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That's an interesting definition of "trying harder". I think the person employing that strategy would quickly find that it doesn't work as well as some other wa

That's an interesting definition of "trying harder". I think the person employing that strategy would quickly find that it doesn't work as well as some other ways of trying harder. Those could include: Inhabiting different environments. E.g. a female friend suggested I take up yoga as yoga classes tend to be more/mostly female. Within a few classes I was dating a woman I met there. "Putting it out there" by which I mean proactively telling friends that you're interested in meeting women. This was suggested to me and my first reaction was "That's silly. Everyone knows I'm single and looking..." but in fact most people - even your friends - aren't prioritizing your dating life. If you mention it to them it sometimes can trigger a "Hey, that reminds me, I know someone who's also single...you two might be a good match." Increasing your velocity. At the end of the day meeting someone you want to date is a numbers game. The more women you meet the more likely you are to find a match. "Trying harder" can simply be making more attempts to meet more women. I.e. trying harder doesn't have to be creepy.

CiPHPerCoder 9y ago
> That's an interesting definition of "trying harder". See also: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16898821 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16898821 > I think the person employing that strategy would quickly find that it doesn't work as well as some other ways of trying harder. You'd think, but in practice, not always. Aren't humans amazing? I think if we're being prescriptive, I think working towards a culture where all parties involved do both choosing and trying. Put forth the effort to get to know people, then choose who you want to be romantically/sexually involved with among the people for whom there is even a remote mutual desire.
- maroonblazer 9y ago
  The population imbalance in China/India is a separate issue. >Aren't humans amazing? I wasn't suggesting it's not tried. Simply that it's unlikely to be successful and thus will find fewer adherents. >working towards a culture where all parties involved do both choosing and trying This happens already. Women pursue men all the time, they just don't have to expend as much energy as men do.
  - CiPHPerCoder 9y ago
    > The population imbalance in China/India is a separate issue. The observable consequences of this imbalance offers insight into human nature. The article and comments in that thread delve far into them. It's worth reading.

CiPHPerCoder 9y ago

> That's an interesting definition of "trying harder". See also: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16898821 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16898821 > I think the person employing that strategy would quickly find that it doesn't work as well as some other ways of trying harder. You'd think, but in practice, not always. Aren't humans amazing? I think if we're being prescriptive, I think working towards a culture where all parties involved do both choosing and trying. Put forth the effort to get to know people, then choose who you want to be romantically/sexually involved with among the people for whom there is even a remote mutual desire.

maroonblazer 9y ago
The population imbalance in China/India is a separate issue. >Aren't humans amazing? I wasn't suggesting it's not tried. Simply that it's unlikely to be successful and thus will find fewer adherents. >working towards a culture where all parties involved do both choosing and trying This happens already. Women pursue men all the time, they just don't have to expend as much energy as men do.
- CiPHPerCoder 9y ago
  > The population imbalance in China/India is a separate issue. The observable consequences of this imbalance offers insight into human nature. The article and comments in that thread delve far into them. It's worth reading.