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> I fear I’ve been promoted beyond my competence. The idea that the Peter Principle[1] happens as you simply grow older and society "promotes" you to a level b

> I fear I’ve been promoted beyond my competence. The idea that the Peter Principle[1] happens as you simply grow older and society "promotes" you to a level beyond your competence is a novel one. The Peter Principle states a promotion to incompetence happens because you are good at your current role and so you're promoted to the new role, but what the author is hinting at is that for some societal functions _it just happens_. Is it real, or is it another example of imposter syndrome? My Father has asked me to do some paperwork around a living trust for when the inevitable happens to him and his wife. It has prompted some reflection: I'm unfortunately going to be one of those people who has to make the arrangements for dying parents soon. I find myself thinking about attics that will need clearing, paperwork that will need organising, distant family that must be contacted, and all at a time that I will want to curl up in a ball. I question if I can do that competently. I am confident I can be "the guy" others look to in a work-based crisis - a P1 costing us thousands in lost revenue a minute? I can handle that. But the societal living things that "adults" do that young adults never have to do is a little more onerous. Can I go back to being a regularly drunk 25 year old please? Take this home contents insurance paperwork and blood pressure medication away, give me some Jaeger-bombs and no memory of getting home, thanks. Good luck to us all... [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle

baxtr 9y ago
Growing old is painful, I agree. Some things get better though. I feel my wiser than younger colleagues and enjoy that people come asking me for advice so I can give back. BTW: having Jäger-bombs from time to time (rarely!) is a very good way to keeping you young! ;)
- richev 9y ago
  My growing old was getting painful, until I went to the doctor and learned I had a vitamin B12 deficiency... :-/ Three months of monthly B12 injections later and I feel five years younger! Summary: get checked-up every now & then, or if you experience any sudden change in your health.
- groby_b 9y ago
  Given that Jägermeister is something that, in Germany, old and staid people drink to aid their digestion after a meal, it never ceases to crack me up that Americans a) pour it in their beer, and b) think that's a sign of youthfulness :) But there's no accounting for taste. We have liverwurst in Germany, after all ;)
  - fizwhiz 9y ago
    but it isn't considered a sign of youth; it just happens to be a "palatable" shot that's available for cheap which is why people reminisce the drink because it was one of the more affordable shooters that you'd pound back with a beer. Mixing gets you drunk, and crafting the drink pair requires no bartending skill. TL;DR the ROI in terms of drunkenness is what makes people gravitate towards it in their youth, and that's IMHO the context of the nostalgia.
  - baxtr 9y ago
    You should go out more often ;-) young people drink it nowadays a lot, too. They had a massive success with their rejuvenation campaign some years ago, also in Germany!
  - jfaat 9y ago
    a Jägerbomb is not Jägermeister poured into beer, but poured into redbull. Not defending it, just pointing it out :)
    - rzzzt 9y ago
      I thought it's where you drop the shot glass with Jägermeister entirely into a mug of beer (hence the name).
k3liutZu 9y ago
I keep wondering lately if anyone is actually an "adult", or if everyone is just faking it because that's what society expects... this leading to a vicious circle.
- sdoering 9y ago
  > I keep wondering lately if anyone is actually an "adult", > or if everyone is just faking it [...]. The older I get (am 40 now) the more I tend to believe in the "faking it" part.
- hikarudo 9y ago
  I wonder the same. Related to this, I also often wonder if there is such a thing as a completely "sane" person. Pick anyone you know well, think of their peculiar habits and sayings, and reflect on whether a "sane" person would be like that.
  - mieseratte 9y ago
    Sounds like the mental health version of: > If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang him. We're all imperfect beings.
- cko 9y ago
  I have an older close friend who, after a college reunion, said to me, “Some people stayed the same age they were when they graduated, some people stopped at 40, some people just kept growing.” I’m not 100% sure what he meant by that, but I find that every few months the way I see the world almost completely changes. I’m more accepting, calmer, less inclined to get into heated debates over opinions, when people exhibit “crazy” behavior I actually kind of understand where they’re coming from. I hope that’s growth, and I hope that never stops. But yeah, I’m 32 now, and I’m like damn some people are raising children at this age now. My uncle was in his early 30s when he adopted me and we fought a lot. Now I get it, because at this point in my life I feel like I couldn’t possibly raise a child with wisdom and assertiveness and patience.
sdoering 9y ago
> I find myself thinking about attics that will need > clearing, paperwork that will need organising, distant > family that must be contacted, and all at a time that I > will want to curl up in a ball. > I question if I can do that competently. Well. I had that ball thrown to me some three years ago, when my father passed away. Although he was not quite well some time before that I didn't expect that to happen, as the doctors expressed a much positiver outlook. So it came quite as a (bad and sad) surprise. Having to organise that from some 450 miles afar was hard as well. I was lucky to have a significant other that supported me and researched everything there is to do in the first few days, while I was taking the train back home. Also I was lucky to have an employer that enabled me to take some days of on such a short notice. Non the less - the process (including selling the home I grew up in) took time. Was stressful and hard at times. But also the returning memories while clearing out my father's home were (as sad as they were) something I am greatful for. There was one moment I remember as if it just had happened. On Christmas Eve, when the festivities began and my former self got called to sit below the tree and unwrap my presents, the call was made with a small silver bell attached to a small wooden stick. The sound of it totally forgotten in my mind. When we were cleaning out the house my significant other's mum, helping did ring the bell. I instantly got transported back to my childhood by that sound and instantly welled up. It was such a sad moment and at the same time filled with joyful memories. There were lots of such moments. Sad but cherished non the less. I still miss him dearly every day of my life. Especially when I want to share something I did or achieved. These moments still are hard on me.
- Jach 9y ago
  I had a very similar situation, almost 4 years ago, with my mom. A scare about a week earlier, with not so great health the year before, but doctors were optimistic, then another scare that led to a phone call of "it's time to put her in hospice care". Had just started a new job too and could start bringing in the bucks to let my mom quit her dead-end job. Fortunately I got some time off and could fly out, ~800 miles for me. I'm still glad one of my uncles is a lawyer, he was able to help me with a checklist of items to take care of and could file certain things for me. My brother (and other extended family) being local out there was also very helpful, and the fact we didn't have any disagreements over what to do with the estate. Somehow with everyone's help I took care of just about everything except the house within a week and I could go back home/to work. About three weeks later I went back to my mom's house, driving this time with my truck, to get a big load of stuff to take back with me. It still took a long time after to sell the house. Definitely put the idea of a remote home owner / landlord out of my head for the foreseeable future... The guy at the morgue let me know he (and I suppose others in his line of work) will help people through the process of creating a will and so on. I'd parrot his recommendation that people should put their affairs in order long before they expect anything to happen, it just makes everything much smoother, especially if there are any familial disagreements.
bernardino 9y ago
I definitely resonate w/ your post and feel the same way but in a different way. I'm 22 and I feel like it's really tuff. Tuff because of: Cultural pressure, worldly illusions that lead to false thinking, living in a productivity-oriented time where inner cultivation and inner peace are overlooked, realizing that inherently there might be no meaning to anything whatsoever and trying to live with that and think through that, etc. But even with that, I think all is well but it's a bit tuff.
- always_good 9y ago
  Do you mean "tough"?
  - bernardino 9y ago
    Yeah! That’s what I meant.
- pdimitar 9y ago
  > living in a productivity-oriented time where inner cultivation and inner peace are overlooked Depressingly correct. You are very intelligent to have realized this at 22 and please, never forget it. We live in times where you have to actively make space and time for your inner cogwheels to run in peace. Without that, you will be depressed and stressed out your entire life. I don't want to put a tinfoil hat but from the outside it kind of looks like we are all treated as worker bees with zero desires and needs for leisure time.

