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My story is not too different. I grew up in a dirt poor Asian village. We didn't have running water and for first few years of my life, not even a toilet. Paren

My story is not too different. I grew up in a dirt poor Asian village. We didn't have running water and for first few years of my life, not even a toilet. Parents taking active part in kids education was not common. I remember my parents bought be one toy when I was in second or third grade, and that was it. We used to get one pair of new clothes once every year during festivals. That's about it. Nobody ever celebrated birthdays. I don't even think I remembered my own birthday growing up. On top of that my parents fought like cats and dogs almost everyday. The only thing that helped me survive and succeed was my competitive nature and perseverance. I worked hard, and still do, for things I want. I am not trying to brag, but starting in abject poverty and then ending up in a one of the biggest American cities making $200k is surreal.

mmsimanga 8y ago
Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading your comment. I am genuinely glad it all worked out for you. I can identify with not celebrating birthdays and the lack of toys. As a result it feels awkward when people wish me happy birthday. I see the term surviorship bias quite a lot on HN and I sometimes feel it applies to me. When debates happen on Africa and poverty I tend not to be as sympathetic. I get impatient and rather want Africans to discuss how we can start building our own electric cars and solar power stations. Which is interesting because most of my cousins are still in the village and running water and healthcare are their biggest concerns. Having ended up in technology and living in a fairly modern city I have to consciously change mindset between understanding the latest features on Postgresql and applying my mind to getting basics such as runnning water to my village. I "made" it because I am stubborn, had parents who believe in education and because I hate being beholden to someone. I am beholden to by boss but hey we can't have everything.
- phakding 8y ago
  Thank you. I appreciate your sentiments. There's definitely a survivorship bias. It worked out for me with lot of hard work and few strokes of luck here and there. I know bunch of my classmates from grade school who couldn't do much with their lives because they lacked resources and opportunities. I understand your impatience with your countrymen, but without enough resources and opportunities, it's hard to make any progress for vast majority. I know Americans like to tell their less fortunate to pick themselves up with their bootstraps, but that's an almost impossible task, literally and figuratively.
- tkmunzwa 8y ago
  > I "made" it because I am stubborn, had parents who believe in education and because I hate being beholden to someone. ...and lucky. One African to another: it took me hard work, determination, and a whole lot of luck. It wasn't just one thing - but a chain of fortuitous events. My path is certainly not repeatable, so I'm certain my story is that of survivorship bias. I know lots of smarter/more hard-working people who didn't catch the same break that I did. Can you honestly say that you're that much better than your cousins?
  - mmsimanga 8y ago
    I must clarify what I mean by "made". I have a university degree and am a mid-level employee in a large corporate company. I don't have to worry about food, shelter and healthcare but I have to work for the next 20 years to pay off my bond. I am one of the millions of workers, not a millionaire. I am not exceptional. I agree with you on the determination and hard work. There is no substitute. On luck, do agree it plays a role. I think the first bit of luck is the parents you are born to. My grandmother had seven children. I have at last count between 50-60 cousins. Probably higher number of nephews and nieces. Some of my cousins are already grandparents. My dad was the last born so some of my cousins are almost as old as he is. Now back to luck, my observation looking at my large family is that the values and principles your parents instill in you have an impact. Some of my cousins believe success comes from witchcraft, so much so that there are tensions within the family as some branches accuse others of witchcraft at their expense. Having good parents even just one parent who doesn't poison your mind is the first bit of luck. The rest is how you use it. The second observation I have made is that kind people seem to make good parents. Hear me out. I have aunts in similar position, poor, uneducated and largely dependant on the land. When I visit, I have observed one will complain about everything and offer me nothing to eat or drink. Another aunt in a similar position will offer me whatever little she has. She will make it a point to collect some of the wild fruit I used to love as a kid. She does not act poor and helpless, she just acts like my aunt and treats me like a visitor not a savior. I suspect she doesn't view herself as being helpless and poor but she feels she can contribute in her own way. I think she instills these same values in her children. My observation is that children from such families tend to be more successful, at least this is the case in my extended family. Success is relative off course.
tomcam 8y ago
Uh, brag! That’s about as brag worthy as one could get. Wow! Please do a blog or something
- phakding 8y ago
  Ha! Can't tell if you are being sarcastic.
  - akeruu 8y ago
    It sounded genuinely honest to me and I find being proud of oneself when tough times where endured is pretty healthy.
    - tomcam 8y ago
      It was stories like this that made me know when I was young I could get out of my situation if I worked hard and used common sense
  - neonate 8y ago
    I'm sure it wasn't. You've described a path that most of us can't help but admire.
    - tomcam 8y ago
      I could not have said it better myself
    - phakding 8y ago
      :) Thanks. I wish I was a better writer. I thought about writing a fiction based on my life many times, but I am not even close to being a decent writer
      - GFischer 8y ago
        If you get a journalist interested, you can tell your story to him (or her). They do sometimes highlight things that wouldn't be what you would have, or distort things a bit, but it would get out there.
randall 8y ago
That's great! I hope you share your story with others who've come from similar backgrounds. It's great to know people can make it.

