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Thank you for your advice! I definitely should get better at writing a copy. I'll try to trim it down, make it stronger and clearer. I'm thinking I will add a

• jen729w 8y ago
  Make friends with a copy editor - or hire one if you can afford it. My partner is one, and she went through a project of mine the other week. So much got cut, and initially I was a bit offended. I didn't think it read like "me" any more. Then I read it again a few days later and, holy moly, I realised how much better it was for it.
  • lbotos 8y ago
    This is such great feedback. Relevant to this product/project, one of the hardest things to learn is "how to write" in the sense of actually getting the words out on the page. Once that becomes habit, the real challenge is learning how to edit. That hack and slash is really hard, but it makes for really powerful pieces.