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I did that by accident, and I regret it. My daughter was 2 or 3. Every night, she would fetch me for bed. One night, I was busy on the computer, and refused to

by burfog 8y ago

I did that by accident, and I regret it. My daughter was 2 or 3. Every night, she would fetch me for bed. One night, I was busy on the computer, and refused to come. She walked away sadly. She never called me again. Forever afterward, she has been cold toward me. The relationship changed in an instant. So I believe you that "cry it out" works, "one night and done". The result will last forever. This is the problem.

spraak 8y ago
That's so sad :( was it so long ago? Or maybe you can still recover from it
- burfog 8y ago
  It was a decade ago. It gets worse: she didn't like seeing her sisters have a good relationship with me. She's the most socially skilled of them by far. She set out to turn the others against me, and mostly this has worked. She'd diminish my positives, magnify my negatives, and make a good sister-sister relationship conditional on a bad father-daughter relationship. Being the social leader, she created an "us vs. him" situation. Talk about revenge... I had no idea that such a seemingly insignificant event could have such long-lasting and extensive harm.
shaklee3 8y ago
That is complete nonsense, and all recognized studies back up that there are no behavioral changes in kids due to that. I've done it for two of our kids, and many friends have done it for theirs, and there are no changes before or after. In fact, studies show the exact opposite. Kids who sleep in their own rooms get more sleep than kids who don't. It's a win-win for everyone. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3146354/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3146354/ https://www.verywellfamily.com/co-sleeping-with-a-toddler-4157986 https://www.verywellfamily.com/co-sleeping-with-a-toddler-41...
- spraak 8y ago
  Your sources are complete nonsense. The first study you linked actually concludes > There seem to be no negative associations between bed-sharing in toddlerhood and children's behavior and cognition at age 5 years. And also only samples low-income families, which already show negative behavioral trends from the more difficult living. And the second source only vaguely concludes that co-sleeping can > negatively affect a mother's mental health and cause her to get less sleep. Finally, none of these studies focus on the long term effects, which the OP is talking about.

by burfog 8y ago

spraak 8y ago

That's so sad :( was it so long ago? Or maybe you can still recover from it

burfog 8y ago
It was a decade ago. It gets worse: she didn't like seeing her sisters have a good relationship with me. She's the most socially skilled of them by far. She set out to turn the others against me, and mostly this has worked. She'd diminish my positives, magnify my negatives, and make a good sister-sister relationship conditional on a bad father-daughter relationship. Being the social leader, she created an "us vs. him" situation. Talk about revenge... I had no idea that such a seemingly insignificant event could have such long-lasting and extensive harm.

shaklee3 8y ago

That is complete nonsense, and all recognized studies back up that there are no behavioral changes in kids due to that. I've done it for two of our kids, and many friends have done it for theirs, and there are no changes before or after. In fact, studies show the exact opposite. Kids who sleep in their own rooms get more sleep than kids who don't. It's a win-win for everyone. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3146354/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3146354/ https://www.verywellfamily.com/co-sleeping-with-a-toddler-4157986 https://www.verywellfamily.com/co-sleeping-with-a-toddler-41...

spraak 8y ago
Your sources are complete nonsense. The first study you linked actually concludes > There seem to be no negative associations between bed-sharing in toddlerhood and children's behavior and cognition at age 5 years. And also only samples low-income families, which already show negative behavioral trends from the more difficult living. And the second source only vaguely concludes that co-sleeping can > negatively affect a mother's mental health and cause her to get less sleep. Finally, none of these studies focus on the long term effects, which the OP is talking about.