I had to find a therapist for someone I know who was unable to do it for themselves. It's difficult; even referrals are hard because, as one therapist explained

I had to find a therapist for someone I know who was unable to do it for themselves. It's difficult; even referrals are hard because, as one therapist explained to me, therapists don't ever see each other practicing their craft and what they do is confidential. A quick answer: First, expect to shop around; odds are against the first one being a good fit, but be patient - a good fit is out there. Ask the HR departments at your employer or at large companies; tell them your difficulty in finding a therapist and I'd expect they would be happy to help - it's free and easy for them. Their referrals may charge high rates but hopefully they've been vetted by the feedback of numerous employees (though of course those therapists might also serve HR priorities - HR may prefer one visit for medications to a year of talk therapy). Longer answer: I looked into it, doing research and talking to numerous therapists. Here's what I understand: * It's the singer not the song. A widely accepted belief (I don't know how widely, but more than one professional confirmed it and I've seen research[0]) is that success depends much more on the therapist than on their technique. Also, good therapists have a variety of tools that they adapt to you. IMHO if they are selling their technique ('as seen in my seminar / published in my book!'), that's a bad sign. * Rapport between you and the therapist is most important. If it's not there, move on. You need to feel comfortable and trust them enough that you can be completely open, even about the things you don't admit to yourself, and to not feel threatened when they say things that hit a nerve. * Characteristics of a good therapist (leading to good rapport): 1) Empathy, 2) Positive regard (toward you), and 3) Congruence (the therapist's congruence with their own emotions) * Characteristics of a successful patient: 1) Feel safe with the therapist; 2) Trust the therapist; 3) Ready for real change. * Find someone with experience treating your problems. As you don't have a diagnosis, that can be tricky, but a trial session with a few therapists can give you direction. Finally, I found this to be very helpful and showed it to a professional who said it was valid: https://web.archive.org/web/20161102164453/http://thomastberry.com/the-ideal-therapist-and-the-troublesome-client-dr-melfi-and-tony-soprano/ https://web.archive.org/web/20161102164453/http://thomastber... Good luck! I hope that's helpful. [0] Some research is discussed here in the article linked above.