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On the other hand, there's a stigma to being a programmer: https://www.damemagazine.com/2014/05/23/amazon-killing-my-sex-life/ https://www.damemagazine.com/201

On the other hand, there's a stigma to being a programmer: https://www.damemagazine.com/2014/05/23/amazon-killing-my-sex-life/ https://www.damemagazine.com/2014/05/23/amazon-killing-my-se...

filoleg 9y ago
there is no stigma, there is a stereotype, and it is individual's choice whether to live up to it. I don't know a single guy in tech who had trouble getting dates or socializing with people through the fault of anything but their own. There is no stigma against people in tech, there is a stigma against a certain type of person that is easily found in (but not limited to) tech. A lot of people live up to the stereotype though, and that's where the author of the article is coming from. To repeat a saying I heard a lot during my undergrad at a Stem-heavy school that had male-dominated ratio - "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
- robocat 9y ago
  > there is no stigma I think there is a stigma. When single I remember the intense look of an interested girl, that switched off at hearing what my job was. However, I also think that is offset by some positive bias towards looking for wrll paid professional partners. The stigma exists. I do think it is fairly easy to avoid its effects (don't be the "undesirable" stereotype). I also think most jobs have a stigma, with negative reactions from some people. If someone only sees you as your job, that is their problem!
  - tstrimple 9y ago
    > When single I remember the intense look of an interested girl, that switched off at hearing what my job was. Maybe try telling her you’re a plumber and seeing what the reaction is as a comparison.
    - ams6110 9y ago
      The plumbers I know all have pretty hot wives. Not sophisticated, for the most part, but quite attractive by mainstream American standards
      - voodooranger 9y ago
        Because they know how to lay pipe
  - ams6110 9y ago
    Yeah I've been in tech for 30 years and have worked with hundreds of people and I can't recall a single one who wasn't a nerd or geek in some way.
- skookumchuck 9y ago
  > there is no stigma, there is a stereotype For this thread, there is no difference.
akhilcacharya 9y ago
I have serious doubts the same stigma exists for employees of other tech companies.
- skookumchuck 9y ago
  Maybe this will help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuIOGazSmHg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuIOGazSmHg (It's from the 90's.)
  - akhilcacharya 9y ago
    I dunno, but in my experience generally speaking the folks at top companies are well adjusted and have lots of interesting hobbies, at least the ones I know of at FB and a few startups. My guess is it's a consequence of graduating from elite institutions.
    - skookumchuck 9y ago
      Engineers are pretty much never the heroes in Hollywood productions, they're usually portrayed as sidekicks at best, and usually pathetic objects of scorn. The Big Bang Theory is just the most obvious example.
      - adamsea 9y ago
        Hollywood is full of negative stereotypes of all sorts, especially of women (an entire gender); and well actually men too. it’s not a good barometer of this.
      - mywittyname 9y ago
        Counter-example: Ironman. Though, I guess he's also a rich playboy who happens to build robots powered by advanced AI.
booleandilemma 9y ago
He was good-looking enough, but I wasn’t going to be able to get it up for a boring tech dude. And my city, Seattle, like San Francisco is lousy with them. Poor her. She should move to a city with less intelligent and successful men, I suppose.
- car_invasion 9y ago
  There must be chemistry. Compatible minds, attraction, love/lust, ... luck, whatever chemistry really is. If feelings aren't mutual, then I don't see the point of it. Luck is a great factor. He might have dodged a bullet, she might have made the wrong choice. Frankly I don't give a damn about them. I've turned down worthy people, I've been turned down by less-worthy ones, and reverse. It doesn't matter. I don't have any regrets. Programmers, like all people, can be good looking, physically fit, not socially awkward(?:, successful, financially stable/rich, confident, healthy, faithful, non-promiscuous, happy, etc., etc.)? and good in bed. The exact opposite can also happen. Most times it's a variable combination and that's just the way it is. That is how nature works. Tastes and opinions (not only prejudices) can change and people can find themselves compromising as they grow older. This is what matters to me, I don't want to see myself regretting choices related to my love life.
malvosenior 9y ago
Meh. Feminists bloggers have a notorious axe to grind with developers (this is Dame magazine after all). In my experience, regular people don’t try to project this stereotype on tech employees. Most people will not know what a “brogrammer” is.
- daseiner1 9y ago
  obviously most people in seattle and SF are going to know what a brogrammer is, they make up a huge part of the city’s biggest industry
  - malvosenior 9y ago
    Incorrect. Most people outside of the blogging bubble have not heard of this term. Also incorrect that a “huge part of the city’s industry” is “brogrammers”. The vast majority of programmers are just that, programmers. I’ve been in the industry my entire adult life and have never met one of these mythical creatures. After all, the term started off as a joke developers themselves would use then got co-opted by anti-tech people and used literally.

