> I never understood this logic. How is Kara being offended a smart and socially conscious decision? Because Kara is a human, and humans are weird, emotional c

> I never understood this logic. How is Kara being offended a smart and socially conscious decision? Because Kara is a human, and humans are weird, emotional creatures. Our primary instinct is to scan any interaction for signs of attack. Thus, your recommendation to build trust is the right one, with trust Kara's prime instinct isn't that you're a potential attacker (and that's the main value of having high trust in teams in general - they are more efficient because they have less friction in communications). But empathy is also important: Kara didn't select the icon because she's a moron, bent on anti-social behaviour. Saying "the icon is wrong" can be understood to imply that, and that implication is, indeed, an attack. Your experience in trying to reason with people might (I obviously don't know you) stem from some measure of lack of empathy - do you enter those interactions with a belief that you're right and the other person is wrong? Try entering them in the spirit of assuming that the other person made the choice they did in good faith, but perhaps did not have all the information you do, then listen, and remember that perhaps you don't have all the information they have, either.