Your essay is a bit of a wall of text, I would suggest adding headers and cutting up the paragraphs into smaller chunks to make it easier to read. Also I feel

Your essay is a bit of a wall of text, I would suggest adding headers and cutting up the paragraphs into smaller chunks to make it easier to read. Also I feel like the general essay format that is taught to you in grade school is actually a bad format. Grade school project style reports are usually easier to read and easier to write. Essays contorts most people's writing into a very awkward form. If people were allowed write without the restrictions of essays, they would usually be more clear. Better yet, try the typical medium or journalistic article format to get better reading comprehension.