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Well, I'm only 26 and feel exactly the same. I don't have a wife, not even a girlfriend, not a single obligation. But I still wake up every day to go to a job I

Well, I'm only 26 and feel exactly the same. I don't have a wife, not even a girlfriend, not a single obligation. But I still wake up every day to go to a job I hate, and come home to nothing, feeling empty, like I am only wasting my time. Why don't I switch jobs? Why don't I do this or that? Because I've been "switching lifestyles" (switching jobs, moving in with the GF, switching GFs, being single, etc) for the past 8 years, and every time I end up with the exact same feelings: overwhelmed, confused, depressed, stressed. So I've decided to go with the flow for a while and see what happens. Bottom line is: sorry I can't give you any advice, but I guess life is hard no matter your situation, so I hope this can give you some consolation.

emodendroket 8y ago
It sounds like you have no idea what you want. That's a common affliction, but you can't really satisfy your desires without figuring out what they are.
- ravishi 8y ago
  Yeah, I feel like I never knew what I want. I realize I want something, set myself to get it, but in the process I realize that's not quite what I wanted to begin with, so I have to start again. And again, and again. It's been like this for as long as I can remember. And I have suffered all along the way. How does one figure out what they want anyway? Do you have to quit life for a while, embark on a spiritual journey into your own mind? Take psychedelic drugs? Spend a month without saying a word? I know I sound condescending, but really, this is how I feel. I wish I felt different, and I've been working on that. Last year has been a blast, I've learned a lot, I feel like I have made real progress. But I still feel lost.
  - throw_this_one 8y ago
    Same here man, I'm 26 too. Have gotten some good thoughts from HN and other places. But part of me really just wants to quit for a few months and be alone and out in the world, get out in nature and away from social media and the city folk. Meditation has been very helpful. I also wonder about psychedelics. Maybe being with a good, relaxed friend in nature could be a good setting. But I also think, from my experience with the herb, that it might make me even more questioning, paranoid, and unsure.
  - meric 8y ago
    Take a read of Tao Te Ching. It's written 2500 years ago about spirituality. Find a translation you like. Don't read explanations of the poems - It's designed for you to find the meaning yourself. Once you've gotten a meaning for each of the poems in relation to your life (Chinese philosophy is generally experiential rather than rational, subjective rather than objective), I'm hopeful it will help you get "there" wherever "there" is. I don't think it'd take you more than a few months to a year to get through the book. So I'd go for "embark on a spiritual journey into your own mind". My life is completely different than 4-5 years ago. Most of the acquaintances I knew then probably think I've gone nuts, (and IMO selfish to show them how good my life is now), but my best friendships have become even better; I really like where I am right now in my life - every day I wake up and enjoy it - At this point in my life I've spirituality, health, family, finance all sorted. I've met hundreds or thousands of people in my life, have not met anyone else who've got these four things together as well as has happened to me yet (except my wife) - and I don't know if it will last; but it all started when I started poring over those poems. Anyway - most people these days tend towards an atheist/rationalist point of view and have no interest in books on spirituality & religion from 2000+ years ago, and if you did not ask the question I would not have written this comment. I do hope it helps you on your way.
ForRealsies 8y ago
Jordan Peterson, on Responsibility https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uuRtx_BCjQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uuRtx_BCjQ Responsibility gives life meaning.
ccajas 8y ago
I'm 36 jobless and have swung back to living with my mom after being laid off a few times. Eventually I ended up going broke. Constantly looking for work when you're not employed can do a lot of damage to your leverage and you're more prone to taking another low quality job. With no disposable money you cannot inject a lot of variety into your life. For me it became a repetitive routine of doing home chores and errands with my mom, followed up with going to a coffee shop with wi-fi just to get out of the home, and applying for jobs online, taking phone interviews or just posting on forums like this one. Then it starts to suck the motivation out of you, motivation to learn or try new things, work on side projects that you can present to employers, etc. The grind of job hunting without variety in your days is very draining. I really wish there was a government matchmaking program in the US that would help line up freelance employees with employers. I am able-bodied, my only "disability" is the ineffectiveness of acing job interviews. I'd rather my government hook me up effectively with a job, than SNAP, medicaid or cash.

emodendroket 8y ago

It sounds like you have no idea what you want. That's a common affliction, but you can't really satisfy your desires without figuring out what they are.

ravishi 8y ago
Yeah, I feel like I never knew what I want. I realize I want something, set myself to get it, but in the process I realize that's not quite what I wanted to begin with, so I have to start again. And again, and again. It's been like this for as long as I can remember. And I have suffered all along the way. How does one figure out what they want anyway? Do you have to quit life for a while, embark on a spiritual journey into your own mind? Take psychedelic drugs? Spend a month without saying a word? I know I sound condescending, but really, this is how I feel. I wish I felt different, and I've been working on that. Last year has been a blast, I've learned a lot, I feel like I have made real progress. But I still feel lost.
- throw_this_one 8y ago
  Same here man, I'm 26 too. Have gotten some good thoughts from HN and other places. But part of me really just wants to quit for a few months and be alone and out in the world, get out in nature and away from social media and the city folk. Meditation has been very helpful. I also wonder about psychedelics. Maybe being with a good, relaxed friend in nature could be a good setting. But I also think, from my experience with the herb, that it might make me even more questioning, paranoid, and unsure.
- meric 8y ago
  Take a read of Tao Te Ching. It's written 2500 years ago about spirituality. Find a translation you like. Don't read explanations of the poems - It's designed for you to find the meaning yourself. Once you've gotten a meaning for each of the poems in relation to your life (Chinese philosophy is generally experiential rather than rational, subjective rather than objective), I'm hopeful it will help you get "there" wherever "there" is. I don't think it'd take you more than a few months to a year to get through the book. So I'd go for "embark on a spiritual journey into your own mind". My life is completely different than 4-5 years ago. Most of the acquaintances I knew then probably think I've gone nuts, (and IMO selfish to show them how good my life is now), but my best friendships have become even better; I really like where I am right now in my life - every day I wake up and enjoy it - At this point in my life I've spirituality, health, family, finance all sorted. I've met hundreds or thousands of people in my life, have not met anyone else who've got these four things together as well as has happened to me yet (except my wife) - and I don't know if it will last; but it all started when I started poring over those poems. Anyway - most people these days tend towards an atheist/rationalist point of view and have no interest in books on spirituality & religion from 2000+ years ago, and if you did not ask the question I would not have written this comment. I do hope it helps you on your way.

ForRealsies 8y ago

Jordan Peterson, on Responsibility https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uuRtx_BCjQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uuRtx_BCjQ Responsibility gives life meaning.

ccajas 8y ago

I'm 36 jobless and have swung back to living with my mom after being laid off a few times. Eventually I ended up going broke. Constantly looking for work when you're not employed can do a lot of damage to your leverage and you're more prone to taking another low quality job. With no disposable money you cannot inject a lot of variety into your life. For me it became a repetitive routine of doing home chores and errands with my mom, followed up with going to a coffee shop with wi-fi just to get out of the home, and applying for jobs online, taking phone interviews or just posting on forums like this one. Then it starts to suck the motivation out of you, motivation to learn or try new things, work on side projects that you can present to employers, etc. The grind of job hunting without variety in your days is very draining. I really wish there was a government matchmaking program in the US that would help line up freelance employees with employers. I am able-bodied, my only "disability" is the ineffectiveness of acing job interviews. I'd rather my government hook me up effectively with a job, than SNAP, medicaid or cash.