Welcome the the real world! ;) > You aren't good enough to land a job in one of the cool companies you admire. Cool companies are often overrated. Working the

Welcome the the real world! ;) > You aren't good enough to land a job in one of the cool companies you admire. Cool companies are often overrated. Working there can be a grind just like everywhere else. > You look back to all the money spent helping your family (who is poor and live in a developing country). I understand this very well. But you will be of no use to them if you are dangling from the end of a rope or living under a hedge. Own oxygen mask first. I see this a lot in the filipino community here in UK. I believe the solution to this is you have a set amount each month that goes to you savings - that money just doesn't exist - not even to you. It has to be like you never earned it. That becomes your critical savings. You then have another fixed amount each month that goes to the family slush fund. I don't know of any other way. You have to drawn the line somewhere. First things first. 1) You have to make the best of your current job. Talk to the other engineers and find out what they love about the job. Make new friends at work. Talk to people about cool tech or outside of work activities. Put yourself out there a bit more. Find a new tool that gets you enthusiastic again. Watch a few videos that inspire you. 2) Plan your weekends. You mention family. See your family on the weekends. Take up a new hobby that will get you out in the fresh air - long distance walking is an awesome hobby (for example https://www.ldwa.org.uk https://www.ldwa.org.uk) and you can do it alone or preferably with some guys from work, or other friends. 3) You are probably a bit depressed. Maybe discuss with your doctor. 4) These depressive cycles tend to be self-reinforcing. You need to break out of the negative thought patterns - CBT is very, very useful for helping with that. I use CBT all the time now - even though I'm not depressed as such. It's actually fun. 5) I wouldn't worry about side projects if you are pushed for time. Side projects can add a bit of stress - oh I really need to write that blog post. Just let it go and, for now, focus on getting your job back on track as that's what pays the bills. It seems like you are putting quite a bit of pressure on yourself. 6) Easier said than done but a quick mental list before you sleep of the things you are grateful for can help. Good luck!