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Thanks for the invitation, I would love to take you up on it but Tokyo is a long way away from where I live. I've actually had multiple freelance contracts loc

Thanks for the invitation, I would love to take you up on it but Tokyo is a long way away from where I live. I've actually had multiple freelance contracts locally but I've never managed to do any of them really. I had one making a business database of properties for a realtor where I couldn't make any progress and just stopped contacting them. I want to email them to apologise but I can never bring myself to do it.

staticautomatic 8y ago
Good for you for being willing to admit that. If you have that level of crippling anxiety you need some medication asap. I speak from experience and I know how hard it will be to take that step (or any step at all), but things will get worse if you don't. The easiest way to do this is also a bit daunting but necessary. Go to your local hospital now. Tell them you are having endless and crippling panic attacks. Idk how the Japanese are about prescribing this kind of stuff but you must get a script for something like a Ativan or Klonopin. The goal is to reduce your anxiety temporarily- long enough to enable you to find a way forward with a clearer head. I know you will read this and not want to do it. Or you'll say to yourself that you know you should but then you won't. Summon whatever will you have and do it now. Just shut off your computer and get up and walk out the door.
murukesh_s 8y ago
I have one suggestion if you are getting contracts you are good at selling. Why don't you sub contract the work then? Or work as a salesperson for outsourcing companies in India or even US?
- dkersten 8y ago
  I was thinking the exact same thing. Hell, I’d almost take some off his hands haha
cattlefarmer 8y ago
If you're located in the Kansai region I can introduce you to a counsellor who speaks English.
anonymous809 8y ago
If you frequently stop contacting people and are remorseful but can't get yourself to take action (it sounds like you have this issue) and have had problems "escaping" other situations (thinking of suicide or just leaving the country, etc.); try to reframe your situation. There's a couple of ways to think about this: 1. What's the worst thing that could happen to you if you disappoint someone?...really, there's not much. Also, worse-case scenario to anything in life is you get punished with jail and/or fines. You are in control of your destiny in these cases. Don't think that there's no way out...there's always a way out. You sound like someone that likes challenges - think of this as a challenge that you have to solve. In the end; for what you have invested, what's another $5k (for a good accountant and/or house-keeping of documents) if it solves your headaches and you can stay in Japan? Try to find a mentor or someone who has been in similar situations to you. The "escape problems" that you suffer from are caused by anxiety and/or depression. It will take a while to train your brain to think differently and come to recognize these situations as they happen. Try to do a bit of retrospective analysis of how you got to your current predicament and what you could've done differently. This will help you avoid similar pitfalls in the future. Try to plan your days out, then your weeks, then even months or years. This will help you prepare for issues that might arise and prevent new problems from creeping in. Make sure you make time for introspective analysis on a daily basis...and try not to put off anything on your "to-do" list for longer than a day or two. You'll feel much better for it. Lastly, exercise and meditation will help you a lot. Good luck and know you're not alone in these problems!
sdrothrock 8y ago
Even if you don't live in Tokyo, I would encourage you to check out the HN Tokyo Slack; we're fairly active and at the least, we can all give relatively local (to Japan) advice and a shoulder for commiseration.
hardwaresofton 8y ago
It's OK, freelance contracts can be really hard, I've had one go south very quickly. While it (maybe?) doesn't matter now, you might have been better served by setting them up with wordpress + a real-estate specific plugin (there are lots, some even free). Basically what they were asking you for seems like a real estate specific CRM system, and the CRM world is very very deep and flush with pre-built/other options. Those kind of ideas are often best farmed out, a lot of places will think they need custom software but really don't (or at least you shouldn't write it though it would seem fun). If it wasn't too long ago, maybe you can make it up to them by hosting a Wordpress instance (or some other low-cost-to-you CRM tech you didn't have to write) and offering a solution to them for free for a year or something as an apology? An apology would probably feel better for you if you had something to offer them in addition to just the words. Either way, definitely hang out in the Slack! I don't know where in Japan you are, but there's a lot happening in the Fukuoka area, and I think there's a HN Kansai that just started as well. Not sure of anything to the north but maybe there is! Also, being able to even find freelance contracts locally is pretty difficult, so that's a great accomplishment, keep your chin up! It seems likely that you have the skills necessary to make it work just need to find the right way to apply them.
an_throwaway 8y ago
What are the main reasons that you can't finish contracts? ( be honest )