On the other hand, there's a stigma to being a programmer: https://www.damemagazine.com/2014/05/23/amazon-killing-my-sex-life/ https://www.damemagazine.com/2014/05/23/amazon-killing-my-se...

filoleg 9y ago

there is no stigma, there is a stereotype, and it is individual's choice whether to live up to it. I don't know a single guy in tech who had trouble getting dates or socializing with people through the fault of anything but their own. There is no stigma against people in tech, there is a stigma against a certain type of person that is easily found in (but not limited to) tech. A lot of people live up to the stereotype though, and that's where the author of the article is coming from. To repeat a saying I heard a lot during my undergrad at a Stem-heavy school that had male-dominated ratio - "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."

robocat 9y ago
> there is no stigma I think there is a stigma. When single I remember the intense look of an interested girl, that switched off at hearing what my job was. However, I also think that is offset by some positive bias towards looking for wrll paid professional partners. The stigma exists. I do think it is fairly easy to avoid its effects (don't be the "undesirable" stereotype). I also think most jobs have a stigma, with negative reactions from some people. If someone only sees you as your job, that is their problem!
- tstrimple 9y ago
  > When single I remember the intense look of an interested girl, that switched off at hearing what my job was. Maybe try telling her you’re a plumber and seeing what the reaction is as a comparison.
  - ams6110 9y ago
    The plumbers I know all have pretty hot wives. Not sophisticated, for the most part, but quite attractive by mainstream American standards
    - voodooranger 9y ago
      Because they know how to lay pipe
- ams6110 9y ago
  Yeah I've been in tech for 30 years and have worked with hundreds of people and I can't recall a single one who wasn't a nerd or geek in some way.
skookumchuck 9y ago
> there is no stigma, there is a stereotype For this thread, there is no difference.

akhilcacharya 9y ago

I have serious doubts the same stigma exists for employees of other tech companies.

skookumchuck 9y ago
Maybe this will help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuIOGazSmHg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuIOGazSmHg (It's from the 90's.)
- akhilcacharya 9y ago
  I dunno, but in my experience generally speaking the folks at top companies are well adjusted and have lots of interesting hobbies, at least the ones I know of at FB and a few startups. My guess is it's a consequence of graduating from elite institutions.
  - skookumchuck 9y ago
    Engineers are pretty much never the heroes in Hollywood productions, they're usually portrayed as sidekicks at best, and usually pathetic objects of scorn. The Big Bang Theory is just the most obvious example.
    - adamsea 9y ago
      Hollywood is full of negative stereotypes of all sorts, especially of women (an entire gender); and well actually men too. it’s not a good barometer of this.
    - mywittyname 9y ago
      Counter-example: Ironman. Though, I guess he's also a rich playboy who happens to build robots powered by advanced AI.

booleandilemma 9y ago

He was good-looking enough, but I wasn’t going to be able to get it up for a boring tech dude. And my city, Seattle, like San Francisco is lousy with them. Poor her. She should move to a city with less intelligent and successful men, I suppose.

car_invasion 9y ago
There must be chemistry. Compatible minds, attraction, love/lust, ... luck, whatever chemistry really is. If feelings aren't mutual, then I don't see the point of it. Luck is a great factor. He might have dodged a bullet, she might have made the wrong choice. Frankly I don't give a damn about them. I've turned down worthy people, I've been turned down by less-worthy ones, and reverse. It doesn't matter. I don't have any regrets. Programmers, like all people, can be good looking, physically fit, not socially awkward(?:, successful, financially stable/rich, confident, healthy, faithful, non-promiscuous, happy, etc., etc.)? and good in bed. The exact opposite can also happen. Most times it's a variable combination and that's just the way it is. That is how nature works. Tastes and opinions (not only prejudices) can change and people can find themselves compromising as they grow older. This is what matters to me, I don't want to see myself regretting choices related to my love life.

malvosenior 9y ago

Meh. Feminists bloggers have a notorious axe to grind with developers (this is Dame magazine after all). In my experience, regular people don’t try to project this stereotype on tech employees. Most people will not know what a “brogrammer” is.

daseiner1 9y ago
obviously most people in seattle and SF are going to know what a brogrammer is, they make up a huge part of the city’s biggest industry
- malvosenior 9y ago
  Incorrect. Most people outside of the blogging bubble have not heard of this term. Also incorrect that a “huge part of the city’s industry” is “brogrammers”. The vast majority of programmers are just that, programmers. I’ve been in the industry my entire adult life and have never met one of these mythical creatures. After all, the term started off as a joke developers themselves would use then got co-opted by anti-tech people and used literally.