> Being an asshole has a lot more to do with the tone of the message than with the content. Bingo. God I wish more software developers realized this. Being ope

> Being an asshole has a lot more to do with the tone of the message than with the content. Bingo. God I wish more software developers realized this. Being open with criticism is important. But for most people who are not a very certain type of programmer, we don't want to hear the criticism given with words like: "What were you thinking? Are you stupid? Of course you don't do x." and "I've found through experience that it's important to do X, because if you don't, then Y happens." The fact that I run into so many people on software developer teams that communicate in the former manner has led me to leave traditional software development in favor of data analysis where I don't have to work on a team of 5-6 people, of whom 2-3 are complete assholes. Plus, if you want to know why there are so few women in programming, this alone is a huge factor. Yes, there are a very few women who can give and take criticism in the abrasive fashion I outlined above, but most women prefer to give and take criticism in the polite, productive manner of my second example. Once again, the criticism is the same in both examples, all that's different is the tone. Too many people in the software development industry have taken Linus Torvald's communication style as something to emulate.