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> I have no idea why you are framing it that way I think it's because you said: > [Regarding therapy:] spending an hour or more every week digging around in t

by a1369209993 8y ago

> I have no idea why you are framing it that way I think it's because you said: > [Regarding therapy:] spending an hour or more every week digging around in the dirt of my past [...] was keeping me miserable. That sounds like at least the later portions were a bad experience. Also, I suspect a lot of people here have a default assumption that any therapy experience is bad unless otherwise noted, but the above quote is probably the main factor.

DoreenMichele 8y ago
It wasn't a negative experience. Therapy was effective. But at some point I realized that continuing to invest so much time in a negative past experience was giving over my present and future time to said negative experience and what I wanted was to invest my time in positive experiences, to pursue something enjoyable and life enhancing. Long experience suggests that it won't matter how positively I frame it or how carefully I say it, some people will insist on viewing my statements and me negatively -- as has been discussed elsewhere in this very thread. And I don't plan to discuss this detail further.
- ThePadawan 8y ago
  I agree and went through similar experiences. I will however mention for the other readers that not all modes and schools of therapy see "digging up the past" as essential, in fact I believe this is a point of contention. Methods such as Cognitive Behavioral Theory, I believe, focus much more on "OK, but how does that influence your behavior? Should it?"
  - DoreenMichele 8y ago
    I was in couple's counseling briefly with my husband. He also was very briefly in therapy on his own. He was extremely introverted. He hated telling all this private stuff to a counselor. One day, I told him "You don't have to go to therapy. I don't care if you go to therapy or not. Therapy is a means to an end. Therapy per se doesn't matter. I only want our marriage to be better. I don't care how that happens." So he quit both his own therapy and couple's counseling. And he was promptly and permanently a better husband. There are many paths.
    - loco5niner 8y ago
      Great point. As a fellow introvert, I think I would also be better off.

DoreenMichele 8y ago

It wasn't a negative experience. Therapy was effective. But at some point I realized that continuing to invest so much time in a negative past experience was giving over my present and future time to said negative experience and what I wanted was to invest my time in positive experiences, to pursue something enjoyable and life enhancing. Long experience suggests that it won't matter how positively I frame it or how carefully I say it, some people will insist on viewing my statements and me negatively -- as has been discussed elsewhere in this very thread. And I don't plan to discuss this detail further.

ThePadawan 8y ago
I agree and went through similar experiences. I will however mention for the other readers that not all modes and schools of therapy see "digging up the past" as essential, in fact I believe this is a point of contention. Methods such as Cognitive Behavioral Theory, I believe, focus much more on "OK, but how does that influence your behavior? Should it?"
- DoreenMichele 8y ago
  I was in couple's counseling briefly with my husband. He also was very briefly in therapy on his own. He was extremely introverted. He hated telling all this private stuff to a counselor. One day, I told him "You don't have to go to therapy. I don't care if you go to therapy or not. Therapy is a means to an end. Therapy per se doesn't matter. I only want our marriage to be better. I don't care how that happens." So he quit both his own therapy and couple's counseling. And he was promptly and permanently a better husband. There are many paths.
  - loco5niner 8y ago
    Great point. As a fellow introvert, I think I would also be better off.