I'm not fond of talking about how much "experience" I have so I've made this throwaway. I've been programming for most of my adult life. I've worked on every le

I'm not fond of talking about how much "experience" I have so I've made this throwaway. I've been programming for most of my adult life. I've worked on every level of the tech stack from writing byte code for CPUs by hand to front end web development. In my college classes I helped many people survive by offering advice on tooling, implementation, and even sometimes direct one on one tutoring. I would never say I know everything about software development but I've had a lot of practice and I know how to find out how to do anything and I can teach and or exercise that same skill to anyone. Unfortunately though I am what this author would call "a baggy-eyed programmer in a dark cave with Red Bull or a unintelligible savant who can’t get a date." I'm extremely nervous in social situations to the point where I don't enjoy ordering something different from restaurants I've already been to for fear that the person behind the counter will ask me to clarify something and I won't know what to do. I've been getting much better at talking to people and I'm usually extroverted when I'm around people I've already met. As for what the article asks as a solution, as many point out, this is very difficult. > [If you’re a dude and you’re reading this article] Go befriend a girl in your class or company. It’s not creepy. I'd consider the engineers I work with to all be my friends and that's only because I work with them on a day to day basis and I had time to acclimate to them. The women who I've met university however did not pan out this way. I have many male friends. Many of whom have either noticed me, or who I have noticed, have terminals open and have been vigorously typing during a lecture. Whenever I see this I make a point to lean over and ask "what editor do you use?", "what class is this for?", "that's cool! Do you have any side project that you do outside of school". I've made some very good friends by doing this but women for the most part are creeped out. It's understandable. I'm a weird looking dude with a 12 year old thinkpad that sports stickers from OSH Park and I'm likely going to be talking to people who I already know about anime or something else equally as strange. One thing that has never happened to me, and that I've never seen happen anywhere, was see a women lean over and do what I have just described. Unfortunately just due to the nature of the possible sample size (<20% of my degree track's population) this may just be a coincidence. I love teaching and I want to get better at making friends. It's just very difficult for me, and the many others like me, to be the one to reach out. I think it would generally be positive if encouraged women to try and ask "what editor are you using?" I'd definitely go to meetups, talk shop, work on projects, etc with someone else in the NYC area. I've got a lot I can teach and much more that we could learn together. I just don't know how to make that happen. Facilitating an environment where that could happen is probably the best bet if this author is correct imo.