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Any relationship could be coercive. But just because it's possible for a relationship to be coercive doesn't mean that it is going to be. I don't see what's wr

by tfha 8y ago

Any relationship could be coercive. But just because it's possible for a relationship to be coercive doesn't mean that it is going to be. I don't see what's wrong with a supervisor dating a suboridinate if both parties are consenting and the supervisor is not abusing their power. This taboo has never made much sense to me. The supervisor can already be abusive towards their subordinates. You don't need to introduce a relationship to introduce the possibility for abuse. Why does a relationship automatically become wrong when these balanced power dynamics are already in place?

danso 8y ago
It’s taboo because in practice, such relationships aren’t actually consenting, in the “no strings attached” sense. Keep in mind the potential problem isn’t just between the supervisor and the subordinate, but with the supervisor and their entire department. Because it’s natural to suspect the supervisor’s lover of getting preferential treatment in terms of pay/benefits/promotions. This suspicion tends to cause an unhealthy work environment.
ilikehurdles 8y ago
An employee in a relationship with the supervisor getting a promotion, objectively deserved or not, has the appearance of bias and favoritism. A supervisor having to make layoffs and keeping their spouse around is another such example.
dbt00 8y ago
Because it's not just impropriety, it's the appearance of impropriety. It erodes trust in the organization to treat employees fairly by their competence/skillset/behavior/etc.
stordoff 8y ago
Even if the supervisor isn't abusing their power, it can still be an issue. It can lead to people thinking "Is there going to be come back if I break up with this person?".
majormajor 8y ago
"The supervisor already, necessarily has a lot of power they could potentially abuse. So let's put some rules in place to check some of those potential abuses, and give us clear-and-fast reasons to discipline if needed." It's extremely poor judgment to date some that reports through you. "Power corrupts"-type stories are everywhere. Don't trust yourself to be the perfect exception; have some self-control. Or, if you must, move to a different role or job! You're the one in the scenario with more options. And remember: most relationships end! Then it gets even messier if you work together directly, especially if they report to you. You break up, you can't work together well, now what happens? IME, nothing good for the person in the management role.

by tfha 8y ago

danso 8y ago

It’s taboo because in practice, such relationships aren’t actually consenting, in the “no strings attached” sense. Keep in mind the potential problem isn’t just between the supervisor and the subordinate, but with the supervisor and their entire department. Because it’s natural to suspect the supervisor’s lover of getting preferential treatment in terms of pay/benefits/promotions. This suspicion tends to cause an unhealthy work environment.

ilikehurdles 8y ago

An employee in a relationship with the supervisor getting a promotion, objectively deserved or not, has the appearance of bias and favoritism. A supervisor having to make layoffs and keeping their spouse around is another such example.

dbt00 8y ago

Because it's not just impropriety, it's the appearance of impropriety. It erodes trust in the organization to treat employees fairly by their competence/skillset/behavior/etc.

stordoff 8y ago

Even if the supervisor isn't abusing their power, it can still be an issue. It can lead to people thinking "Is there going to be come back if I break up with this person?".

majormajor 8y ago

"The supervisor already, necessarily has a lot of power they could potentially abuse. So let's put some rules in place to check some of those potential abuses, and give us clear-and-fast reasons to discipline if needed." It's extremely poor judgment to date some that reports through you. "Power corrupts"-type stories are everywhere. Don't trust yourself to be the perfect exception; have some self-control. Or, if you must, move to a different role or job! You're the one in the scenario with more options. And remember: most relationships end! Then it gets even messier if you work together directly, especially if they report to you. You break up, you can't work together well, now what happens? IME, nothing good for the person in the management role.