4 ms·
I struggled with mental health issues my entire adult life. Psychosis, Schizophrenia, Biploar, Anxiety, Suicidal Depression, Panic Attacks. It wasn’t until I
by ada1981 8y ago
I struggled with mental health issues my entire adult life.
Psychosis, Schizophrenia, Biploar, Anxiety, Suicidal Depression, Panic Attacks.
It wasn’t until I changed my relationship to all emotions and then sought out a variety of support to safely go deeply into my experience that I was able to find relief.
1 session of MDMA therapy lifted a decade of suicidal thoughts; session 2 a year later largely freed me of anxiety and paranoia; combined with a NARM therapist to help me heal developmental and shock trauma, yoga, holotropic Breathwork and a loving stable romantic relationship. And a lot of grace.
No meds, no longer a prisoner, and my life is vibrant and alive and the past feels like nothing more than a straight jacket I wriggled out of.
The often unspoken truth is that Trauma (developmental, shock, generational) underpins most all mental health issues (save issues of malnutrition, poisoning,tumors and TBI).
This is on the radar of few practioners who instead offer very limited tools to suppress symptoms.
And because mental health is actually a context, folks typically are surrounded by others who don’t have a very deep capacity to honor our expeirences and would rather try to “cheer us up” or change what we feel. The actual need is to have people who help us feel more of what we feel (that leads to deeper relief).
The Suicidal Impulse is a an impulse for the pain of our default mode network to stop. When we have unprocessed traumas, we are in a state of fight or flight and this activation is painful. It also leads to addiction.
Ego (default mode network) death and rebirth is possible without killing the body. It requires a safe context to release the old trauma and form new pathways in the incresed plasticity.
Know that there are actual solutions, it’s not your fault, and there are people here to help — but you will need to take responsibility for healing this as our current society is doing a terrible job thus far.
- aklemm 8y agoThis is playing out with someone I know, so it's validating to see it as a good path or outcome. How do you get access to MDMA treatments?
- ada1981 8y agoMaps.org has clinical trials one can get into. And depending on the local laws re prohibition some countries have therapists or guides who will help facilitate. Holotropic Breathwork gets at the same mechanism of action, albeit a more manual process, and is legal everywhere. Email me if you’d like to talk more.
- monkeynotes 8y agoI wish I knew where to seek the treatment you found. I suffer from anxiety, depression, and trauma and it limits my potential every day. I have counselling but I find it extremely difficult to connect with the source of all of it and flush it out. I know it's in there, hiding. The ego death you speak of is what I invite every day but the negativity and shame that my ego has insulated itself with is extremely resilient.
- foobaw 8y agoI wish you the best. One thing that really helped a lot of my peers is Ketamine and there are treatment centers available in big cities.
- braveheart1723 8y agoI know this is anecdotal but I've also spoken to a nurse treating depressive patients for 20 years and she swore by recent treatments of Ketamine here in the UK.
- meko 8y agoBe careful with ketamine though, it's really hard on your internals: gallbladder, liver, bladder and kidneys.
- ada1981 8y agoPlease e-mail me and I can provide you with a list of resources, books, videos, people, practioners, etc. A@175g.com
- palimpsests 8y agoI know that this is hard -- please feel free to email me. I can put you in touch with various networks of practitioners.
- codyb 8y agoYou do not appear to have an email listed in your profile.
- billman 8y agoThanks for being a light in this darkness!
- palimpsests 8y agoMy experience mirrors yours in many ways, including the tools, modalities, and techniques you mention. I appreciate what you've shared here and how you've articulated this.
- ada1981 8y agoI'd love to hear more about your journey. Sharing notes on the path helps us all refine the map.