staticautomatic 8y ago

Good for you for being willing to admit that. If you have that level of crippling anxiety you need some medication asap. I speak from experience and I know how hard it will be to take that step (or any step at all), but things will get worse if you don't. The easiest way to do this is also a bit daunting but necessary. Go to your local hospital now. Tell them you are having endless and crippling panic attacks. Idk how the Japanese are about prescribing this kind of stuff but you must get a script for something like a Ativan or Klonopin. The goal is to reduce your anxiety temporarily- long enough to enable you to find a way forward with a clearer head. I know you will read this and not want to do it. Or you'll say to yourself that you know you should but then you won't. Summon whatever will you have and do it now. Just shut off your computer and get up and walk out the door.

murukesh_s 8y ago

I have one suggestion if you are getting contracts you are good at selling. Why don't you sub contract the work then? Or work as a salesperson for outsourcing companies in India or even US?

dkersten 8y ago
I was thinking the exact same thing. Hell, I’d almost take some off his hands haha

cattlefarmer 8y ago

If you're located in the Kansai region I can introduce you to a counsellor who speaks English.

anonymous809 8y ago

If you frequently stop contacting people and are remorseful but can't get yourself to take action (it sounds like you have this issue) and have had problems "escaping" other situations (thinking of suicide or just leaving the country, etc.); try to reframe your situation. There's a couple of ways to think about this: 1. What's the worst thing that could happen to you if you disappoint someone?...really, there's not much. Also, worse-case scenario to anything in life is you get punished with jail and/or fines. You are in control of your destiny in these cases. Don't think that there's no way out...there's always a way out. You sound like someone that likes challenges - think of this as a challenge that you have to solve. In the end; for what you have invested, what's another $5k (for a good accountant and/or house-keeping of documents) if it solves your headaches and you can stay in Japan? Try to find a mentor or someone who has been in similar situations to you. The "escape problems" that you suffer from are caused by anxiety and/or depression. It will take a while to train your brain to think differently and come to recognize these situations as they happen. Try to do a bit of retrospective analysis of how you got to your current predicament and what you could've done differently. This will help you avoid similar pitfalls in the future. Try to plan your days out, then your weeks, then even months or years. This will help you prepare for issues that might arise and prevent new problems from creeping in. Make sure you make time for introspective analysis on a daily basis...and try not to put off anything on your "to-do" list for longer than a day or two. You'll feel much better for it. Lastly, exercise and meditation will help you a lot. Good luck and know you're not alone in these problems!

sdrothrock 8y ago

Even if you don't live in Tokyo, I would encourage you to check out the HN Tokyo Slack; we're fairly active and at the least, we can all give relatively local (to Japan) advice and a shoulder for commiseration.

hardwaresofton 8y ago

It's OK, freelance contracts can be really hard, I've had one go south very quickly. While it (maybe?) doesn't matter now, you might have been better served by setting them up with wordpress + a real-estate specific plugin (there are lots, some even free). Basically what they were asking you for seems like a real estate specific CRM system, and the CRM world is very very deep and flush with pre-built/other options. Those kind of ideas are often best farmed out, a lot of places will think they need custom software but really don't (or at least you shouldn't write it though it would seem fun). If it wasn't too long ago, maybe you can make it up to them by hosting a Wordpress instance (or some other low-cost-to-you CRM tech you didn't have to write) and offering a solution to them for free for a year or something as an apology? An apology would probably feel better for you if you had something to offer them in addition to just the words. Either way, definitely hang out in the Slack! I don't know where in Japan you are, but there's a lot happening in the Fukuoka area, and I think there's a HN Kansai that just started as well. Not sure of anything to the north but maybe there is! Also, being able to even find freelance contracts locally is pretty difficult, so that's a great accomplishment, keep your chin up! It seems likely that you have the skills necessary to make it work just need to find the right way to apply them.

an_throwaway 8y ago

What are the main reasons that you can't finish contracts? ( be honest )