I can't believe nobody else pointed out JSFuck. Try the converter at http://www.jsfuck.com/ http://www.jsfuck.com/ -- or browse the esolang entry: https://esol

I can't believe nobody else pointed out JSFuck. Try the converter at http://www.jsfuck.com/ http://www.jsfuck.com/ -- or browse the esolang entry: https://esolangs.org/wiki/JSFuck https://esolangs.org/wiki/JSFuck Spoiler: it can do everything normal JS can. Just because it uses 20,000 characters to do a simple if statement doesn't mean your eval is 'safe'.