you a coffee, heck even two or three. When we get to number 10 maybe 20 I start to have reservations and negative thoughts on where this is all headed. I think relationships start out the similarly. Both sides show their best side. Afterall which woman/man are you going to woo showing how selfish you can be. So we start off on our best behaviour, the honeymoon phase. Then to perpertuate the kindness and consideration we show in the honeymoon phase both sides have to show appreciation and gratitude. What complicates gratitude in my opinion is our expectation and how we value different acts of kindness. In large parts of Africa women are still expected do the cooking. It is easy for a man to think that task is her duty anyway so no need to be thankful. I think this is where problems start. You are absolutely right, we should be grateful first for the people in our lives.