3 ms·

This idea comes from a stereotypically female perspective. Men typically form stronger relationships with other men through shared struggles -- playing on a te

This idea comes from a stereotypically female perspective. Men typically form stronger relationships with other men through shared struggles -- playing on a team together, going hunting, building something, etc. Working together and not complaining builds trust. To say that the female approach of long emotional talks and displays is objectively superior is not justified. Ask one of your friends who works in a female dominated workplace what it's like. They might prefer a bit more stoicism, less emotional displays, and more working together without complaint.

fjsolwmv 8y ago
Being physically aggressive is not a more healthy way to handle emotions than acknowledging emotions exist. The rest of your post is non sequitur. Improving the unhealthy parts of male life does not mean making everyone stereotypically female.
watwut 8y ago
The practical issue is that men commit suicide more often and it seems like they suffer loneliness more often, especially at later age. The shared struggle only socialization does now work at all when you are sick or in bad situation. They also end up dependent on their wifes for keeping social network, which works until it does not. They also seem to vent their frustration in bigger angry blow ups which harms a.) themselves, b.) their families, c.) mostly other men who are most likely victims of their violence. "Not complaining" is literally about having taboo you cant talk about - it is not the same as being content. So, they lash out instead. Men do have emotional displays, like constantly. If you work in tech, I doubt you never seen someone lash out over petty difference in coding style, change of requirements, completely loose it on analyst etc. "The lack of social skills" is often euphemism for "can keep control over negative emotions". The other interesting issue I see is that women are according to stereotypes both a.) more cooperative and easier to work with and b.) horrible to work with - depending precisely on which variant makes women inferior in the context.
- theatrics109 8y ago
  If you work in tech, you're not dealing with typical masculine behavior. Much of the anti-male sentiment in tech is from men (from the perspective of women) getting/internalizing the rewards of being successful without acting like a successful man. Men normally are able to control their negative emotions, but you're right that women can be dichotomous, especially in tech. You can predict it if you know why and how they got into the industry.
  - watwut 8y ago
    There is no more manly profession then working in tech for collage educated people. People are literally choosing tech because, and I am quoting here, "it is good job for a boy". I mean, it is good job, but boys are not loosing masculinity by doing tech at all. Quite the opposite. Men in tech are somewhat more introverted then the rest. They are not more emotional nor feminine then actors, writers, sales or literally any profession. Speaking of groups, the men with least in control are those who end up in jail and similar troubles.
    - selimthegrim 8y ago
      I'm assuming this is India you're talking about?
    - to_bpr 8y ago
      >There is no more manly profession then working in tech for collage educated people. Please state the culture for context. This is absolutely not the case in the West.
- ravenstine 8y ago
  Is this the fault of men or a largely "feminized" modern environment? In other words, an environment where women are safer than ever(which I fully support) is incidentally one with very few ways for men to form social bonds with each other; there are very few ways for most men to face shared struggles, at least without being told that their arenas are "too aggressive" for women. > The other interesting issue I see is that women are according to stereotypes both a.) more cooperative and easier to work with and b.) horrible to work with - depending precisely on which variant makes women inferior in the context. I challenge the very concept that women are more cooperative; they simply cooperate differently from men. When men are overtly challenging one another, they are usually cooperating in the sense that they are playing by the same hierarchical rules. Women cooperate through covertly challenging each other while overtly playing by rules that limit the amount of displayed aggression and promote hospitable behavior. Both have their advantages and disadvantages, but the fact that men tend to be more aggressive to each other is not to say that they aren't very cooperative with one another; if that weren't the case, men on average would be far more underhanded and circumvent rules on a regular basis.

fjsolwmv 8y ago

Being physically aggressive is not a more healthy way to handle emotions than acknowledging emotions exist. The rest of your post is non sequitur. Improving the unhealthy parts of male life does not mean making everyone stereotypically female.

watwut 8y ago

The practical issue is that men commit suicide more often and it seems like they suffer loneliness more often, especially at later age. The shared struggle only socialization does now work at all when you are sick or in bad situation. They also end up dependent on their wifes for keeping social network, which works until it does not. They also seem to vent their frustration in bigger angry blow ups which harms a.) themselves, b.) their families, c.) mostly other men who are most likely victims of their violence. "Not complaining" is literally about having taboo you cant talk about - it is not the same as being content. So, they lash out instead. Men do have emotional displays, like constantly. If you work in tech, I doubt you never seen someone lash out over petty difference in coding style, change of requirements, completely loose it on analyst etc. "The lack of social skills" is often euphemism for "can keep control over negative emotions". The other interesting issue I see is that women are according to stereotypes both a.) more cooperative and easier to work with and b.) horrible to work with - depending precisely on which variant makes women inferior in the context.

theatrics109 8y ago
If you work in tech, you're not dealing with typical masculine behavior. Much of the anti-male sentiment in tech is from men (from the perspective of women) getting/internalizing the rewards of being successful without acting like a successful man. Men normally are able to control their negative emotions, but you're right that women can be dichotomous, especially in tech. You can predict it if you know why and how they got into the industry.
- watwut 8y ago
  There is no more manly profession then working in tech for collage educated people. People are literally choosing tech because, and I am quoting here, "it is good job for a boy". I mean, it is good job, but boys are not loosing masculinity by doing tech at all. Quite the opposite. Men in tech are somewhat more introverted then the rest. They are not more emotional nor feminine then actors, writers, sales or literally any profession. Speaking of groups, the men with least in control are those who end up in jail and similar troubles.
  - selimthegrim 8y ago
    I'm assuming this is India you're talking about?
  - to_bpr 8y ago
    >There is no more manly profession then working in tech for collage educated people. Please state the culture for context. This is absolutely not the case in the West.
ravenstine 8y ago
Is this the fault of men or a largely "feminized" modern environment? In other words, an environment where women are safer than ever(which I fully support) is incidentally one with very few ways for men to form social bonds with each other; there are very few ways for most men to face shared struggles, at least without being told that their arenas are "too aggressive" for women. > The other interesting issue I see is that women are according to stereotypes both a.) more cooperative and easier to work with and b.) horrible to work with - depending precisely on which variant makes women inferior in the context. I challenge the very concept that women are more cooperative; they simply cooperate differently from men. When men are overtly challenging one another, they are usually cooperating in the sense that they are playing by the same hierarchical rules. Women cooperate through covertly challenging each other while overtly playing by rules that limit the amount of displayed aggression and promote hospitable behavior. Both have their advantages and disadvantages, but the fact that men tend to be more aggressive to each other is not to say that they aren't very cooperative with one another; if that weren't the case, men on average would be far more underhanded and circumvent rules on a regular basis.