I'm 10 years older than you. When I was 26 I was dealing with the same questions you're facing now. For me, it turned into an obsessive compulsive behavior - I

I'm 10 years older than you. When I was 26 I was dealing with the same questions you're facing now. For me, it turned into an obsessive compulsive behavior - I had very frequent panic attacks and was constantly worried about my health (even though I was 100% healthy). It was a very dark time for me, and the only thing that helped me was antidepressants. No therapy, self help books or meditation. I also discovered that some people have negative opinions about antidepressants based very limited interaction with it. I tried at least 4-5 different meds until I found that one that works good for me, with minimal side effects. Take your mental health seriously, it is as important as your physical health. Panic attacks are not something that should be ignored. Consult a therapist or a psychiatrist. The questions that bother you have no real answer. We're all going to die, and loose people that are dear to us. The only thing you can control is how you live with it.