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I went through a period of time where I had a hard time making friends and I think it mostly had to do with my own attitude. Partly it was me not being friendly

by jm__87 8y ago

I went through a period of time where I had a hard time making friends and I think it mostly had to do with my own attitude. Partly it was me not being friendly enough (too tired, not feeling great myself) to others and partly it was me not giving other people enough of a chance (assuming they were jerks/morons at the outset instead of the more likely situation that they have their own stuff going on, or maybe they assumed I would be a jerk before talking to me so I have to show them I'm not). I imagine people just don't have as much time/energy as they get older and become a bit more cynical, both of which would be impediments to making new friends.

supernovae 8y ago
Being default jerk/cynical is a shame - and I'm not sure how we got here as things have gotten better - just seems we hold on to the worst rather than focus on the best. I'll admit, I'm cynical when it comes politics now so I write off people I know I'd normally have no problem with and it's a damn shame we've come to this as a society. I think its a symptom of us not tackling real issues and working on the real human condition... It's about "my taxes" "my money" "my freedom"... we have lower taxes, more freedom and more money than ever before and yet it's not good enough. So we don't solve health insurance, housing, population, education or anything that can be a real benefit to humans not being lonely and we focus entirely on what makes us lonely - "me me me... money money money"
- jm__87 8y ago
  Yeah, I'm not certain this isn't how people are by default when encountering someone they view to belong to a different "tribe". The problem in North America may be that we are too individualistic and don't focus enough on what we all have in common. Of course you can work on overriding your default behavior as well, but part of losing the cynicism is recognizing we all struggle with things in our lives and we all have things we care about. I feel good relationships are founded on trying to have some compassion for other people's struggles and trying to respect what other people care about.

by jm__87 8y ago

supernovae 8y ago

Being default jerk/cynical is a shame - and I'm not sure how we got here as things have gotten better - just seems we hold on to the worst rather than focus on the best. I'll admit, I'm cynical when it comes politics now so I write off people I know I'd normally have no problem with and it's a damn shame we've come to this as a society. I think its a symptom of us not tackling real issues and working on the real human condition... It's about "my taxes" "my money" "my freedom"... we have lower taxes, more freedom and more money than ever before and yet it's not good enough. So we don't solve health insurance, housing, population, education or anything that can be a real benefit to humans not being lonely and we focus entirely on what makes us lonely - "me me me... money money money"

jm__87 8y ago
Yeah, I'm not certain this isn't how people are by default when encountering someone they view to belong to a different "tribe". The problem in North America may be that we are too individualistic and don't focus enough on what we all have in common. Of course you can work on overriding your default behavior as well, but part of losing the cynicism is recognizing we all struggle with things in our lives and we all have things we care about. I feel good relationships are founded on trying to have some compassion for other people's struggles and trying to respect what other people care about.