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People aren't being very fair to you here and I'm flat out embarrassed by HN. The most relevant thing is that you're going through something terrible. If I had
by hluska 8y ago
People aren't being very fair to you here and I'm flat out embarrassed by HN.
The most relevant thing is that you're going through something terrible. If I had anything, I'd give it to you, but I've had a very tough year.
The best I can offer is that I'm genuinely sorry. Not only for the way you've been treated here, but for everything that has happened.
I've had some good friends go down the homelessness path and the one thing I've heard from all of them is that, no matter what, you've got to have some sort of fixed address. Over the next few days, you've got two big priorities:
1.) Finding shelter.
2.) Finding someone who will let you get your mail sent to their address.
I wouldn't normally suggest this because it's rather manipulative, but there's a technique called door in the face persuasion. Your first ask is going to be, "Can we stay on your couch for {{period of time you'll stick to}}?" And, if you hear no or see a pained expression on that person's face, your next ask is, "Can I change my address to yours so I can keep getting my mail?"
Vast swaths of North American culture assume you have an address. It's amazing how hard things will get when you no longer have one.
If you're in the Denver area, check out the Denver Voice. It's a street newspaper and street papers are a great way to make money!
- gerbilly 8y ago>People aren't being very fair to you here and I'm flat out embarrassed by HN. Me too, it probably the just world hypothesis at work. Hang in there and don't listen to the negative talk. They cannot possibly understand what you are going through, because they aren't going through it. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just-world_hypothesis https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just-world_hypothesis
- hankhill 8y agoIf there's one thing HN hates and has absolutely zero of, it's empathy.
- rpedela 8y agoWhat about a PO box? Would that work?
- hluska 8y agoI have never been homeless, so my experience and perspective are severely limited here. A PO box would work in a pinch, but I can see a couple of issues. The first one is that PO boxes can be expensive and temporary homelessness is already very expensive. Realistically, to stay in a state of temporary homelessness, you need to be in a situation where you can apply for jobs, go to interviews and hop online or on the phone for quick calls. That requires things like a gym membership (for a shower), car parking/maintenance/gas, food and other basics. The example I always like to give is to ask a question. How confident would you feel going into a job interview looking like you slept in your clothes because you did? Temporary homelessness is also very time consuming. Simply finding a place to hang out is almost a full-time job. With a PO box, you've got to keep paying the rent and find time to go to your box, pay rent, etc. The second one is one of human contact and love. I've never been homeless but I have some good friends who have been. The lack of pride is already immense. But, apparently, it can also be incredibly lonely, particularly if you're mentally healthier than the mean. Having someone from your past who meets up with you once a week and gives you your mail is a powerful bit of human contact.