4 ms·

you essentially want someone who can read your mind

by make3 8y ago

arcticbull 8y ago
The best/worst advice I ever received was "you're doing a great job of what I ask you to, now I need you to do what I don't ask you to" -- at the time, it made no sense. Now, it's a core part of my work style. Developing autonomy is a very valuable skill, and I think that's what OP is driving at. It's also not something that'd been developed during my education. I agree that performance reviews aren't particularly helpful because feedback should be delivered as you go, in the moment, with actionable and relevant examples.
- Swizec 8y ago
  > now I need you to do what I don’t ask you to Now I need you to make me want to. And no that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to reward me, often it’s enough to feel like I won’t get in trouble for going the extra mile, or that at the very least it will be noticed when I do. There’s only so often a person will give suggestions and extra effort to a lukewarm or negative response before they say fuck it and stop caring.
  - mindcrime 8y ago
    There’s only so often a person will give suggestions and extra effort to a lukewarm or negative response before they say fuck it and stop caring. Bingo. I'm happy to put in extra effort, go the extra mile, and try to make things better... until about the second time that my efforts go unacknowledged, unimplemented, unrewarded, etc. At which point, what you'll get from me is "exactly what I'm asked to do, and no more, no less" from there out.
  - iamcasen 8y ago
    That's exactly it. A boss can't ask for initiative, unless they offer autonomy. Autonomy means you might do things differently than your boss would, so they need to be open to listening to you and letting you direct your efforts in the best way you know how.
- gowld 8y ago
  Working autonomously is usually still working for someone, be it a boss or a client. I can deliver results, but I still need to know if I'm delivering value to the client. And since I am mere imperfect human, I know I can improve and so I crave feedback. I'd never want to work with someone so arrogant as to think they don't need constructive criticism from anyone.
StaticRedux 8y ago
It's not about reading minds, it's about taking the initiative to make things better or get things done without specifically being told what to do. And there is a big difference between people that can and people that can't. If your significant other reminded you to go to the grocery store, would you get a general idea of what she wanted and go get a bunch of stuff you know y'all need, even if it isn't on the list? Or would you only get the exact things she wrote on the list and nothing else, even though if you applied some initiative you'd realize that she wanted to make pancakes and she forgot to put milk on the list so you go ahead and grab the milk also. It seems obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people stick exactly to the list and don't take that initiative.
- s73v3r_ 8y ago
  "It's not about reading minds, it's about taking the initiative to make things better or get things done without specifically being told what to do." And how do I know I won't be yelled at or punished if I happen to get this wrong?
  - Jach 8y ago
    More importantly, you're not in a hierarchical power relationship (probably) with your spouse. And at some point after management has demanded some amount of initiative and workers have implemented some amount of things on their own initiative (which is another barrier), there's a big question of why there's a manager at all, or at least why they get paid more.

you essentially want someone who can read your mind

by make3 8y ago

you essentially want someone who can read your mind

The best/worst advice I ever received was "you're doing a great job of what I ask you to, now I need you to do what I don't ask you to" -- at the time, it made no sense. Now, it's a core part of my work style. Developing autonomy is a very valuable skill, and I think that's what OP is driving at. It's also not something that'd been developed during my education. I agree that performance reviews aren't particularly helpful because feedback should be delivered as you go, in the moment, with actionable and relevant examples.

Swizec 8y ago
> now I need you to do what I don’t ask you to Now I need you to make me want to. And no that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to reward me, often it’s enough to feel like I won’t get in trouble for going the extra mile, or that at the very least it will be noticed when I do. There’s only so often a person will give suggestions and extra effort to a lukewarm or negative response before they say fuck it and stop caring.
- mindcrime 8y ago
  There’s only so often a person will give suggestions and extra effort to a lukewarm or negative response before they say fuck it and stop caring. Bingo. I'm happy to put in extra effort, go the extra mile, and try to make things better... until about the second time that my efforts go unacknowledged, unimplemented, unrewarded, etc. At which point, what you'll get from me is "exactly what I'm asked to do, and no more, no less" from there out.
- iamcasen 8y ago
  That's exactly it. A boss can't ask for initiative, unless they offer autonomy. Autonomy means you might do things differently than your boss would, so they need to be open to listening to you and letting you direct your efforts in the best way you know how.
gowld 8y ago
Working autonomously is usually still working for someone, be it a boss or a client. I can deliver results, but I still need to know if I'm delivering value to the client. And since I am mere imperfect human, I know I can improve and so I crave feedback. I'd never want to work with someone so arrogant as to think they don't need constructive criticism from anyone.

StaticRedux 8y ago

It's not about reading minds, it's about taking the initiative to make things better or get things done without specifically being told what to do. And there is a big difference between people that can and people that can't. If your significant other reminded you to go to the grocery store, would you get a general idea of what she wanted and go get a bunch of stuff you know y'all need, even if it isn't on the list? Or would you only get the exact things she wrote on the list and nothing else, even though if you applied some initiative you'd realize that she wanted to make pancakes and she forgot to put milk on the list so you go ahead and grab the milk also. It seems obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people stick exactly to the list and don't take that initiative.

s73v3r_ 8y ago
"It's not about reading minds, it's about taking the initiative to make things better or get things done without specifically being told what to do." And how do I know I won't be yelled at or punished if I happen to get this wrong?
- Jach 8y ago
  More importantly, you're not in a hierarchical power relationship (probably) with your spouse. And at some point after management has demanded some amount of initiative and workers have implemented some amount of things on their own initiative (which is another barrier), there's a big question of why there's a manager at all, or at least why they get paid more.