4 ms·

> through therapy I realized that I didn’t have an identity outside of being a software developer. That’s what was burning me out. I wasn’t Tim the person who h

> through therapy I realized that I didn’t have an identity outside of being a software developer. That’s what was burning me out. I wasn’t Tim the person who has a family and interests and develops software. I was Tim: software developer. The end. This turns out to be really bad. I had to remember who I am other than software developer. All I ever did was work or think about work or work on other things that were just like work. I feel like this is exactly my problem at the moment - how did you solve it?

bb88 8y ago
So a good friend of mine who is a psychologist told me that: 1) You find your job fulfilling, inspirational unto itself, or... 2) Your job enables you to enjoy other things. Ideally you want friends and a hobby (and ideally friends who share the same hobby) -- a hobby that happens to not be primarily software. If you don't know where to start, maybe look for a list of active meetups in the area.
trcollinson 8y ago
Well, the number one way I solved this was by going to therapy every week for months. My counselor helped me to realize it and gave me assignments and had be follow up on those assignments to figure myself out. I had to ask myself a lot of questions. Why do I want to spend more time watching videos online than actually work? Why do I have a hard time opening up my code editor? Why do I not get enough done during my working hours and then come home and feel like I should work more? Why am I so guilty? How can I feel like I’m getting so little done and yet my employer is so happy with me? Do I even know what I’m doing? Mindfulness helps with this so much. And very quickly problems started to go away and I felt so much better. I became significantly more productive. I was having fun. I felt relaxed. I felt confident. I’m absolutely amazing. It wasn’t very easy and it wasn’t a fun process at all. But I am so glad I did it.
- aragorn2 8y ago
  This exactly describes me. I need to get professional help! On the other hand, I live in a country with high unemployment rate, people barely have enough to get by day to day. A friend complained to me recently that he did not get paid for 2 months (he works in the public health sector). Compared to him, I’m living a dream. But I feel misserable.

bb88 8y ago

So a good friend of mine who is a psychologist told me that: 1) You find your job fulfilling, inspirational unto itself, or... 2) Your job enables you to enjoy other things. Ideally you want friends and a hobby (and ideally friends who share the same hobby) -- a hobby that happens to not be primarily software. If you don't know where to start, maybe look for a list of active meetups in the area.

trcollinson 8y ago

Well, the number one way I solved this was by going to therapy every week for months. My counselor helped me to realize it and gave me assignments and had be follow up on those assignments to figure myself out. I had to ask myself a lot of questions. Why do I want to spend more time watching videos online than actually work? Why do I have a hard time opening up my code editor? Why do I not get enough done during my working hours and then come home and feel like I should work more? Why am I so guilty? How can I feel like I’m getting so little done and yet my employer is so happy with me? Do I even know what I’m doing? Mindfulness helps with this so much. And very quickly problems started to go away and I felt so much better. I became significantly more productive. I was having fun. I felt relaxed. I felt confident. I’m absolutely amazing. It wasn’t very easy and it wasn’t a fun process at all. But I am so glad I did it.

aragorn2 8y ago
This exactly describes me. I need to get professional help! On the other hand, I live in a country with high unemployment rate, people barely have enough to get by day to day. A friend complained to me recently that he did not get paid for 2 months (he works in the public health sector). Compared to him, I’m living a dream. But I feel misserable.