4 ms·

Real stroke of genius would be making prostitution legal, and family a big deal. It'd solve men's natural urges, and women's constant insecurity that they're g

Real stroke of genius would be making prostitution legal, and family a big deal. It'd solve men's natural urges, and women's constant insecurity that they're going to be abandoned, once they get wrinkles. It'd remove so much undisclosed resentment and tension within families and society. It'd free up people involved in billions upon billions of dollars worth of industry, to do something useful, instead of preying on people's monkey-brain urges and insecurities. I'm a dreamer, maaan.

tomcooks 9y ago
You mean something like southern Europe 40 years ago. Wasn't that ideal, for what concerned family and societal tensions.
- ulkram 9y ago
  could you clarify your point. I'm interested, but this is all I could find: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_Europe https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_Europe
  - tomcooks 9y ago
    While prostitution was seldom legal in the catholic belt (unlike in countries north of the Austrian border), brothels played an important role in male culture as much as family. Men would usually lose their virginity with professionals, often as part of the "man-making" ritual happening during conscription (e.g. money received from the Army as a refund for the expenses to reach the conscription offices to get the first medical evaluation, often in the regional capital far away from home, would be spent on booze, cigarettes and hookers). For what concerns Italy, maybe Tinto Brass' "Paprika" and other of his movies are a good NSFW primer on this specific subject.
toomanybeersies 9y ago
Prostitution is legal in New Zealand and we have exactly the same problems with dating culture that people have been commenting about here.
- nojvek 9y ago
  Australia is legal too and probably a very healthy industry. But apps like Tinder are like gambling. If you are one of the guys that that matches several times a day, it can get addictive with
- alexashka 9y ago
  I'm sure there are problems within dating culture - my point is 'dating culture' is itself the problem. See my point about family values. Families are longterm. Dating is by definition short term. People don't like short term human interactions - we want stability. We don't want new friends every few weeks, or a new job, or a new anything. We don't like change, we like change every now and again, in things that don't matter, like seeing a new movie or going to a new restaurant. Modern societies are in a strange place where whatever is most profitable (except hard drugs), is what is 'good'. Candy? Good. Tinder? Good. Coffee? Good. 'Working hard'? Good. It's a vector that has nothing to do with what people actually value longterm. Hence people have 'stuff' and companies have 'profit' (short term), neither have much integrity (longterm). Oh well :)
lumberjack 9y ago
The "natural urge" is to procreate, not to simply have sex.
- ionised 9y ago
  I've read things that stated the opposite was true for men, that their natural urge is to have sex, not to create children. The children are just the product of successful sex, and we are just vessels for our genes. My own experience confirms this, as I greatly desire sex and have no inclination whatsoever to have children. Though before the advent of contraception I likely would have ended up with children regardless because I pursued sex so much.
  - throwaway413 9y ago
    Your sex drive is a naturally evolved mechanism to get you to have those kids. Whether or not you consciously want those kids is more about conditioning. The whole reason sex feels so good is to get us to divert such focus and energy to getting laid and making kids. Getting in each others’ jeans is, like, in our genes man.
    - ionised 9y ago
      Yes, I understand this. Sex feeling good is the incentive to have sex and as a result, procreate. What I'm saying is that the urge to have sex itself is the natural urge, not the resulting offspring, and it sounds like you're agreeing with me.
      - throwaway413 9y ago
        I hear you there. What I’m arguing is that the urge to have sex itself is the manifestion of the true urge, which is to procreate. You want to have sex because you naturally want to procreate, even if you don’t consciously want to. Thinking about it more though, you might be right. There might be a reason that not 100% of sex turns into procreation. If we were truly focused on optimal procreation, why did we evolve into small familial groups? Maybe there is more natural purpose to sex beyond simply procreating. Maybe we do truly yearn for sex in of itself because it represents opportunity or potential, creating a metric for determining the best mate to procreate with. And that’s what we are actually focused on subconsciously...who knows.
magduf 9y ago
No, what we really need is common acceptance of polyamory, and people getting together in 3-6 adult households. It'd make affording housing a lot easier, it'd solve a lot of loneliness problems, everyone would get more sex, and people could finally get past this idea that their partner needed to satisfy all their check-boxes. Interestingly, if you look at the polyamory community, you find that men are much more accepting of this lifestyle than women, even though women stand to benefit from it more. The landlords wouldn't like it, though.
xor1 9y ago
I don't understand where the "men only want sex" thing comes from. I think most men want companionship. I know I do.

