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Spanking. No kiddin. You don't need to put your children in a hospital. But a little slap in the buns never killed nobody, and as a last resort toll. can be rea

Spanking. No kiddin. You don't need to put your children in a hospital. But a little slap in the buns never killed nobody, and as a last resort toll. can be really effective. Of course, go for ligth mesures before, and then scalate. Take the things the kid like first, for a while, like no videogames fo a week, or two. If the nocive behavour dosen't go away, increase the time.

Ascetik 8y ago
I agree. Spare the rod, spoil the child. It works. Parents need to get off their phones, computers, TV's and spend time with their kids. I live on a street of maybe 30 or so houses. And I have two small children. I know there are other families with small children and I have never once in the 4 years I've lived on this street seen them outside playing with their kids. I play with my kids outside everyday, when weather permits. It is sad. Technology, especially TV and computers, and cars have destroyed community. Not totally, but almost. Don't even get me started on teenagers with phones. My children will be getting flip phones for calls only and very limited texting.
stephen_g 8y ago
There's probably something to this. I don't have kids so luckily I don't have to think much about it (yet, at least). While there are plenty of studies about psychological issues from spanking, but I've always been uncomfortable about the definitions. There is a fair difference between a single sharp smack on the butt (clothed, not bare) like I and my siblings, friends etc. used to get (and deserve) as kids, and actual abuse (i.e. beatings, using implements, hits to the face, arms, torso, etc.), but I feel like most of the studies lump them in together. It's also hard to control for whether it's a single spank for discipline used only when the situation warrants it or routine, arbitrary or random spanking. There's probably going to be psychological abuse or neglect coming along with it if it's the latter but far less likely for the former.
- NLips 8y ago
  I have children (too young for this to matter yet) and I have the same discomfort. I was 'smacked' on the bottom sometimes as a child - no real idea about the frequency as this would now be a long time ago. Small children don't have the same sense of reasoning / looking forward as e.g. teenagers or adults, so I appreciate something more primeval should work better (and I'm not going to take away their food). But while all the data suggests hitting or spanking a child is bad, there seems to be no mentions of discriminating between genuinely physically harming the child (e.g. lasting damage like a bruise) and something which hurts but has zero long or medium-term physical effect - just a temporary stinging of the skin over a heavily muscled or fatty area like the bottom. My personal feeling is that if researched well, the data would probably show that in small children, some form of physical punishment would be shown to be effective and leave no lasting psycological issues. I just don't think there's any good evidence either way.
  - jlebrech 8y ago
    a 'smack' is non-verbal communication, but once you can reason with a child it shouldn't be done. also direct feedback is important for young children as they won't know what they did wrong hours down the line.
  - weeksie 8y ago
    I promise there not only has been research on small children and corporal punishment and that it's not at all effective and that it is damaging. Above I linked to an article on the subject by the APA. Here's a link to the meta-analysis referenced in the article: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10567-005-2340-z https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10567-005-2340-z
    - NLips 8y ago
      From the abstract at that link: "The results indicated that effect sizes significantly favored conditional spanking over 10 of 13 alternative disciplinary tactics for reducing child noncompliance or antisocial behavior. Customary physical punishment yielded effect sizes equal to alternative tactics, except for one large study favoring physical punishment. Only overly severe or predominant use of physical punishment compared unfavorably with alternative disciplinary tactics." In short: conditional spanking - more effective that 10/13 other disciplining methods customary spanking - no more or less effective than other disciplining methods severe / predominant use of spanking - worse than other methods The rest of the material available without access to the full paper just seems to back the assertion that data is poor on this topic, and there are methodological issues that make it hard to assess different levels of physical punishment seperately.
- prawn 8y ago
  I have kids and don't smack them. I don't really feel like I am lacking a tool in my arsenal of discipline. Usually time out, withholding things like TV or treats is enough.
joelhooks 8y ago
I don’t have a lot of parenting regrets but spanking my kids is one of them. Fear is definitely a solid deterrent though, no doubt.
weeksie 8y ago
I know that spanking is intuitive. It sure feels like it does something. The research, however, is unambiguous about this: spanking causes more misbehavior. > In a meta-analysis of 26 studies, Larzelere and a colleague found that an approach they described as “conditional spanking” led to greater reductions in child defiance or anti-social behavior than 10 of 13 alternative discipline techniques, including reasoning, removal of privileges and time out (Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 2005). Larzelere defines conditional spanking as a disciplinary technique for 2- to 6-year-old children in which parents use two open-handed swats on the buttocks only after the child has defied milder discipline such as time out.[0] There are ways to change behavior, and striking a child is one of them, but you are not going to get the behavior changes you are after. [0] - http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx
- NLips 8y ago
  Your quote directly contradicts your assertion. On Gershoff's meta-analysis, from your meta-analysis link: "...most of the research on physical punishment “lumps” together nonabusive and customary punishment with overly severe forms of physical punishment. For example, 65% of the studies in Gershoff’s (2002) meta-analysis included overly severe physical punishment in their measure, according to Baumrind et al. (2002). Examples ranged from vaguely defined “punitive discipline” (6% of the studies), composite measures of the frequency and severity of physical punishment (29%), and the inclusion of extreme violence (31%), such as slapping in the face (seven studies), beating up (three studies), or hitting with a fist and causing bruises and cuts (one study)". The parent comment specifically mentions punishment at the very bottom of the scale and guradualy escalating from non-physical punishment.

