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This feels weird. Why don't you as a parent enforce homework (or decent behavior) ? There's nothing to be proud of in my opinion; and maybe it's not reflected i

This feels weird. Why don't you as a parent enforce homework (or decent behavior) ? There's nothing to be proud of in my opinion; and maybe it's not reflected in grades yet but learning comes through repetition, without exception. Missing out on practice is a big deal for proficiency (and it's not a bad habit to pick up either). Honestly I have very little sympathy for parents that thinks its ok to disrespect teachers because they didn't earn it themselves (or so it sounds).

aidenn0 8y ago
I will help the teacher enforce homework, but I'm not going to do it alone. If a kid doesn't want to do it, and the person assigning it doesn't care if they do it, my options are limited. I don't think it's okay to disrespect teachers, but if the teacher's approach to getting respect is by making threats that they never intend to follow through on, then they are undermining themselves. There are limits on what I can do at 3pm if the majority of my child's peers are openly disrespecting the teacher for the previous 7 hours straight with zero consequence. I will absolutely support the teacher in any efforts they make, but when the teacher makes no effort, there is nothing for me to support.
- hycaria 8y ago
  >If a kid doesn't want to do it, How can this even be an argument. >and the person assigning it doesn't care if they do it They do obviously since you have negative feedback from the teachers about undone homework. Also as a parent shouldn't you care if they do it ? >I don't think it's okay to disrespect teachers Then why can she be obnoxious in class, complain about it at home and still nothing happens ? Do you meet regularily with the teachers ? Or communicate with them about how you wished they would enforce punitions ? Or at the very least tell them how you learned about how your child is doing X (why do you even learn it from her, isn't there supposed to be feedback every trimester or such ?) which sucks, is unappropriate and which you've discussed with her, etc...
  - aidenn0 8y ago
    >> If a kid doesn't want to do it, > How can this even be an argument. I mentioned it because if my child wants to do their homework then all problems go away. The ultimate goal is that my child will want to do their homework; I'm obviously not going to monitor their homework once they are in college. >> and the person assigning it doesn't care if they do it > They do obviously since you have negative feedback from the teachers about undone homework. Let me tell you an analogous story from my work: Another engineer tells me they have an urgent problem they need solved. Every time they ask me about it they stress how urgent it is. However, when I ask for clarification or more information, it takes them several work days, and sometimes several reminders for them to get back to me. I ran into them a few weeks after the issue was resolved and asked them how it went. They respond that they haven't done any testing of it yet. Was the problem really urgent for them? After all, they did tell me many times how urgent it was. > Also as a parent shouldn't you care if they do it? I want my child to be successful. Doing homework is a very important part of that. However, as I said earlier the goal is that when they are older they will choose to do that. I do not believe that standing behind my child for 3 hours a night 5 days a week making sure they stay on-task is an effective way of achieving that goal (not to mention that with 4 children it would take up 6 hours each of my time and my wife's time). My parents were incredibly strict about homework. The day I left the house I stopped doing homework and I nearly flunked out of college. My wife's parents were far less strict about homework and she graduated college in 3 years. It seems to be working with my kids too. My oldest is a 5th grader and recently had a research paper due. She gathered her materials and then procrastinated. She was obviously embarrassed when she asked to stay up late to work on it, which to me is a sign that she understands it's her responsibility to get it done. >> I don't think it's okay to disrespect teachers > Then why can she be obnoxious in class, complain about it at home and still nothing happens? I never said nothing happens. In this specific case I had her collate worksheets for the teacher before school one morning. I find it absurd that I had to be the one to correct a behavior that had been going on in the classroom for 5 days. > Do you meet regularily with the teachers? In general 4 times a year (there's a quarter system here). For this specific case, I volunteered in the classroom for an hour a week, so I saw the teacher a lot (it's also how I know that she had zero control over the classroom). The teacher never informed me of my daughter's behavior, nor the threat of detention. > Or communicate with them about how you wished they would enforce punitions? Yes. Some listen, others ignore me (My wife has been told she's wrong, perhaps a bit of casual sexism there, but I never been contradicted, just ignored by the teachers that tell my wife she's wrong). > Or at the very least tell them how you learned about how your child is doing X (why do you even learn it from her, isn't there supposed to be feedback every trimester or such ?) which sucks, is unappropriate and which you've discussed with her, etc... Yes, I've done all these things (and it's quarters rather than trimesters where I live).

