I call it "washing my mind out"... I use mushrooms and MDMA "regularly" (perhaps once or thrice per year) for variety of reasons, but all of them some form of i

I call it "washing my mind out"... I use mushrooms and MDMA "regularly" (perhaps once or thrice per year) for variety of reasons, but all of them some form of improving myself as a human being. To your point about bad trips, for me, I think the bad trips are as integral to this improvement process as the astonishing religious experiences. But more to the point of the grandparent you quoted, I have always considered myself something of an alien in human skin. I mean I've always felt like I'm not even on the same planet as most people that are considered outsiders. I had a big thing typed up, but it was just too weird-sounding and too revealing, so you'll have to trust me when I say that. The whole process of life and living on a human planet is weird for me, and it's just always been that way. But what these psychedelic experiences have done for me is make me more human. I'm not quite middle aged, but thanks to my experiences with mushrooms and MDMA -- and a small handful of generous people that have joined me in some of the experiences -- I finally feel comfortable and even enjoy the biology of being a human being, and that's to say nothing of what it's done for the quality and depth of my human relationships.