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I've seen women call men creepy for literally no reason (this is more common in pre-college aged girls), I assume it's equivalent to "you're ugly and not a pers

I've seen women call men creepy for literally no reason (this is more common in pre-college aged girls), I assume it's equivalent to "you're ugly and not a person to me and I'm offended you tried to talk to me (even if it was purely school assignment related)". I've even met one girl who _wanted_ it to be a term of endearment (considering the above, there was no way that was going to work). I've also seen a shit-ton of creepy borderline sociopathic behavior from males, much of it gone uncalled out (by the supposedly sane males who were standing by), which often will lead to a woman calling the person creepy (and hopefully she isn't physicslly hurt in addition to merely the scare of something terrible about to happen).

stcredzero 8y ago
I've seen women call men creepy for literally no reason I'm corroborating this. I've also seen a shit-ton of creepy borderline sociopathic behavior from males, much of it gone uncalled out (by the supposedly sane males who were standing by) Let me guess: It was from the highest status male in the immediate vicinity?
ajkjk 8y ago
You've described "calling men creepy for no reason" and then described the reason. I think you're really saying that the word creepy means something different than its 'face value', as it were. Put differently: the word "creepy" means one thing. Actually saying someone is "creepy", however, is a social signal with a very different meaning (namely: your attention is unwanted / you are lesser / something like that). Parsed that way, it makes sense that that message would not be sent in situations where it doesn't seem socially unacceptable to send it, even if everyone is thinking it. One of the better things about being an adult is that it becomes socially acceptable, usually, at least in good company, to do what's right even if it violates some status-signally thing.
everdrive 8y ago
As I understand it, a woman doesn't know which men are threats or not (and some certainly are) -- so a man who can't read their boundaries is really a canary in the mine for them. Moreso, this tends not to be an intellectual calculation, but an intuitive emotional reaction -- to the degree that a woman might not really be able to articulate why she finds a man creepy, except that it's obvious to her and her female friends agree. Although this problem is frustrating to me, I fully admit it didn't arise out of nowhere. Women have some real bad actors they need to be on the lookout for. That this is an intuitive reaction (instead of an intellectual calculation) really implies this is not a new problem. Unfortunately, though, it does mean observing some old-fashioned boundaries with women is the safest course of action.

stcredzero 8y ago

I've seen women call men creepy for literally no reason I'm corroborating this. I've also seen a shit-ton of creepy borderline sociopathic behavior from males, much of it gone uncalled out (by the supposedly sane males who were standing by) Let me guess: It was from the highest status male in the immediate vicinity?

ajkjk 8y ago

You've described "calling men creepy for no reason" and then described the reason. I think you're really saying that the word creepy means something different than its 'face value', as it were. Put differently: the word "creepy" means one thing. Actually saying someone is "creepy", however, is a social signal with a very different meaning (namely: your attention is unwanted / you are lesser / something like that). Parsed that way, it makes sense that that message would not be sent in situations where it doesn't seem socially unacceptable to send it, even if everyone is thinking it. One of the better things about being an adult is that it becomes socially acceptable, usually, at least in good company, to do what's right even if it violates some status-signally thing.

everdrive 8y ago

As I understand it, a woman doesn't know which men are threats or not (and some certainly are) -- so a man who can't read their boundaries is really a canary in the mine for them. Moreso, this tends not to be an intellectual calculation, but an intuitive emotional reaction -- to the degree that a woman might not really be able to articulate why she finds a man creepy, except that it's obvious to her and her female friends agree. Although this problem is frustrating to me, I fully admit it didn't arise out of nowhere. Women have some real bad actors they need to be on the lookout for. That this is an intuitive reaction (instead of an intellectual calculation) really implies this is not a new problem. Unfortunately, though, it does mean observing some old-fashioned boundaries with women is the safest course of action.