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I think that's the wrong way of looking at it. In the past, when proximity was the biggest thing, we'd look to invest more in the people proximate to us. They
by lostcolony 8y ago
I think that's the wrong way of looking at it.
In the past, when proximity was the biggest thing, we'd look to invest more in the people proximate to us.
They like something I don't? Okay, fine, I'll do it, so I have a friend. And vice versa. I may not really care about doing X, but it's a way to connect.
Now? Now we are willing to keep looking. We want perfect friends. We are less willing to invest time in people nothing like ourselves, because it's comparatively easy to find others.
Even as i kid, I remember friendships that were basically "This kid is in my neighborhood" or "This kid's parents go to the same church as my parents", and that was it. Oh, they liked to rollerblade? Okay, I guess I'll learn to do that. I like video games; they'd learn to like that. Etc.
Now? Now it's superhard; even places I'm proximate to others, why would I choose to spend time with them outside of the one activity that brings us in proximity?
- k__ 8y agoSounds loke a strawman to me. I didn't like the people where I grew up with and now I found people I like. And I didn't have to be nice to someone "just to have a friend"
- lostcolony 8y agoIf you didn't like any of the people around you, I will point out the one thing in common across all of those relationships. I mean, I get it; I grew up in an extremely conservative area, while being very liberal. I had to rub shoulders with kids of farmers who didn't value education and etc. But if I wanted any sort of social life, I had to make due with the people there, find those who I shared -something- with, and I did. I found those with an interest in gaming, those who wanted something more out of life than just staying there doing what their parents did, those who read, etc, and in doing so I had to work harder, be more intentional, and expand in ways I wouldn't have had I been able to just switch social circles easily until I found one more palatable.
- k__ 8y agoI just found people online and moved away from the village after high school. That was 14 years ago and I never looked back. I found people who gave the feeling they really understood me. In the village I had nobody, only a few secretly facist nerds who thought they new everything there was to know...
- subatomic 8y agoI think you're proving the point OP was making. In the past you found people by proximity, as, not so long ago, there was no online.