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I'm 46 and being in LA have no choice but to work 60+ hours a week. All my friends and support network were destroyed in 2008 and I have been unable to re-creat

I'm 46 and being in LA have no choice but to work 60+ hours a week. All my friends and support network were destroyed in 2008 and I have been unable to re-create them so I live with no community, no friends, nobody cares about how I'm doing. The last time I tried to go to a doctor to check out my health I was fired for missing 4 hours off that job. I can't have a romantic partner and live as best I can off one meal a day and roughly 3-4 hours of sleep. It doesn't matter if I drop dead because as an engineer in LA I'm less than worthless as a human being.

coryrc 9y ago
Why work if your life is so terrible? Just stop and make a new one.
- baron816 9y ago
  Agreed. If life as an engineer in LA sucks, and you have nothing left in LA, then move on to greener pastures. It won’t be easy, but it sounds like you need a change.
thinkloop 9y ago
> All my friends and support network were destroyed in 2008 What happened in 2008?
- fapjacks 9y ago
  What didn't happen in '08?
- chiph 9y ago
  Start of the Great Recession. S&P 500 went from 1400 to 800 in six months. I lost 40% of my retirement investment and it was ... distressing to say the least. Movie recommendations: Margin Call https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hhy7JUinlu0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hhy7JUinlu0 The Big Short https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MesrrYyuoa4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MesrrYyuoa4
  - thinkloop 9y ago
    I know about the crash, are you suggesting that's a clear reason for "All my friends and support network were destroyed in 2008"?
    - chiph 9y ago
      People started worrying about their own situation. And in some cases they lost their houses and had to move out. This would be highly embarrassing, so they probably avoided friends who would ask questions about what happened.
      - thinkloop 9y ago
        I guess - feels like the fundamental function of friends and support networks is to be able to weather these kinds things together.
        chiph 9y ago
        Thinking about it some more - it wasn't just the house - it was having to pull their children out of private school, no more activities for the kids, having their car(s) get repossessed. Hugely embarrassing to a family that tried to keep up with the Jones'. Another movie that came out about the same time that was marketed as being a comedy, but turned out to be disturbing (or at least I found it to be so) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=102fYNaBogE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=102fYNaBogE
        scarface74 8y ago
        I never understood the concept of paying for private school. Why not spend the money on a house in a neighborhood zoned to a better public school district? Especially if you have more than one child, I just can't see how the numbers make sense. And this is coming from someone who went to a private elementary school.
  - scarface74 9y ago
fapjacks 9y ago
If you want to couchsurf in Hawaii for a while...
jraby3 9y ago
Why stay in LA if it sucks that much there? With no support network you're free. And why not cut expenses significantly? No family to support means you can get a flat mate and learn to cook. Anyway bud sorry if I sound critical just trying to help but you didn't provide too much info on your skill set and reasons for so little sleep, salary etc. Good luck would be happy to chat if you'd like.
tracker1 9y ago
Unless you have a huge reason to stay in LA, I'd consider maybe moving to Phoenix, Houston, Atlanta or SLC. Really good income to cost of living. The work in phx may be more boring corporate stuff mostly, but work-life balance is way better. IMHO, second tier would be around Seattle, the DC area or NYC. But with much higher cost of living, and imho the ratio ovs pay to cost of living isn't as good. LA and NorCal make very little sense to me for most.
slap 9y ago
> as an engineer in LA I'm less than worthless as a human being. Why that ?
cylinder 9y ago
You just said you make 100k in an earlier comment. One meal a day?
omilu 9y ago
Freedoms just another word for nothing left to lose
apolymath 9y ago
BS you have every choice, you’ve just given up. Get out of LA! Go somewhere where people will treat you with respect, somewhere beautiful where you can explore the wilderness, somewhere where the pay is good, somewhere like Bellevue WA.
wdr1 9y ago
I'm mid-40s & an engineer in LA. One meal a day & 3-4 hours of sleep sounds brutal. Sorry you're going through that. Your experience doesn't seem representative of what I personally know, nor that of my friends & coworkers. Is it you're stuck at a terrible company? Where (roughly) do live & work in LA?

coryrc 9y ago

Why work if your life is so terrible? Just stop and make a new one.

baron816 9y ago
Agreed. If life as an engineer in LA sucks, and you have nothing left in LA, then move on to greener pastures. It won’t be easy, but it sounds like you need a change.

thinkloop 9y ago

> All my friends and support network were destroyed in 2008 What happened in 2008?

fapjacks 9y ago
What didn't happen in '08?
chiph 9y ago
Start of the Great Recession. S&P 500 went from 1400 to 800 in six months. I lost 40% of my retirement investment and it was ... distressing to say the least. Movie recommendations: Margin Call https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hhy7JUinlu0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hhy7JUinlu0 The Big Short https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MesrrYyuoa4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MesrrYyuoa4
- thinkloop 9y ago
  I know about the crash, are you suggesting that's a clear reason for "All my friends and support network were destroyed in 2008"?
  - chiph 9y ago
    People started worrying about their own situation. And in some cases they lost their houses and had to move out. This would be highly embarrassing, so they probably avoided friends who would ask questions about what happened.
    - thinkloop 9y ago
      I guess - feels like the fundamental function of friends and support networks is to be able to weather these kinds things together.
      - chiph 9y ago
        Thinking about it some more - it wasn't just the house - it was having to pull their children out of private school, no more activities for the kids, having their car(s) get repossessed. Hugely embarrassing to a family that tried to keep up with the Jones'. Another movie that came out about the same time that was marketed as being a comedy, but turned out to be disturbing (or at least I found it to be so) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=102fYNaBogE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=102fYNaBogE
        scarface74 8y ago
        I never understood the concept of paying for private school. Why not spend the money on a house in a neighborhood zoned to a better public school district? Especially if you have more than one child, I just can't see how the numbers make sense. And this is coming from someone who went to a private elementary school.
- scarface74 9y ago

fapjacks 9y ago

If you want to couchsurf in Hawaii for a while...

jraby3 9y ago

Why stay in LA if it sucks that much there? With no support network you're free. And why not cut expenses significantly? No family to support means you can get a flat mate and learn to cook. Anyway bud sorry if I sound critical just trying to help but you didn't provide too much info on your skill set and reasons for so little sleep, salary etc. Good luck would be happy to chat if you'd like.

tracker1 9y ago

Unless you have a huge reason to stay in LA, I'd consider maybe moving to Phoenix, Houston, Atlanta or SLC. Really good income to cost of living. The work in phx may be more boring corporate stuff mostly, but work-life balance is way better. IMHO, second tier would be around Seattle, the DC area or NYC. But with much higher cost of living, and imho the ratio ovs pay to cost of living isn't as good. LA and NorCal make very little sense to me for most.

slap 9y ago

> as an engineer in LA I'm less than worthless as a human being. Why that ?

cylinder 9y ago

You just said you make 100k in an earlier comment. One meal a day?

omilu 9y ago

Freedoms just another word for nothing left to lose

apolymath 9y ago

BS you have every choice, you’ve just given up. Get out of LA! Go somewhere where people will treat you with respect, somewhere beautiful where you can explore the wilderness, somewhere where the pay is good, somewhere like Bellevue WA.

wdr1 9y ago

I'm mid-40s & an engineer in LA. One meal a day & 3-4 hours of sleep sounds brutal. Sorry you're going through that. Your experience doesn't seem representative of what I personally know, nor that of my friends & coworkers. Is it you're stuck at a terrible company? Where (roughly) do live & work in LA?