4 ms·

> one of my favorite activities is to spend some wonderful hours with wonderful women to give them all my love. "spend wonderful hours with wonderful women to

by borplk 8y ago

> one of my favorite activities is to spend some wonderful hours with wonderful women to give them all my love. "spend wonderful hours with wonderful women to give them all my love" would be interpreted by many as some variation of "I'm a horny creep who loves tits". "hey what is this guy's favorite activity?" "he likes to give all his love to wonderful women during some wonderful hours, not some of it, ALL his love." "spend wonderful hours" is vague and doesn't refer to a specific activity (as opposed to "rock climbing" or "tennis"). "wonderful women" is also broad and implies "many" (as opposed to "my wife", "my two amazing sisters", "my best friend Lisa"). also mentioning "women" specifically is not a great idea (as opposed to just saying "people" or "friends") it makes it sound like them being women is of some special importance and preference. "to give them all my love" ... do I have to explain this too? it sounds unnecessarily "dirty". So an unforgiving interpretation of it leans towards "yum I love women and I love lots of em". So speaking of professional, it's best to leave something like this out. It's written in a way that is screaming "SKIP ME SKIP ME SKIP ME". A better version would be something along the lines of, "one of my favorite activities is playing tennis with my friends." There are already enough random arbitrary things that employers may pick on to skip on a candidate as it is. Especially in this climate where saying "hi" to the wrong person at the wrong time can easily score you a "sexual harassment complaint". If someone is looking for a job they should work to minimise those not to add on to it by saying "I like to spend wonderful hours with wonderful women to give them all my love".

Jugurtha 8y ago
>would be interpreted by many as some variation of "I'm a horny creep who loves tits". Which mental sinuosities must one cross to get from OP's statement to "horny creep who loves tits". Do you think loving tits makes one a horny creep? Is it the creepiness that is not okay, or the horniness? Are non horny creeps okay? What do you have against tits? Is that not sexist? Is that not called projection or some other similar word? These are all valid questions given that to get from OP's statement to your thought would be quite a feat, even for a Tolkien's character. >"wonderful women" is also broad and implies "many" (as opposed to "my wife", "my two amazing sisters", "my best friend Lisa"). >So an unforgiving interpretation of it leans towards "yum I love women and I love lots of em". And whether it's his sisters or his friend Lisa our business how exactly? Would it be okay if it were his sisters? Why would it be okay for these women to be his sisters/wife? Do you have something against poly people? Would you go as to discriminate against them? If so, who else would you discriminate against because they do not conform to your view on who it is okay to spend hours and give love to and who is not good enough for love? >Especially in this climate where saying "hi" to the wrong person at the wrong time can easily score you a "sexual harassment complaint". Do you not think that the kind of interpretations and projections above exacerbate that climate? And if that "climate" were a company, why would anyone want to spend the tiniest amount of time in that kind of environment, except to avoid starvation. >If someone is looking for a job they should work to minimise those not to add on to it by saying "I like to spend wonderful hours with wonderful women to give them all my love". If someone is about to starve, maybe. If not, it's a waste of life to spend most of one's waking hours with people who are like that.
- borplk 8y ago
  You are over-analysing and over-complicating something quite simple. None of what I described is necessarily my belief or opinion I just described how that sentence can work against a job candidate. There will be tens of resumes piled up in front of someone who is tired and overworked and they don't have the time or interest to dig into your deep philosophy about the meaning of the sentence. When there are lots of other options in front of them that don't have the same "problems" they are going to pick those out of caution. It's asking for a misunderstanding and asking to be skipped/rejected. You may lose great opportunities because the HR person filtered you out on step 0 because you were so insistent to announce your interest in giving all your love to wonderful women.
  - Jugurtha 8y ago
    Again, I understand very well the HR angle and know your advice to OP is practical and common sense. We're not debating whether your and other posters' advice are grounded, because they are. I'm not debating the practicality of not putting that sentence in that résumé.. But I wanted to debate what makes that practical. I'm sure there are places where I'd better hide my ethnicity because it'd make me more employable. A counter argument might be to say they're different things, that a sentence like OP's might signal he's a threat to employees and ethnicity isn't, but another argument might be that some people think some ethnic groups are a threat. Anyway. Thanks for the dialogue.

by borplk 8y ago

Jugurtha 8y ago

>would be interpreted by many as some variation of "I'm a horny creep who loves tits". Which mental sinuosities must one cross to get from OP's statement to "horny creep who loves tits". Do you think loving tits makes one a horny creep? Is it the creepiness that is not okay, or the horniness? Are non horny creeps okay? What do you have against tits? Is that not sexist? Is that not called projection or some other similar word? These are all valid questions given that to get from OP's statement to your thought would be quite a feat, even for a Tolkien's character. >"wonderful women" is also broad and implies "many" (as opposed to "my wife", "my two amazing sisters", "my best friend Lisa"). >So an unforgiving interpretation of it leans towards "yum I love women and I love lots of em". And whether it's his sisters or his friend Lisa our business how exactly? Would it be okay if it were his sisters? Why would it be okay for these women to be his sisters/wife? Do you have something against poly people? Would you go as to discriminate against them? If so, who else would you discriminate against because they do not conform to your view on who it is okay to spend hours and give love to and who is not good enough for love? >Especially in this climate where saying "hi" to the wrong person at the wrong time can easily score you a "sexual harassment complaint". Do you not think that the kind of interpretations and projections above exacerbate that climate? And if that "climate" were a company, why would anyone want to spend the tiniest amount of time in that kind of environment, except to avoid starvation. >If someone is looking for a job they should work to minimise those not to add on to it by saying "I like to spend wonderful hours with wonderful women to give them all my love". If someone is about to starve, maybe. If not, it's a waste of life to spend most of one's waking hours with people who are like that.

borplk 8y ago
You are over-analysing and over-complicating something quite simple. None of what I described is necessarily my belief or opinion I just described how that sentence can work against a job candidate. There will be tens of resumes piled up in front of someone who is tired and overworked and they don't have the time or interest to dig into your deep philosophy about the meaning of the sentence. When there are lots of other options in front of them that don't have the same "problems" they are going to pick those out of caution. It's asking for a misunderstanding and asking to be skipped/rejected. You may lose great opportunities because the HR person filtered you out on step 0 because you were so insistent to announce your interest in giving all your love to wonderful women.
- Jugurtha 8y ago
  Again, I understand very well the HR angle and know your advice to OP is practical and common sense. We're not debating whether your and other posters' advice are grounded, because they are. I'm not debating the practicality of not putting that sentence in that résumé.. But I wanted to debate what makes that practical. I'm sure there are places where I'd better hide my ethnicity because it'd make me more employable. A counter argument might be to say they're different things, that a sentence like OP's might signal he's a threat to employees and ethnicity isn't, but another argument might be that some people think some ethnic groups are a threat. Anyway. Thanks for the dialogue.