baxtr 9y ago

Growing old is painful, I agree. Some things get better though. I feel my wiser than younger colleagues and enjoy that people come asking me for advice so I can give back. BTW: having Jäger-bombs from time to time (rarely!) is a very good way to keeping you young! ;)

richev 9y ago
My growing old was getting painful, until I went to the doctor and learned I had a vitamin B12 deficiency... :-/ Three months of monthly B12 injections later and I feel five years younger! Summary: get checked-up every now & then, or if you experience any sudden change in your health.
groby_b 9y ago
Given that Jägermeister is something that, in Germany, old and staid people drink to aid their digestion after a meal, it never ceases to crack me up that Americans a) pour it in their beer, and b) think that's a sign of youthfulness :) But there's no accounting for taste. We have liverwurst in Germany, after all ;)
- fizwhiz 9y ago
  but it isn't considered a sign of youth; it just happens to be a "palatable" shot that's available for cheap which is why people reminisce the drink because it was one of the more affordable shooters that you'd pound back with a beer. Mixing gets you drunk, and crafting the drink pair requires no bartending skill. TL;DR the ROI in terms of drunkenness is what makes people gravitate towards it in their youth, and that's IMHO the context of the nostalgia.
- baxtr 9y ago
  You should go out more often ;-) young people drink it nowadays a lot, too. They had a massive success with their rejuvenation campaign some years ago, also in Germany!
- jfaat 9y ago
  a Jägerbomb is not Jägermeister poured into beer, but poured into redbull. Not defending it, just pointing it out :)
  - rzzzt 9y ago
    I thought it's where you drop the shot glass with Jägermeister entirely into a mug of beer (hence the name).