Ascetik 8y ago

I agree. Spare the rod, spoil the child. It works. Parents need to get off their phones, computers, TV's and spend time with their kids. I live on a street of maybe 30 or so houses. And I have two small children. I know there are other families with small children and I have never once in the 4 years I've lived on this street seen them outside playing with their kids. I play with my kids outside everyday, when weather permits. It is sad. Technology, especially TV and computers, and cars have destroyed community. Not totally, but almost. Don't even get me started on teenagers with phones. My children will be getting flip phones for calls only and very limited texting.

stephen_g 8y ago

There's probably something to this. I don't have kids so luckily I don't have to think much about it (yet, at least). While there are plenty of studies about psychological issues from spanking, but I've always been uncomfortable about the definitions. There is a fair difference between a single sharp smack on the butt (clothed, not bare) like I and my siblings, friends etc. used to get (and deserve) as kids, and actual abuse (i.e. beatings, using implements, hits to the face, arms, torso, etc.), but I feel like most of the studies lump them in together. It's also hard to control for whether it's a single spank for discipline used only when the situation warrants it or routine, arbitrary or random spanking. There's probably going to be psychological abuse or neglect coming along with it if it's the latter but far less likely for the former.

NLips 8y ago
I have children (too young for this to matter yet) and I have the same discomfort. I was 'smacked' on the bottom sometimes as a child - no real idea about the frequency as this would now be a long time ago. Small children don't have the same sense of reasoning / looking forward as e.g. teenagers or adults, so I appreciate something more primeval should work better (and I'm not going to take away their food). But while all the data suggests hitting or spanking a child is bad, there seems to be no mentions of discriminating between genuinely physically harming the child (e.g. lasting damage like a bruise) and something which hurts but has zero long or medium-term physical effect - just a temporary stinging of the skin over a heavily muscled or fatty area like the bottom. My personal feeling is that if researched well, the data would probably show that in small children, some form of physical punishment would be shown to be effective and leave no lasting psycological issues. I just don't think there's any good evidence either way.
- jlebrech 8y ago
  a 'smack' is non-verbal communication, but once you can reason with a child it shouldn't be done. also direct feedback is important for young children as they won't know what they did wrong hours down the line.
- weeksie 8y ago
  I promise there not only has been research on small children and corporal punishment and that it's not at all effective and that it is damaging. Above I linked to an article on the subject by the APA. Here's a link to the meta-analysis referenced in the article: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10567-005-2340-z https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10567-005-2340-z
  - NLips 8y ago
    From the abstract at that link: "The results indicated that effect sizes significantly favored conditional spanking over 10 of 13 alternative disciplinary tactics for reducing child noncompliance or antisocial behavior. Customary physical punishment yielded effect sizes equal to alternative tactics, except for one large study favoring physical punishment. Only overly severe or predominant use of physical punishment compared unfavorably with alternative disciplinary tactics." In short: conditional spanking - more effective that 10/13 other disciplining methods customary spanking - no more or less effective than other disciplining methods severe / predominant use of spanking - worse than other methods The rest of the material available without access to the full paper just seems to back the assertion that data is poor on this topic, and there are methodological issues that make it hard to assess different levels of physical punishment seperately.
prawn 8y ago
I have kids and don't smack them. I don't really feel like I am lacking a tool in my arsenal of discipline. Usually time out, withholding things like TV or treats is enough.

joelhooks 8y ago

I don’t have a lot of parenting regrets but spanking my kids is one of them. Fear is definitely a solid deterrent though, no doubt.

weeksie 8y ago

I know that spanking is intuitive. It sure feels like it does something. The research, however, is unambiguous about this: spanking causes more misbehavior. > In a meta-analysis of 26 studies, Larzelere and a colleague found that an approach they described as “conditional spanking” led to greater reductions in child defiance or anti-social behavior than 10 of 13 alternative discipline techniques, including reasoning, removal of privileges and time out (Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 2005). Larzelere defines conditional spanking as a disciplinary technique for 2- to 6-year-old children in which parents use two open-handed swats on the buttocks only after the child has defied milder discipline such as time out.[0] There are ways to change behavior, and striking a child is one of them, but you are not going to get the behavior changes you are after. [0] - http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx

NLips 8y ago
Your quote directly contradicts your assertion. On Gershoff's meta-analysis, from your meta-analysis link: "...most of the research on physical punishment “lumps” together nonabusive and customary punishment with overly severe forms of physical punishment. For example, 65% of the studies in Gershoff’s (2002) meta-analysis included overly severe physical punishment in their measure, according to Baumrind et al. (2002). Examples ranged from vaguely defined “punitive discipline” (6% of the studies), composite measures of the frequency and severity of physical punishment (29%), and the inclusion of extreme violence (31%), such as slapping in the face (seven studies), beating up (three studies), or hitting with a fist and causing bruises and cuts (one study)". The parent comment specifically mentions punishment at the very bottom of the scale and guradualy escalating from non-physical punishment.