4 ms·

I understand it. It's not like the world is a super happy place and everybody is like 'why would you want to leave this place - it's amazing!'. Everybody has t

I understand it. It's not like the world is a super happy place and everybody is like 'why would you want to leave this place - it's amazing!'. Everybody has their own experiences. Their life is unique. Telling other people that they should stick around can even be selfish, depending on what they are going through. However. Living life is a skill, and I believe can you get quite satisfactory skill levels by making hard choices and changing your life for the better until it becomes pretty fine. You may even feel happy. Takes hard work though, and it's very hard to find that energy when you are depressed and your brain is telling you that your problems are unsolvable. But they are not. That's the good news I guess. :)

DoreenMichele 8y ago
No, you clearly don't really understand it. If you did, you should know that telling a suicidal person "chin up, it's fixable!" is the worst thing you can do. Another big sin is offering me encouragement unsolicited as if I need it when I am not even saying that I am currently suicidal. Last, I have a genetic disorder. There is no cure for that. Your assumption that anything is fixable if you just try hard enough is monstrously wrong. The hell of it is, I am getting myself well anyway, for which the entire world would like me to know I am insane, an egomaniac, a teller of tall tales, etc and generally heap abuse on me. But don't let the facts confuse you. Just carry on with doing things that could push someone over the edge if you did this to them while they were actively feeling suicidal.
- frgtpsswrdlame 8y ago
  You know I could never bring myself to be upset at people with a "chin up, it's fixable!" attitude. It's certainly not the worst thing they could do. And then the above commenter is committing a sin by not reading your mind to know you don't want to be encouraged? Come on. >But don't let the facts confuse you. Just carry on with doing things that could push someone over the edge if you did this to them while they were actively feeling suicidal. It's not the burden of people to never say any thing wrong to a depressed person. It's certainly wrong to place causation at their feet. This is the sort of thing that leads people to blame themselves after a suicide, it's an unhealthy way of thinking about the issue.
  - DoreenMichele 8y ago
    They start by asserting they understood. I am asserting they don't. I'm not currently depressed nor suicidal. But if you think it is on the depressed or suicidal person to meet the social and emotional needs of some random internet stranger who wants to be all encouraging, please do the world a favor and stay very far away from such discussions. Your mental model is the kind of thing that absolutely can push someone over the edge, while you try to find justifications for how it isn't your fault.
- castlecrasher2 8y ago
  > "chin up, it's fixable!" Having been suicidal for a number of years myself and having overcome it, in my case it was fixable. People suggesting that unfortunately may not be familiar with something as agonizing as a genetic disorder, and I'm sorry for what you're going through.
  - DoreenMichele 8y ago
    I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm looking to put out useful information. Telling an internet stranger "it's fixable" when you don't know what the problem is tends to go very bad places. My initial assertion was that, no, most people don't really want to understand because then they might have to be kinder and that isn't usually on their agenda. Given the pile on of down votes and every reply to me being dismissive and argumentative, I stand by that assertion. Whatever interest I had in trying to do some kind of PSA here has basically died. I think I am done here. I have made my point, though, no, most people won't see that. They are too busy trying to come up with counterarguments proving they aren't somehow part of the problem.
    - throwaway00006 8y ago
      This resonates with me. It's very hard to win empathy from those who haven't struggled with suicide. And it's frustrating how many people will confidently offer you advice they've never needed themselves. Trying to rationalize suicide to someone will almost always lead to more self-alienation, so it's a conversation I avoid almost entirely. Thanks for being forward. Suicide is nothing to be ashamed of and I believe most of the other comments exemplify the problem. Your message is mostly lost here but I wanted to make a point that you aren't alone.
      - DoreenMichele 8y ago
        I'm extremely tired today, so I am probably not making my points as eloquently as I would like. Although this is a new account, I've participated on HN nearly 9 years and some folks are well aware of that. I get recognized as also being that other handle by a surprising number of people. I have long addressed controversial issues like suicide. That isn't anything new. Today is my birthday. I am trying to tongue-in-cheek look upon the down votes as HN's birthday gift to me.;-)

DoreenMichele 8y ago

No, you clearly don't really understand it. If you did, you should know that telling a suicidal person "chin up, it's fixable!" is the worst thing you can do. Another big sin is offering me encouragement unsolicited as if I need it when I am not even saying that I am currently suicidal. Last, I have a genetic disorder. There is no cure for that. Your assumption that anything is fixable if you just try hard enough is monstrously wrong. The hell of it is, I am getting myself well anyway, for which the entire world would like me to know I am insane, an egomaniac, a teller of tall tales, etc and generally heap abuse on me. But don't let the facts confuse you. Just carry on with doing things that could push someone over the edge if you did this to them while they were actively feeling suicidal.

frgtpsswrdlame 8y ago
You know I could never bring myself to be upset at people with a "chin up, it's fixable!" attitude. It's certainly not the worst thing they could do. And then the above commenter is committing a sin by not reading your mind to know you don't want to be encouraged? Come on. >But don't let the facts confuse you. Just carry on with doing things that could push someone over the edge if you did this to them while they were actively feeling suicidal. It's not the burden of people to never say any thing wrong to a depressed person. It's certainly wrong to place causation at their feet. This is the sort of thing that leads people to blame themselves after a suicide, it's an unhealthy way of thinking about the issue.
- DoreenMichele 8y ago
  They start by asserting they understood. I am asserting they don't. I'm not currently depressed nor suicidal. But if you think it is on the depressed or suicidal person to meet the social and emotional needs of some random internet stranger who wants to be all encouraging, please do the world a favor and stay very far away from such discussions. Your mental model is the kind of thing that absolutely can push someone over the edge, while you try to find justifications for how it isn't your fault.
castlecrasher2 8y ago
> "chin up, it's fixable!" Having been suicidal for a number of years myself and having overcome it, in my case it was fixable. People suggesting that unfortunately may not be familiar with something as agonizing as a genetic disorder, and I'm sorry for what you're going through.
- DoreenMichele 8y ago
  I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm looking to put out useful information. Telling an internet stranger "it's fixable" when you don't know what the problem is tends to go very bad places. My initial assertion was that, no, most people don't really want to understand because then they might have to be kinder and that isn't usually on their agenda. Given the pile on of down votes and every reply to me being dismissive and argumentative, I stand by that assertion. Whatever interest I had in trying to do some kind of PSA here has basically died. I think I am done here. I have made my point, though, no, most people won't see that. They are too busy trying to come up with counterarguments proving they aren't somehow part of the problem.
  - throwaway00006 8y ago
    This resonates with me. It's very hard to win empathy from those who haven't struggled with suicide. And it's frustrating how many people will confidently offer you advice they've never needed themselves. Trying to rationalize suicide to someone will almost always lead to more self-alienation, so it's a conversation I avoid almost entirely. Thanks for being forward. Suicide is nothing to be ashamed of and I believe most of the other comments exemplify the problem. Your message is mostly lost here but I wanted to make a point that you aren't alone.
    - DoreenMichele 8y ago
      I'm extremely tired today, so I am probably not making my points as eloquently as I would like. Although this is a new account, I've participated on HN nearly 9 years and some folks are well aware of that. I get recognized as also being that other handle by a surprising number of people. I have long addressed controversial issues like suicide. That isn't anything new. Today is my birthday. I am trying to tongue-in-cheek look upon the down votes as HN's birthday gift to me.;-)