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I suggest reading the following books, but I also suggest not using their suggestions. These books are merely for awareness. I fee like knowing what was out t

by jdavid 19y ago

I suggest reading the following books, but I also suggest not using their suggestions. These books are merely for awareness. I fee like knowing what was out there, gave me more confidence while I was trying to find my own style. [the Game] - this book is about the secret lives of pickup artists and their quest to find either a Beta or Alpha Gal. This book offers- ZERO advice if you are looking for a Gamma. [The Art of Deception: Controlling the Human Element of Security] - from Kevin Mitnick, one of the fore-most books on social engineering. Reading this book kept us out of a few scams.

wehriam 19y ago
I agree with jdavid - books on gender-related issues can be helpful. [The Game] is hysterical. Read the ones for guys and girls. Some others: [How to Succeed with Women] - Sounds cheesy, but goes over the basics that "geeks" often miss, including dressing appropriately, grooming, and polite conversation. [He's Just Not That Into You] - Manual for women on how to tell if a guy doesn't care about them. Useful for learning about behaviors to avoid and their underlying reasons. [Self-Made Man: One Woman's Journey into Manhood and Back] - Can't recommend this one enough. Norah Vincent lived for a year as a man, and reports back on the challenges and successes she had. Invaluable for understanding both men and women.
- elai 19y ago
  I disagree with self-made man. She confuses eye flirting with 'rude' eye contact, and other misunderstandings that would be unique to lesbians. Of course when the men don't want to flirt with you because they think your a guy, they don't try to keep eye contact with you! Something like self-made man could be counter productive, giving you negative social ideas that could make you even more awkward.
  - wehriam 19y ago
    "Eye flirting" might be perceived as rude in the wrong context by people who aren't lesbians. Understanding that context is part of being socially adept. There's a fine line between confident and creepy.
    - jdavid 19y ago
      yeah, i tend to find, confidence requires you to act quickly and with allowing her to reject you. creepy usually rests in hesitation, and well non confrontational actions from a distance. i will usually look, smile, and see if she responds, before i say something. if she does not smile, i go back to something else.

by jdavid 19y ago

wehriam 19y ago

I agree with jdavid - books on gender-related issues can be helpful. [The Game] is hysterical. Read the ones for guys and girls. Some others: [How to Succeed with Women] - Sounds cheesy, but goes over the basics that "geeks" often miss, including dressing appropriately, grooming, and polite conversation. [He's Just Not That Into You] - Manual for women on how to tell if a guy doesn't care about them. Useful for learning about behaviors to avoid and their underlying reasons. [Self-Made Man: One Woman's Journey into Manhood and Back] - Can't recommend this one enough. Norah Vincent lived for a year as a man, and reports back on the challenges and successes she had. Invaluable for understanding both men and women.

elai 19y ago
I disagree with self-made man. She confuses eye flirting with 'rude' eye contact, and other misunderstandings that would be unique to lesbians. Of course when the men don't want to flirt with you because they think your a guy, they don't try to keep eye contact with you! Something like self-made man could be counter productive, giving you negative social ideas that could make you even more awkward.
- wehriam 19y ago
  "Eye flirting" might be perceived as rude in the wrong context by people who aren't lesbians. Understanding that context is part of being socially adept. There's a fine line between confident and creepy.
  - jdavid 19y ago
    yeah, i tend to find, confidence requires you to act quickly and with allowing her to reject you. creepy usually rests in hesitation, and well non confrontational actions from a distance. i will usually look, smile, and see if she responds, before i say something. if she does not smile, i go back to something else.