aidenn0 8y ago

I will help the teacher enforce homework, but I'm not going to do it alone. If a kid doesn't want to do it, and the person assigning it doesn't care if they do it, my options are limited. I don't think it's okay to disrespect teachers, but if the teacher's approach to getting respect is by making threats that they never intend to follow through on, then they are undermining themselves. There are limits on what I can do at 3pm if the majority of my child's peers are openly disrespecting the teacher for the previous 7 hours straight with zero consequence. I will absolutely support the teacher in any efforts they make, but when the teacher makes no effort, there is nothing for me to support.

hycaria 8y ago
>If a kid doesn't want to do it, How can this even be an argument. >and the person assigning it doesn't care if they do it They do obviously since you have negative feedback from the teachers about undone homework. Also as a parent shouldn't you care if they do it ? >I don't think it's okay to disrespect teachers Then why can she be obnoxious in class, complain about it at home and still nothing happens ? Do you meet regularily with the teachers ? Or communicate with them about how you wished they would enforce punitions ? Or at the very least tell them how you learned about how your child is doing X (why do you even learn it from her, isn't there supposed to be feedback every trimester or such ?) which sucks, is unappropriate and which you've discussed with her, etc...
- aidenn0 8y ago
  >> If a kid doesn't want to do it, > How can this even be an argument. I mentioned it because if my child wants to do their homework then all problems go away. The ultimate goal is that my child will want to do their homework; I'm obviously not going to monitor their homework once they are in college. >> and the person assigning it doesn't care if they do it > They do obviously since you have negative feedback from the teachers about undone homework. Let me tell you an analogous story from my work: Another engineer tells me they have an urgent problem they need solved. Every time they ask me about it they stress how urgent it is. However, when I ask for clarification or more information, it takes them several work days, and sometimes several reminders for them to get back to me. I ran into them a few weeks after the issue was resolved and asked them how it went. They respond that they haven't done any testing of it yet. Was the problem really urgent for them? After all, they did tell me many times how urgent it was. > Also as a parent shouldn't you care if they do it? I want my child to be successful. Doing homework is a very important part of that. However, as I said earlier the goal is that when they are older they will choose to do that. I do not believe that standing behind my child for 3 hours a night 5 days a week making sure they stay on-task is an effective way of achieving that goal (not to mention that with 4 children it would take up 6 hours each of my time and my wife's time). My parents were incredibly strict about homework. The day I left the house I stopped doing homework and I nearly flunked out of college. My wife's parents were far less strict about homework and she graduated college in 3 years. It seems to be working with my kids too. My oldest is a 5th grader and recently had a research paper due. She gathered her materials and then procrastinated. She was obviously embarrassed when she asked to stay up late to work on it, which to me is a sign that she understands it's her responsibility to get it done. >> I don't think it's okay to disrespect teachers > Then why can she be obnoxious in class, complain about it at home and still nothing happens? I never said nothing happens. In this specific case I had her collate worksheets for the teacher before school one morning. I find it absurd that I had to be the one to correct a behavior that had been going on in the classroom for 5 days. > Do you meet regularily with the teachers? In general 4 times a year (there's a quarter system here). For this specific case, I volunteered in the classroom for an hour a week, so I saw the teacher a lot (it's also how I know that she had zero control over the classroom). The teacher never informed me of my daughter's behavior, nor the threat of detention. > Or communicate with them about how you wished they would enforce punitions? Yes. Some listen, others ignore me (My wife has been told she's wrong, perhaps a bit of casual sexism there, but I never been contradicted, just ignored by the teachers that tell my wife she's wrong). > Or at the very least tell them how you learned about how your child is doing X (why do you even learn it from her, isn't there supposed to be feedback every trimester or such ?) which sucks, is unappropriate and which you've discussed with her, etc... Yes, I've done all these things (and it's quarters rather than trimesters where I live).