k3liutZu 9y ago

I keep wondering lately if anyone is actually an "adult", or if everyone is just faking it because that's what society expects... this leading to a vicious circle.

sdoering 9y ago
> I keep wondering lately if anyone is actually an "adult", > or if everyone is just faking it [...]. The older I get (am 40 now) the more I tend to believe in the "faking it" part.
hikarudo 9y ago
I wonder the same. Related to this, I also often wonder if there is such a thing as a completely "sane" person. Pick anyone you know well, think of their peculiar habits and sayings, and reflect on whether a "sane" person would be like that.
- mieseratte 9y ago
  Sounds like the mental health version of: > If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang him. We're all imperfect beings.
cko 9y ago
I have an older close friend who, after a college reunion, said to me, “Some people stayed the same age they were when they graduated, some people stopped at 40, some people just kept growing.” I’m not 100% sure what he meant by that, but I find that every few months the way I see the world almost completely changes. I’m more accepting, calmer, less inclined to get into heated debates over opinions, when people exhibit “crazy” behavior I actually kind of understand where they’re coming from. I hope that’s growth, and I hope that never stops. But yeah, I’m 32 now, and I’m like damn some people are raising children at this age now. My uncle was in his early 30s when he adopted me and we fought a lot. Now I get it, because at this point in my life I feel like I couldn’t possibly raise a child with wisdom and assertiveness and patience.

sdoering 9y ago

> I find myself thinking about attics that will need > clearing, paperwork that will need organising, distant > family that must be contacted, and all at a time that I > will want to curl up in a ball. > I question if I can do that competently. Well. I had that ball thrown to me some three years ago, when my father passed away. Although he was not quite well some time before that I didn't expect that to happen, as the doctors expressed a much positiver outlook. So it came quite as a (bad and sad) surprise. Having to organise that from some 450 miles afar was hard as well. I was lucky to have a significant other that supported me and researched everything there is to do in the first few days, while I was taking the train back home. Also I was lucky to have an employer that enabled me to take some days of on such a short notice. Non the less - the process (including selling the home I grew up in) took time. Was stressful and hard at times. But also the returning memories while clearing out my father's home were (as sad as they were) something I am greatful for. There was one moment I remember as if it just had happened. On Christmas Eve, when the festivities began and my former self got called to sit below the tree and unwrap my presents, the call was made with a small silver bell attached to a small wooden stick. The sound of it totally forgotten in my mind. When we were cleaning out the house my significant other's mum, helping did ring the bell. I instantly got transported back to my childhood by that sound and instantly welled up. It was such a sad moment and at the same time filled with joyful memories. There were lots of such moments. Sad but cherished non the less. I still miss him dearly every day of my life. Especially when I want to share something I did or achieved. These moments still are hard on me.

Jach 9y ago
I had a very similar situation, almost 4 years ago, with my mom. A scare about a week earlier, with not so great health the year before, but doctors were optimistic, then another scare that led to a phone call of "it's time to put her in hospice care". Had just started a new job too and could start bringing in the bucks to let my mom quit her dead-end job. Fortunately I got some time off and could fly out, ~800 miles for me. I'm still glad one of my uncles is a lawyer, he was able to help me with a checklist of items to take care of and could file certain things for me. My brother (and other extended family) being local out there was also very helpful, and the fact we didn't have any disagreements over what to do with the estate. Somehow with everyone's help I took care of just about everything except the house within a week and I could go back home/to work. About three weeks later I went back to my mom's house, driving this time with my truck, to get a big load of stuff to take back with me. It still took a long time after to sell the house. Definitely put the idea of a remote home owner / landlord out of my head for the foreseeable future... The guy at the morgue let me know he (and I suppose others in his line of work) will help people through the process of creating a will and so on. I'd parrot his recommendation that people should put their affairs in order long before they expect anything to happen, it just makes everything much smoother, especially if there are any familial disagreements.

bernardino 9y ago

I definitely resonate w/ your post and feel the same way but in a different way. I'm 22 and I feel like it's really tuff. Tuff because of: Cultural pressure, worldly illusions that lead to false thinking, living in a productivity-oriented time where inner cultivation and inner peace are overlooked, realizing that inherently there might be no meaning to anything whatsoever and trying to live with that and think through that, etc. But even with that, I think all is well but it's a bit tuff.

always_good 9y ago
Do you mean "tough"?
- bernardino 9y ago
  Yeah! That’s what I meant.
pdimitar 9y ago
> living in a productivity-oriented time where inner cultivation and inner peace are overlooked Depressingly correct. You are very intelligent to have realized this at 22 and please, never forget it. We live in times where you have to actively make space and time for your inner cogwheels to run in peace. Without that, you will be depressed and stressed out your entire life. I don't want to put a tinfoil hat but from the outside it kind of looks like we are all treated as worker bees with zero desires and needs for leisure time.