3 ms·

For anyone who couldn't figure out what the earlier replies r.e. judging people had to do with anything, the parent reply is an illustration.

• yters 18y ago
  What he says is my problem though. I can't connect at the small talk level. I have an easy time talking with people like xlnt about abstract ideas and philosophy, but I suck at talking about "real" things.
  • xlnt 18y ago
    "it's a feature not a bug" what do you imagine would be the great benefits of having more casual social interactions?
    • yters 18y ago
      I don't really know. I suspect you are right, that it is part of my nature to be this way. But it is hard for me to be convinced, since almost everyone I respect thinks differently and encourages me to be more social.
      • xlnt 18y ago
        well, what do they say the benefits would be? ask them to give solid reasons, and explain it until you are convinced! and they ought to have a plan for how you can do it before being sure it's a good thing for you to do. also they should be open to the possibility that they are mistaken; the conversation ought to be able to go either way.
        • yters 18y ago
          The basic point is that I'm narcissistic and need to be brought out of myself. I say I don't really know, because I can't see it myself. But, that's par for the problem of narcissism:P
          • xlnt 18y ago
            that's sure taking the easy way out. "we can't give reasons because you have a sort of mild mental illness that prevents you from listening to any." you could ask them to give you reasons in text that you'll show a third party for evaluation. anyway, so far, i don't quite see why you'd listen to them about this particular issue.
            • yters 18y ago
              Hmm, I'll try and push the issue more next time I talk with them. The other reason is mere career progression, but I'm not especially keen on that either. I detest the artificial relationships of networking and the like. I'm of the opinion that I can easily be financially free in at most 5 years, so there is no need to make alot of money. Maybe my real problem is a lack of courage to go with my own judgment. I'm confused though because my own judgment seems so much at variance with most people I know on this issue that it seems like I'm missing something.
          • wheeler 18y ago
            Like Soothsayer said earlier, I recommend you read a book about Myer-Brigg personality types in order to understand why other people behave as they do, why they expect you to behave in the same way, and why it's not your natural inclination to do that. Then you can accept who you are, and understand that you're always going to be acting to some extend when, e.g., engaging in small talk. A book would be better than an online test because the point should be to learn about all the other personality types, and how they interact, rather than understand your own. http://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Me-Character-Temperament/dp/0960695400/ref=pd_bbs_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208824604&sr=8-5 http://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Me-Character-Tempera...
            • yters 18y ago
              Now that I think about it, that's a good suggestion.