3 ms·

Let them downvote you. You're absolutely spot on. I suspect the downvote is because you brought up gender. You aren't supposed to point out that there are diff

by dsnuh 8y ago

Let them downvote you. You're absolutely spot on. I suspect the downvote is because you brought up gender. You aren't supposed to point out that there are differences in the way men and women are treated upon leaving a marriage.

lazyasciiart 8y ago
Well, that and because he appears to be saying "this happened to me and therefore it happens 100% of the time to everyone", which isn't true.
- poulsbohemian 8y ago
  Did I anywhere use the words "this happens 100% of the time"? No, I shared a personal reflection, plus would be happy to rattle off about ten more examples if you'd like. Once I get my life back in order, I intend to petition the Washington State Legislature, because I am not happy about laws that enabled my nut-job ex to use the legal system to her whims while leaving me on the edge of bankruptcy. I would like to believe this was not the legislature or courts intents, yet I have at this point read many accounts of exactly this scenario. So quit putting words in my mouth that I didn't use and cite some of your own counter-facts if you feel otherwise.
  - dsnuh 8y ago
    I'm in California, but facing much the same situation. I've said it before and I will say it again... I think people are ignorant of divorce laws and simply do not realize how much financial damage a motivated (i.e. nut-job) ex can get cause if they decide they want to. To give an example, I have my 2 kids almost 50/50 split custody (I have them 6pm Thursday to 6pm Sunday) and had my child support set at $1700 per month. This was on top of an additional $1800 per month of spousal support, which I had to give up my 401k to pay off because I couldn't afford that much monthly expense). My ex makes variable income of $3,500 to $5000 per month working part time as a wedding photographer. My wages are garnished, and if I ever have a change in circumstances, I will have to go through a lengthy court process just for a shot at that. In the meantime, I would be responsible for the original amount plus interest until such time as the court saw fit to change it. I'm a good father. I love my kids and want to support them. The way the system is currently structured, if you made more money than your spouse during the marriage, you have to provide the same "lifestyle" as you had during the marriage to your children, regardless if they are in your care or not. I struggle to make ends meet, while my ex is able to live comfortably, take them on numerous expensive vacations, etc. because so much of my income is given to the other party as child support, but can spent as they see fit.

by dsnuh 8y ago

lazyasciiart 8y ago

Well, that and because he appears to be saying "this happened to me and therefore it happens 100% of the time to everyone", which isn't true.

poulsbohemian 8y ago
Did I anywhere use the words "this happens 100% of the time"? No, I shared a personal reflection, plus would be happy to rattle off about ten more examples if you'd like. Once I get my life back in order, I intend to petition the Washington State Legislature, because I am not happy about laws that enabled my nut-job ex to use the legal system to her whims while leaving me on the edge of bankruptcy. I would like to believe this was not the legislature or courts intents, yet I have at this point read many accounts of exactly this scenario. So quit putting words in my mouth that I didn't use and cite some of your own counter-facts if you feel otherwise.
- dsnuh 8y ago
  I'm in California, but facing much the same situation. I've said it before and I will say it again... I think people are ignorant of divorce laws and simply do not realize how much financial damage a motivated (i.e. nut-job) ex can get cause if they decide they want to. To give an example, I have my 2 kids almost 50/50 split custody (I have them 6pm Thursday to 6pm Sunday) and had my child support set at $1700 per month. This was on top of an additional $1800 per month of spousal support, which I had to give up my 401k to pay off because I couldn't afford that much monthly expense). My ex makes variable income of $3,500 to $5000 per month working part time as a wedding photographer. My wages are garnished, and if I ever have a change in circumstances, I will have to go through a lengthy court process just for a shot at that. In the meantime, I would be responsible for the original amount plus interest until such time as the court saw fit to change it. I'm a good father. I love my kids and want to support them. The way the system is currently structured, if you made more money than your spouse during the marriage, you have to provide the same "lifestyle" as you had during the marriage to your children, regardless if they are in your care or not. I struggle to make ends meet, while my ex is able to live comfortably, take them on numerous expensive vacations, etc. because so much of my income is given to the other party as child support, but can spent as they see fit.