Good for you for being willing to admit that. If you have that level of crippling anxiety you need some medication asap. I speak from experience and I know how

Good for you for being willing to admit that. If you have that level of crippling anxiety you need some medication asap. I speak from experience and I know how hard it will be to take that step (or any step at all), but things will get worse if you don't. The easiest way to do this is also a bit daunting but necessary. Go to your local hospital now. Tell them you are having endless and crippling panic attacks. Idk how the Japanese are about prescribing this kind of stuff but you must get a script for something like a Ativan or Klonopin. The goal is to reduce your anxiety temporarily- long enough to enable you to find a way forward with a clearer head. I know you will read this and not want to do it. Or you'll say to yourself that you know you should but then you won't. Summon whatever will you have and do it now. Just shut off your computer and get up and walk out the door.