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The strictures against bed sharing are crazy, IMO. For the first year, my wife and infant son could both be completely asleep while he was eating (I was the on

The strictures against bed sharing are crazy, IMO. For the first year, my wife and infant son could both be completely asleep while he was eating (I was the only person kept awake by the activity). I hear stories from new parents about how they can’t get any sleep because their crib-bound baby keeps fussing and waking them up many times a night.... sounds like a nightmare.

veb 8y ago
Same here. My son was born perfectly healthy etc. We tried the whole crib next to the bed. Didn't work very well, so we co-slept. They both got a full 8 hours sleep a night together. It was great. I've never ever slept so still in my life. (tho, he was on his mums side.) When we transitioned him from sleeping with Mum to his own crib, it went perfectly. We just moved him one night and that was it. Our doctor was very supportive. Told us never to use drugs/alcohol and co-sleep. To be very careful and so on (basically echoing the article) - and it worked out for us. I guess if he was born premature or something, they'd probably say "don't do it".
pavel_lishin 8y ago
My parents number among those. I wouldn't sleep - at all - if I wasn't being rocked. So they'd take turns; half the night mom would rock me, half the night dad would rock me. I don't know if they tried co-sleeping. They probably tried everything.
- p1esk 8y ago
  One thing they most likely had not tried is called “sleep training”.
  - pavel_lishin 8y ago
    "Thank you" for your conjecture.
    - p1esk 8y ago
      Google it, you'll be surprised.
masterleep 8y ago
It certainly seems like a scientific approach to parenting gone a bit too far.
Spooky23 8y ago
Remember these statistics capture the full cross section of society. Everyone from addicts to the hyper-protective. Babies are all different, and coping is difficult, especially for inexperienced parent(s). A lot of these strict protocols are there because they are a “right answer” for the baby’s safety in any situation.
cbo100 8y ago
It depends heavily on the child too. Our first wouldn't settle in cot on her own, to the extent that we co-slept (at least in a cot attached to our bed for ~2 years). Our second, he wouldn't settle in a co-sleeping siutation at all, and has actually ended up being much better at sleeping in his own cot in the room with his sister. My hunch is that its the noise, going into your own room with nobody else, complete silence. That's scary. Sharing a room with others and hearing their breathing and moving and such is calming.
- shaklee3 8y ago
  Get a white noise machine.
  - emmanuel_1234 8y ago
    Alternatively, get one of those bluetooth speaker. Get a free recording of a vacuum cleaner / AC unit / any kind of white noise. I used it to put my son to sleep (with a timer to fade out the volume) with great success.
shaklee3 8y ago
Cry it out works well. One night, and done. The alternative is you sleep next to a kid every single night, dictating your bedtime, and never getting alone time with spouse. One of those sounds worse to me.
- burfog 8y ago
  I did that by accident, and I regret it. My daughter was 2 or 3. Every night, she would fetch me for bed. One night, I was busy on the computer, and refused to come. She walked away sadly. She never called me again. Forever afterward, she has been cold toward me. The relationship changed in an instant. So I believe you that "cry it out" works, "one night and done". The result will last forever. This is the problem.
  - spraak 8y ago
    That's so sad :( was it so long ago? Or maybe you can still recover from it
    - burfog 8y ago
      It was a decade ago. It gets worse: she didn't like seeing her sisters have a good relationship with me. She's the most socially skilled of them by far. She set out to turn the others against me, and mostly this has worked. She'd diminish my positives, magnify my negatives, and make a good sister-sister relationship conditional on a bad father-daughter relationship. Being the social leader, she created an "us vs. him" situation. Talk about revenge... I had no idea that such a seemingly insignificant event could have such long-lasting and extensive harm.
  - shaklee3 8y ago
    That is complete nonsense, and all recognized studies back up that there are no behavioral changes in kids due to that. I've done it for two of our kids, and many friends have done it for theirs, and there are no changes before or after. In fact, studies show the exact opposite. Kids who sleep in their own rooms get more sleep than kids who don't. It's a win-win for everyone. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3146354/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3146354/ https://www.verywellfamily.com/co-sleeping-with-a-toddler-4157986 https://www.verywellfamily.com/co-sleeping-with-a-toddler-41...