tomcooks 9y ago

You mean something like southern Europe 40 years ago. Wasn't that ideal, for what concerned family and societal tensions.

ulkram 9y ago
could you clarify your point. I'm interested, but this is all I could find: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_Europe https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_Europe
- tomcooks 9y ago
  While prostitution was seldom legal in the catholic belt (unlike in countries north of the Austrian border), brothels played an important role in male culture as much as family. Men would usually lose their virginity with professionals, often as part of the "man-making" ritual happening during conscription (e.g. money received from the Army as a refund for the expenses to reach the conscription offices to get the first medical evaluation, often in the regional capital far away from home, would be spent on booze, cigarettes and hookers). For what concerns Italy, maybe Tinto Brass' "Paprika" and other of his movies are a good NSFW primer on this specific subject.

toomanybeersies 9y ago

Prostitution is legal in New Zealand and we have exactly the same problems with dating culture that people have been commenting about here.

nojvek 9y ago
Australia is legal too and probably a very healthy industry. But apps like Tinder are like gambling. If you are one of the guys that that matches several times a day, it can get addictive with
alexashka 9y ago
I'm sure there are problems within dating culture - my point is 'dating culture' is itself the problem. See my point about family values. Families are longterm. Dating is by definition short term. People don't like short term human interactions - we want stability. We don't want new friends every few weeks, or a new job, or a new anything. We don't like change, we like change every now and again, in things that don't matter, like seeing a new movie or going to a new restaurant. Modern societies are in a strange place where whatever is most profitable (except hard drugs), is what is 'good'. Candy? Good. Tinder? Good. Coffee? Good. 'Working hard'? Good. It's a vector that has nothing to do with what people actually value longterm. Hence people have 'stuff' and companies have 'profit' (short term), neither have much integrity (longterm). Oh well :)

lumberjack 9y ago

The "natural urge" is to procreate, not to simply have sex.

ionised 9y ago
I've read things that stated the opposite was true for men, that their natural urge is to have sex, not to create children. The children are just the product of successful sex, and we are just vessels for our genes. My own experience confirms this, as I greatly desire sex and have no inclination whatsoever to have children. Though before the advent of contraception I likely would have ended up with children regardless because I pursued sex so much.
- throwaway413 9y ago
  Your sex drive is a naturally evolved mechanism to get you to have those kids. Whether or not you consciously want those kids is more about conditioning. The whole reason sex feels so good is to get us to divert such focus and energy to getting laid and making kids. Getting in each others’ jeans is, like, in our genes man.
  - ionised 9y ago
    Yes, I understand this. Sex feeling good is the incentive to have sex and as a result, procreate. What I'm saying is that the urge to have sex itself is the natural urge, not the resulting offspring, and it sounds like you're agreeing with me.
    - throwaway413 9y ago
      I hear you there. What I’m arguing is that the urge to have sex itself is the manifestion of the true urge, which is to procreate. You want to have sex because you naturally want to procreate, even if you don’t consciously want to. Thinking about it more though, you might be right. There might be a reason that not 100% of sex turns into procreation. If we were truly focused on optimal procreation, why did we evolve into small familial groups? Maybe there is more natural purpose to sex beyond simply procreating. Maybe we do truly yearn for sex in of itself because it represents opportunity or potential, creating a metric for determining the best mate to procreate with. And that’s what we are actually focused on subconsciously...who knows.

magduf 9y ago

No, what we really need is common acceptance of polyamory, and people getting together in 3-6 adult households. It'd make affording housing a lot easier, it'd solve a lot of loneliness problems, everyone would get more sex, and people could finally get past this idea that their partner needed to satisfy all their check-boxes. Interestingly, if you look at the polyamory community, you find that men are much more accepting of this lifestyle than women, even though women stand to benefit from it more. The landlords wouldn't like it, though.

xor1 9y ago

I don't understand where the "men only want sex" thing comes from. I think most men want companionship. I know I do.