mmsimanga 8y ago

Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading your comment. I am genuinely glad it all worked out for you. I can identify with not celebrating birthdays and the lack of toys. As a result it feels awkward when people wish me happy birthday. I see the term surviorship bias quite a lot on HN and I sometimes feel it applies to me. When debates happen on Africa and poverty I tend not to be as sympathetic. I get impatient and rather want Africans to discuss how we can start building our own electric cars and solar power stations. Which is interesting because most of my cousins are still in the village and running water and healthcare are their biggest concerns. Having ended up in technology and living in a fairly modern city I have to consciously change mindset between understanding the latest features on Postgresql and applying my mind to getting basics such as runnning water to my village. I "made" it because I am stubborn, had parents who believe in education and because I hate being beholden to someone. I am beholden to by boss but hey we can't have everything.

phakding 8y ago
Thank you. I appreciate your sentiments. There's definitely a survivorship bias. It worked out for me with lot of hard work and few strokes of luck here and there. I know bunch of my classmates from grade school who couldn't do much with their lives because they lacked resources and opportunities. I understand your impatience with your countrymen, but without enough resources and opportunities, it's hard to make any progress for vast majority. I know Americans like to tell their less fortunate to pick themselves up with their bootstraps, but that's an almost impossible task, literally and figuratively.
tkmunzwa 8y ago
> I "made" it because I am stubborn, had parents who believe in education and because I hate being beholden to someone. ...and lucky. One African to another: it took me hard work, determination, and a whole lot of luck. It wasn't just one thing - but a chain of fortuitous events. My path is certainly not repeatable, so I'm certain my story is that of survivorship bias. I know lots of smarter/more hard-working people who didn't catch the same break that I did. Can you honestly say that you're that much better than your cousins?
- mmsimanga 8y ago
  I must clarify what I mean by "made". I have a university degree and am a mid-level employee in a large corporate company. I don't have to worry about food, shelter and healthcare but I have to work for the next 20 years to pay off my bond. I am one of the millions of workers, not a millionaire. I am not exceptional. I agree with you on the determination and hard work. There is no substitute. On luck, do agree it plays a role. I think the first bit of luck is the parents you are born to. My grandmother had seven children. I have at last count between 50-60 cousins. Probably higher number of nephews and nieces. Some of my cousins are already grandparents. My dad was the last born so some of my cousins are almost as old as he is. Now back to luck, my observation looking at my large family is that the values and principles your parents instill in you have an impact. Some of my cousins believe success comes from witchcraft, so much so that there are tensions within the family as some branches accuse others of witchcraft at their expense. Having good parents even just one parent who doesn't poison your mind is the first bit of luck. The rest is how you use it. The second observation I have made is that kind people seem to make good parents. Hear me out. I have aunts in similar position, poor, uneducated and largely dependant on the land. When I visit, I have observed one will complain about everything and offer me nothing to eat or drink. Another aunt in a similar position will offer me whatever little she has. She will make it a point to collect some of the wild fruit I used to love as a kid. She does not act poor and helpless, she just acts like my aunt and treats me like a visitor not a savior. I suspect she doesn't view herself as being helpless and poor but she feels she can contribute in her own way. I think she instills these same values in her children. My observation is that children from such families tend to be more successful, at least this is the case in my extended family. Success is relative off course.

tomcam 8y ago

Uh, brag! That’s about as brag worthy as one could get. Wow! Please do a blog or something

phakding 8y ago
Ha! Can't tell if you are being sarcastic.
- akeruu 8y ago
  It sounded genuinely honest to me and I find being proud of oneself when tough times where endured is pretty healthy.
  - tomcam 8y ago
    It was stories like this that made me know when I was young I could get out of my situation if I worked hard and used common sense
- neonate 8y ago
  I'm sure it wasn't. You've described a path that most of us can't help but admire.
  - tomcam 8y ago
    I could not have said it better myself
  - phakding 8y ago
    :) Thanks. I wish I was a better writer. I thought about writing a fiction based on my life many times, but I am not even close to being a decent writer
    - GFischer 8y ago
      If you get a journalist interested, you can tell your story to him (or her). They do sometimes highlight things that wouldn't be what you would have, or distort things a bit, but it would get out there.

randall 8y ago

That's great! I hope you share your story with others who've come from similar backgrounds. It's great to know people can make it.