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No it doesn't, polyamory makes the sex market winner take all which is primed by the premium women put on more attractive mates, or discount they put on less at

No it doesn't, polyamory makes the sex market winner take all which is primed by the premium women put on more attractive mates, or discount they put on less attractive ones. Because their preferences skew you would see fewer men with more women, which is the opposite of what you claim will happen. Try thinking it through!

mercutio2 8y ago
This has not been my personal observation of how it works, at all. Rather, this reads as a dehumanizing portrait of women as fickle pursuers of status. How I actually observe it working is that men who are open, thoughtful, emotionally vulnerable, and communicate without animosity can have lots of intimate partners. Possibly not the specific partners they had their sights set on, though, which is where the “dehumanizing” part comes in.
- bordercases 8y ago
  Personal observation? Shucks. What do you think is distinct about your local sample (your network) that would not make it representative? What about all the data that dating websites have been sitting on for ages? https://blogs.sas.com/content/sastraining/2014/10/16/how-do-men-rate-women-on-dating-websites-part-2/ https://blogs.sas.com/content/sastraining/2014/10/16/how-do-... Observations like that have been rotating in that market for awhile, including with big players like OKCupid. Women are picky, men are not, but with contraception women can afford to share, resulting in skew. What you're observing is the criterion for attraction looks like they're grounded in compassion, but that doesn't serve as an explanation against the distribution and is instead subservient to it. For example, it could potentially reflect to what extent men are compassionate is somehow on a Pareto distribution, which isn't out of the question. But considering that this trend holds on websites such as Tinder as well as OKCupid, it seems to be general to all female preference regardless if they're going for carnal or intimate pleasures.
  - mercutio2 8y ago
    Dating websites are themselves not representative of human interactions. I’ll happily concede that if you restrict yourself to the intersection of men looking for casual encounters with similar aged women looking for casual encounters, you’ll find winner-takes-all effects. But there are lots of women not looking for casual encounters, and I don’t accept the proposition that polyamorous women are removing themselves from the dating pool for less than perfect men. It appears to be very much the opposite. It’s just that casual encounters are really, really different from polyamory. “Willing to have casual sex with multiple partners” != “Interested in a polyamorous relationship”.
    - bordercases 8y ago
      How many of your partners are shared with other men? Alternately, if you're female, how many male partners do you have? There is one unique alternative here and that's the landscape of emotional needs is somehow much more diverse than the landscape of physical needs. Then it would make sense to maximize among many partners as it's unlikely that a single individual can have all the skills necessary to satisfy a long list of independent needs. Although even then I'm skeptical, the polyamorous couples I've seen don't seem to last long (~5 years) and eventually the male chooses or vice versa.

mercutio2 8y ago

This has not been my personal observation of how it works, at all. Rather, this reads as a dehumanizing portrait of women as fickle pursuers of status. How I actually observe it working is that men who are open, thoughtful, emotionally vulnerable, and communicate without animosity can have lots of intimate partners. Possibly not the specific partners they had their sights set on, though, which is where the “dehumanizing” part comes in.

bordercases 8y ago
Personal observation? Shucks. What do you think is distinct about your local sample (your network) that would not make it representative? What about all the data that dating websites have been sitting on for ages? https://blogs.sas.com/content/sastraining/2014/10/16/how-do-men-rate-women-on-dating-websites-part-2/ https://blogs.sas.com/content/sastraining/2014/10/16/how-do-... Observations like that have been rotating in that market for awhile, including with big players like OKCupid. Women are picky, men are not, but with contraception women can afford to share, resulting in skew. What you're observing is the criterion for attraction looks like they're grounded in compassion, but that doesn't serve as an explanation against the distribution and is instead subservient to it. For example, it could potentially reflect to what extent men are compassionate is somehow on a Pareto distribution, which isn't out of the question. But considering that this trend holds on websites such as Tinder as well as OKCupid, it seems to be general to all female preference regardless if they're going for carnal or intimate pleasures.
- mercutio2 8y ago
  Dating websites are themselves not representative of human interactions. I’ll happily concede that if you restrict yourself to the intersection of men looking for casual encounters with similar aged women looking for casual encounters, you’ll find winner-takes-all effects. But there are lots of women not looking for casual encounters, and I don’t accept the proposition that polyamorous women are removing themselves from the dating pool for less than perfect men. It appears to be very much the opposite. It’s just that casual encounters are really, really different from polyamory. “Willing to have casual sex with multiple partners” != “Interested in a polyamorous relationship”.
  - bordercases 8y ago
    How many of your partners are shared with other men? Alternately, if you're female, how many male partners do you have? There is one unique alternative here and that's the landscape of emotional needs is somehow much more diverse than the landscape of physical needs. Then it would make sense to maximize among many partners as it's unlikely that a single individual can have all the skills necessary to satisfy a long list of independent needs. Although even then I'm skeptical, the polyamorous couples I've seen don't seem to last long (~5 years) and eventually the male chooses or vice versa.