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> You also assume that the attacker's words are rooted in fact. What if your boss says: "It's too cloudy today! It's your fault Ian, you suck!"? - is it accep

• ianhowson 8y ago
  But that's exactly my point. With rational reflection you know that none of those things are true. In the moment, the delivery is going to push you into a threatened, emotional place. Assuming that the attacker is correct and that it's your fault is not always the right thing to do. Some attackers are malicious and will use your emotions against you. Power dynamics will not always permit you to appeal to a superior. Sometimes you need to deal with a bully yourself.
  • partycoder 8y ago
    Right. But when that happens what needs to be fresh in your mind is the sole idea that a person is put in charge of a team of people if they can coordinate those people to collaborate towards a solution. If that is not happening they're not doing their job... Meaning, it's their fault not yours. More specifically, you need to be given actionable, specific feedback... hopefully without noise or personal, emotional drama.