4 ms·

Came here to complain about the drinking. When I worked for a startup, they had days where the company bought people beer. - I don't drink, but I felt pressure

Came here to complain about the drinking. When I worked for a startup, they had days where the company bought people beer. - I don't drink, but I felt pressure to do it anyway, so I could be part of the team. - There was an alcoholic on the team. Can't imagine what that was like for him. - People would inevitably get drunk and do stupid shit. I remember when a senior employee got drunk and completely embarrassed herself in front of a client. She was fired the next day. Can't we enjoy beer at home or at the bar? Why do we have to drink at work? I get the feeling that for some people, startups are just a way to make college last for ever.

walshemj 8y ago
Why do you have a problem with the company buying people a beer on some days? would you also object to a company meal put to celebrate a major release. I've never seen people forced to drink alcohol at social events BTW. In the real world you have to realise that not everyone is exactly like you and how to get along and work with people from different backgrounds and cultures.
- ModernMech 8y ago
  > would you also object to a company meal put to celebrate a major release Not at all. I would object though if that meal only included dead animals. > I've never seen people forced to drink alcohol at social events BTW. Social pressure is very real. > In the real world you have to realise that not everyone is exactly like you and how to get along and work with people from different backgrounds and cultures. Very true. People need to realize that other people have very complex relationships with alcohol. For some people it's a fun party drink that helps you socialize. For others, it's a poison drink that ruined their family and perhaps took a loved one from them. In my opinion, being more sensitive to the latter is more important than catering to the former.
- donttrack 8y ago
  Could people then please just stop commenting on people who don't drink. I stopped drinking and to be honest, it is a pain in the ass to listen to lame comments from people trying to be funny.
- xkcd-sucks 8y ago
  Because "drinking together" is so culturally ingrained as a social bonding experience that not drinking booze makes you an outsider.
  - 0xcoffee 8y ago
    In my country 'drinking together' is also a very important part of the culture, and on Friday's ~4.30pm work stops and the company drinks together. I don't drink and have never encountered any issues with simply saying no (but still attend the event). Curious what negative responses people have encountered.
    - caseysoftware 8y ago
      I wonder too because although I do drink, there have been times where it's just poor timing. I simply say "Sorry, I can't tonight because: antibiotics, driving home, dinner with family, etc, etc" and have had zero issues. Even hearing "I don't drink" flies just fine.
kemiller2002 8y ago
I understand what people say about celebrating a release, but I agree with you that I am against drinking on the job. I work with several alcoholics, and they are ones that have no desire to get better. It is extremely uncomfortable when management says that you should go out to the bar so you can get to know them better, especially when you drink very little (or several people on my team, not at all). I'm left with the choice, do I socialize and get deal with the potential ramifications, or do I stay away and make myself an outsider?
- caseysoftware 8y ago
  When I try to "get to know people better" I suggest both a bar and coffee shop - usually close to each other - and ask which they prefer. I'm fine either way and don't care about an explanation so it's 100% up to them with less pressure.
dvfjsdhgfv 8y ago
Well, at the companies I worked for, usually there was a choice of drinks, and people had no problems putting fruit juice in their glasses. If anyone asked why, they said they're driving, and that was it.
- jscholes 8y ago
  > If anyone asked why, they said they're driving, and that was it. Exactly. Why do they need to ask? Why do I need to invent some reason why I prefer to drink X over Y? If it was coffee over tea, coca-cola over lemonaid, or water over fruit juce, I wouldn't have to justify those choices to anyone but the most insufferable of people trying to transfer their life/health choices onto me. If a colleague is giving me a hard time every day over my choice to drink coffee because "hey, man, I stopped drinking coffee last week and I feel so much better," I'd be justified in telling them to shut up because I just don't care. But alcohol is on the table and I need to think of an excuse, regardless of whether I'm driving or not. It's bullshit.

walshemj 8y ago

Why do you have a problem with the company buying people a beer on some days? would you also object to a company meal put to celebrate a major release. I've never seen people forced to drink alcohol at social events BTW. In the real world you have to realise that not everyone is exactly like you and how to get along and work with people from different backgrounds and cultures.

ModernMech 8y ago
> would you also object to a company meal put to celebrate a major release Not at all. I would object though if that meal only included dead animals. > I've never seen people forced to drink alcohol at social events BTW. Social pressure is very real. > In the real world you have to realise that not everyone is exactly like you and how to get along and work with people from different backgrounds and cultures. Very true. People need to realize that other people have very complex relationships with alcohol. For some people it's a fun party drink that helps you socialize. For others, it's a poison drink that ruined their family and perhaps took a loved one from them. In my opinion, being more sensitive to the latter is more important than catering to the former.
donttrack 8y ago
Could people then please just stop commenting on people who don't drink. I stopped drinking and to be honest, it is a pain in the ass to listen to lame comments from people trying to be funny.
xkcd-sucks 8y ago
Because "drinking together" is so culturally ingrained as a social bonding experience that not drinking booze makes you an outsider.
- 0xcoffee 8y ago
  In my country 'drinking together' is also a very important part of the culture, and on Friday's ~4.30pm work stops and the company drinks together. I don't drink and have never encountered any issues with simply saying no (but still attend the event). Curious what negative responses people have encountered.
  - caseysoftware 8y ago
    I wonder too because although I do drink, there have been times where it's just poor timing. I simply say "Sorry, I can't tonight because: antibiotics, driving home, dinner with family, etc, etc" and have had zero issues. Even hearing "I don't drink" flies just fine.

kemiller2002 8y ago

I understand what people say about celebrating a release, but I agree with you that I am against drinking on the job. I work with several alcoholics, and they are ones that have no desire to get better. It is extremely uncomfortable when management says that you should go out to the bar so you can get to know them better, especially when you drink very little (or several people on my team, not at all). I'm left with the choice, do I socialize and get deal with the potential ramifications, or do I stay away and make myself an outsider?

caseysoftware 8y ago
When I try to "get to know people better" I suggest both a bar and coffee shop - usually close to each other - and ask which they prefer. I'm fine either way and don't care about an explanation so it's 100% up to them with less pressure.

dvfjsdhgfv 8y ago

Well, at the companies I worked for, usually there was a choice of drinks, and people had no problems putting fruit juice in their glasses. If anyone asked why, they said they're driving, and that was it.

jscholes 8y ago
> If anyone asked why, they said they're driving, and that was it. Exactly. Why do they need to ask? Why do I need to invent some reason why I prefer to drink X over Y? If it was coffee over tea, coca-cola over lemonaid, or water over fruit juce, I wouldn't have to justify those choices to anyone but the most insufferable of people trying to transfer their life/health choices onto me. If a colleague is giving me a hard time every day over my choice to drink coffee because "hey, man, I stopped drinking coffee last week and I feel so much better," I'd be justified in telling them to shut up because I just don't care. But alcohol is on the table and I need to think of an excuse, regardless of whether I'm driving or not. It's bullshit.