3 ms·

I suppose those monogamous pair-bonds should be heterosexual only, too? Please lay off with the attempt to normalize any but your preferred flavor as deviant a

• toasterlovin 8y ago
  You are arguing against stuff I didn't say. I would guess that monogamy works best for most of the people most of the time, but there's tremendous variation in temperament and personality in our species, so do what works for you! I was making an observation about organizations that promote non-monogamy and communal living. They are almost invariably cults, regardless of how they present themselves to the outside world.
  • rosser 8y ago
    Yeah: >> The monogamous pair bonds _are_ the coercive bullshit. > It's like Churchill said about democracy: It's the worst system, except for all the others. That's totally about coercive organizational dynamics, and not merely moralizing.
    • toasterlovin 8y ago
      Again, I am making a statement about what I think is the overall best system (for most people, most of the time; and admitting that it is imperfect while I'm at it!). In no way have I advocated for forcing that system on people.
      • rosser 8y ago
        You only get to decide what's the best system for you. But that's not even the point behind my criticizing your approach. People with non-mainstream lifestyles are already more often than not marginalized, sometimes to death. Please don't make that worse for them. You have no idea how alienating it can be to have something as closely tied to one's identity as one's sexuality generally is hand-waved about by people whose words carry clear disapproval. If you did have an inkling of what that kind of Othering felt like, I don't think you'd talk that way so casually, or without qualification.
        • toasterlovin 8y ago
          I'm bailing on this thread, but my accounting of what happened here is that you repeatedly mischaracterized my position (even accusing me of homophobia, which is incredibly insulting, btw), while I calmly re-iterated my position. Given that, I don't really see the need to change what I'm doing.
          • rosser 8y ago
            I did not accuse you of homophobia, though that is a legitimate read of my comment, as phrased. I took your position of normalizing "traditional" human sexual dynamics and pointed out (in a manner admittedly somewhat motivated by, "Oh, god. Not this shit again...") the slippery slope you're treading. If you feel I mischaracterized your point, I apologize. It was not my intent. I just have entirely too many queer and non-mainstream friends whose lives have been terribly adversely affected by other people telling them the myriad ways they're wrong, not to be a little reactive to it. Your overall point isn't wrong. How you phrased it (and how I phrased my response) could have been done in a way that was more cognizant of how broad the brush you're swinging might seem to people getting splattered as you swing it. Is that an unreasonable ask?