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It’s strange there’s no service to aid in this process, or maybe there is and I haven’t seen it? Meetup has become to much work to sort our sellers. Tinder fo

It’s strange there’s no service to aid in this process, or maybe there is and I haven’t seen it? Meetup has become to much work to sort our sellers. Tinder for plain ol’ friends you are not trying to date or sell something to, but might have things in common with? The one thing that messes it up for me is a few people I have known a long time who turned out to be lifelong best friends yet I have almost nothing in common with them. It’d be tough to have matching criteria for that, then again it also sounds like something tailor-made for machine learning if you could get the right data into the system.

pavel_lishin 8y ago
> a few people I have known a long time who turned out to be lifelong best friends I help moderate a local subreddit dedicated to local meetups, and I see this a lot - people are looking for best friends, and I think this is a mistake for two reasons: 1. You don't need all the people you regularly socialize with to be best friends. It's okay to have people you see often with whom you're not super-intimately connected. Not everyone has to be a platonic spouse. You ought to have a range of good friends, acquaintances, buddies, regulars-you-only-see-at-this-one-bar, etc. Seeking deep relations exclusively is a mistake, partially because... 2. ... you can't really farm out "find me a best friend" to an algorithm. As you mention, your best friends might be people who you appear to have nothing in common with, so you already know this. People say that dating is a numbers game, but it's easier to filter out potential dates than it is potential best friends. (For one, most people can easily eliminate ~50% of the populate from the pool.) There are obvious dealbreakers, but really it's just a matter of meeting people and seeing how your personalities mesh, how your conversations go, and how you both feel after awhile.
- acct1771 8y ago
  > Seeking deep relations exclusively is a mistake Could you elaborate on this, please?
  - pavel_lishin 8y ago
    Well, as I said above - why does every friend have to be a best friend? Why does every human connection you make need to be a life-long friendship? If you approach every potential friendship with your sights set on making a best friend for life, you'll inevitably be disappointed, repeatedly - because not every pair of people can strike up a relationship like that. Those relationships also take a fair amount of work and energy - they have to be maintained, and sometimes you don't actually need to put in that much work to get what you want out of a friendship. Sometimes you just need someone to shoot the shit with, and it's perfectly fine to do that with someone who's just a casual acquataince. Sorry if that doesn't make sense, I'm really tired todya.
naveen99 8y ago
there's bumble bff mode
- naveen99 8y ago
  and patook, and others...

pavel_lishin 8y ago

> a few people I have known a long time who turned out to be lifelong best friends I help moderate a local subreddit dedicated to local meetups, and I see this a lot - people are looking for best friends, and I think this is a mistake for two reasons: 1. You don't need all the people you regularly socialize with to be best friends. It's okay to have people you see often with whom you're not super-intimately connected. Not everyone has to be a platonic spouse. You ought to have a range of good friends, acquaintances, buddies, regulars-you-only-see-at-this-one-bar, etc. Seeking deep relations exclusively is a mistake, partially because... 2. ... you can't really farm out "find me a best friend" to an algorithm. As you mention, your best friends might be people who you appear to have nothing in common with, so you already know this. People say that dating is a numbers game, but it's easier to filter out potential dates than it is potential best friends. (For one, most people can easily eliminate ~50% of the populate from the pool.) There are obvious dealbreakers, but really it's just a matter of meeting people and seeing how your personalities mesh, how your conversations go, and how you both feel after awhile.

acct1771 8y ago
> Seeking deep relations exclusively is a mistake Could you elaborate on this, please?
- pavel_lishin 8y ago
  Well, as I said above - why does every friend have to be a best friend? Why does every human connection you make need to be a life-long friendship? If you approach every potential friendship with your sights set on making a best friend for life, you'll inevitably be disappointed, repeatedly - because not every pair of people can strike up a relationship like that. Those relationships also take a fair amount of work and energy - they have to be maintained, and sometimes you don't actually need to put in that much work to get what you want out of a friendship. Sometimes you just need someone to shoot the shit with, and it's perfectly fine to do that with someone who's just a casual acquataince. Sorry if that doesn't make sense, I'm really tired todya.

naveen99 8y ago

there's bumble bff mode

naveen99 8y ago
and patook, and others...