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I think the best talk I had from a therapist in the early aughts went, "In general, the only things we know that help with depression are: exercise, some sunlig

I think the best talk I had from a therapist in the early aughts went, "In general, the only things we know that help with depression are: exercise, some sunlight, a little social interaction, and self-care; bathing, brushing your teeth, etc. Medicine can help some but results are inconsistent, talk therapy is rarely helpful." He spent two years just keeping me accountable on the little day to day things and while it didn't immediately cure my depression my quality of increased dramatically. The idea that something like keeping my room tidy would help with my depression sounded absolutely god damn insane at the time, "I want existence to end and you're telling me to make my bed?" ..but somehow those hundred small things mattered, life's pretty good these days. God damn brains are dumb.

Jtsummers 8y ago
I survived my deepest depression by showering and shaving every day. Then forcing myself to get dressed and go be with other people, even sitting in a coffee shop and feeling miserable, hiding it behind a smile and a book. Being home, alone, unshaven, unclean, in an unkept house made me feel worse because of all the things I saw that needed to be done, and the isolation allowing me to think about that and only that. A bit of tidying made my space feel better (less cramped) and a bit of tidying each day reduced the sense of burden compared to seeing the whole place as one big mess. Same for the self-care and other aspects. Every undone thing is an extra stressor because it's an extra thing that you know needs to be done, but in a depressed state you do not feel able to do or that there is sufficient time to do (it seems overwhelming, even when in reality it's a small chore). Being somewhat social (even as an introvert), being physically active and getting my sunlight, and maintaining a decently tidy home (I still suck at cleaning the shower often enough, and I never make my bed), have made an immense difference. There's also the benefit of routine and ritual. That's part of what the showering and shaving did. I'm lying in bed and I haven't shaved yet, I need to shave, let's get up and shave. I have to do this, once it's done it's done and I can move on. Now I'm out of bed and I can maybe do something else or not, but the ritual helped force me out of bed and gave me even the chance to have a healthy day.
- tomjakubowski 8y ago
  Your comment rings so true for me. I have had nearly the same experience with depression, talk therapy, and ritualistic self-care. > (I still suck at cleaning the shower often enough, and I never make my bed) I stopped using the top/flat sheet, which means "making the bed" is as simple as fluffing the pillows and shaking your duvet/comforter/quilt out over the bed. The flat sheet is responsible for probably 95% of the effort in making a bed. Coming home to a made bed is nice. Bonus: when you buy sheets in the future, you can invest the top sheet savings into a comfier bedspread.
  - fjsolwmv 8y ago
    You spend a third of your life in bed. Please splurge on all the comfiest sheets and blankets you can manage.
  - chillwaves 8y ago
    Keep in mind the flat sheet provides a barrier to protect your comforter from your gross body. Sheets are easier to wash than a comforter.
    - kaitai 8y ago
      In much of the duvet-loving world (but not the US), you just use a duvet-cover on the comforter, and wash that as you would the top sheet.
- wrycoder 8y ago
  My suggestion is, instead of "making" the bed, pull the top sheet and covers down to the end and let the bed air out. It's easier and more healthy.
- narag 8y ago
  Excuse me if I stray out a little (I wholeheartedly agree with your comment) and ask you how is that your bed needs making. Are these things uncommon over there? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duvet https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duvet I hate making my bed so I can't be happier now :)

Jtsummers 8y ago

I survived my deepest depression by showering and shaving every day. Then forcing myself to get dressed and go be with other people, even sitting in a coffee shop and feeling miserable, hiding it behind a smile and a book. Being home, alone, unshaven, unclean, in an unkept house made me feel worse because of all the things I saw that needed to be done, and the isolation allowing me to think about that and only that. A bit of tidying made my space feel better (less cramped) and a bit of tidying each day reduced the sense of burden compared to seeing the whole place as one big mess. Same for the self-care and other aspects. Every undone thing is an extra stressor because it's an extra thing that you know needs to be done, but in a depressed state you do not feel able to do or that there is sufficient time to do (it seems overwhelming, even when in reality it's a small chore). Being somewhat social (even as an introvert), being physically active and getting my sunlight, and maintaining a decently tidy home (I still suck at cleaning the shower often enough, and I never make my bed), have made an immense difference. There's also the benefit of routine and ritual. That's part of what the showering and shaving did. I'm lying in bed and I haven't shaved yet, I need to shave, let's get up and shave. I have to do this, once it's done it's done and I can move on. Now I'm out of bed and I can maybe do something else or not, but the ritual helped force me out of bed and gave me even the chance to have a healthy day.

tomjakubowski 8y ago
Your comment rings so true for me. I have had nearly the same experience with depression, talk therapy, and ritualistic self-care. > (I still suck at cleaning the shower often enough, and I never make my bed) I stopped using the top/flat sheet, which means "making the bed" is as simple as fluffing the pillows and shaking your duvet/comforter/quilt out over the bed. The flat sheet is responsible for probably 95% of the effort in making a bed. Coming home to a made bed is nice. Bonus: when you buy sheets in the future, you can invest the top sheet savings into a comfier bedspread.
- fjsolwmv 8y ago
  You spend a third of your life in bed. Please splurge on all the comfiest sheets and blankets you can manage.
- chillwaves 8y ago
  Keep in mind the flat sheet provides a barrier to protect your comforter from your gross body. Sheets are easier to wash than a comforter.
  - kaitai 8y ago
    In much of the duvet-loving world (but not the US), you just use a duvet-cover on the comforter, and wash that as you would the top sheet.
wrycoder 8y ago
My suggestion is, instead of "making" the bed, pull the top sheet and covers down to the end and let the bed air out. It's easier and more healthy.
narag 8y ago
Excuse me if I stray out a little (I wholeheartedly agree with your comment) and ask you how is that your bed needs making. Are these things uncommon over there? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duvet https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duvet I hate making my bed so I can't be happier now :)