veb 8y ago

Same here. My son was born perfectly healthy etc. We tried the whole crib next to the bed. Didn't work very well, so we co-slept. They both got a full 8 hours sleep a night together. It was great. I've never ever slept so still in my life. (tho, he was on his mums side.) When we transitioned him from sleeping with Mum to his own crib, it went perfectly. We just moved him one night and that was it. Our doctor was very supportive. Told us never to use drugs/alcohol and co-sleep. To be very careful and so on (basically echoing the article) - and it worked out for us. I guess if he was born premature or something, they'd probably say "don't do it".

pavel_lishin 8y ago

My parents number among those. I wouldn't sleep - at all - if I wasn't being rocked. So they'd take turns; half the night mom would rock me, half the night dad would rock me. I don't know if they tried co-sleeping. They probably tried everything.

p1esk 8y ago
One thing they most likely had not tried is called “sleep training”.
- pavel_lishin 8y ago
  "Thank you" for your conjecture.
  - p1esk 8y ago
    Google it, you'll be surprised.

masterleep 8y ago

It certainly seems like a scientific approach to parenting gone a bit too far.

Spooky23 8y ago

Remember these statistics capture the full cross section of society. Everyone from addicts to the hyper-protective. Babies are all different, and coping is difficult, especially for inexperienced parent(s). A lot of these strict protocols are there because they are a “right answer” for the baby’s safety in any situation.

cbo100 8y ago

It depends heavily on the child too. Our first wouldn't settle in cot on her own, to the extent that we co-slept (at least in a cot attached to our bed for ~2 years). Our second, he wouldn't settle in a co-sleeping siutation at all, and has actually ended up being much better at sleeping in his own cot in the room with his sister. My hunch is that its the noise, going into your own room with nobody else, complete silence. That's scary. Sharing a room with others and hearing their breathing and moving and such is calming.

shaklee3 8y ago
Get a white noise machine.
- emmanuel_1234 8y ago
  Alternatively, get one of those bluetooth speaker. Get a free recording of a vacuum cleaner / AC unit / any kind of white noise. I used it to put my son to sleep (with a timer to fade out the volume) with great success.

shaklee3 8y ago

Cry it out works well. One night, and done. The alternative is you sleep next to a kid every single night, dictating your bedtime, and never getting alone time with spouse. One of those sounds worse to me.

burfog 8y ago
I did that by accident, and I regret it. My daughter was 2 or 3. Every night, she would fetch me for bed. One night, I was busy on the computer, and refused to come. She walked away sadly. She never called me again. Forever afterward, she has been cold toward me. The relationship changed in an instant. So I believe you that "cry it out" works, "one night and done". The result will last forever. This is the problem.
- spraak 8y ago
  That's so sad :( was it so long ago? Or maybe you can still recover from it
  - burfog 8y ago
    It was a decade ago. It gets worse: she didn't like seeing her sisters have a good relationship with me. She's the most socially skilled of them by far. She set out to turn the others against me, and mostly this has worked. She'd diminish my positives, magnify my negatives, and make a good sister-sister relationship conditional on a bad father-daughter relationship. Being the social leader, she created an "us vs. him" situation. Talk about revenge... I had no idea that such a seemingly insignificant event could have such long-lasting and extensive harm.
- shaklee3 8y ago
  That is complete nonsense, and all recognized studies back up that there are no behavioral changes in kids due to that. I've done it for two of our kids, and many friends have done it for theirs, and there are no changes before or after. In fact, studies show the exact opposite. Kids who sleep in their own rooms get more sleep than kids who don't. It's a win-win for everyone. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3146354/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3146354/ https://www.verywellfamily.com/co-sleeping-with-a-toddler-4157986 https://www.verywellfamily.com/co-sleeping-with-a-toddler-41...