I'd guess that most of HN is in roughly your position- enamored with the idea of a startup but without the savings to start one up, or enthusiastic about Big Na

I'd guess that most of HN is in roughly your position- enamored with the idea of a startup but without the savings to start one up, or enthusiastic about Big Name tech companies but without the background or geographic location to get in. First and foremost, understand that your life is fine; you're a software developer with a job that, albeit boring, is stable and makes good money. You're supporting your family. Most people would give a limb to be in that position. Your problems are psychological. Consider seeing a therapist; it sounds like you need more perspective on your own life than a bunch of commenters on HN could give you. But for this commenter's two cents; if you do continue looking for a (even) better job, try to find one that gives you better work-life balance. 20 hours for work+sleeping+commute? A good situation should see that down to 17, tops- 8 for work, 1 for commute, 8 for sleep. Moving closer to work, to reduce commute, has been cited as one of the greatest happiness-enhancing life changes one can make. The 8 hour workday is poo-poo'd by HN because it's full of SV workaholics, but its an available and healthy choice outside that scene. (Notably, either working for a Big Name company or doing a startup would make your life much worse in this regard!) If sleep is eating up the time, consider getting tested for sleep apnea (which can also have complications such as depression... natch!) With 7 hours of free time per day, rather than 4, you'd be in a much better position to get your feet under yourself, both psychologically and practically. (And perhaps, eventually, to make a better prototype for what you want to do long-term.)